Chapter 24
LILY
Lily yanked her hand free from Reese’s grasp. “I have to go talk to him.”
“I don’t think he’ll be ready for that conversation, Lils.” The pleading look on Reese’s face caught her off guard.
“Why are you trying to stop me? He needs…” She cut herself off. That wasn’t the point. Aiden might be hurting, but so was she. “I need answers. And you don’t know…”
“But I do.” Reese lowered his voice. “I grew up with him. I know the kind of guy he was after high school.”
“You knew him years ago,” Lily hissed. “That doesn’t mean you know everything about the man he is now.”
She didn’t give Reese a chance to answer before racing through the front door.
As Lily burst from the house and looked around, Aiden was nowhere in sight. Then she caught a glimpse of his shoulder behind a tree near the side of the property and strode toward him.
Her concern quickly tangled with frustration.
How could he run from this? From her?
Hadn’t he learned anything after the last time his secrets came between them? His insecurity explained why honesty was difficult for him, but it did not excuse withholding the truth. Not after she had asked him more than once whether there was anything else she needed to know.
Her hands curled into fists at her sides as she rounded the tree.
Then she stopped short.
Aiden leaned against the trunk with his head resting against the bark. His eyes were closed, his jaw tight. He didn’t react to her arrival, and for a moment, she wondered if he had even heard her approach.
He looked miserable.
Lily’s heart squeezed, but she refused to let his pain erase her own.
She had already given him another chance. She had trusted him when doing so had gone against every instinct she had spent years building. Seeing him hurt did not make what he had done hurt any less.
Lily folded her arms and cleared her throat.
His head snapped forward. When his bloodshot eyes found hers, her resolve nearly faltered.
Nearly.
Lily drew a steadying breath. “I want to know everything.”
“Lily—” His voice cracked.
“I don’t want excuses. I want answers.” She forced herself to hold his gaze.
“I want to know what happened from the beginning. I want to know why you thought keeping this from me was worth the risk when you knew how hard it is for me to trust someone again after they’ve lied.
And I want to know whether there is anything else you still haven’t told me. ”
His eyes darted toward the house as a car door slammed somewhere nearby.
Lily stepped closer, but she kept her hands to herself. “I mean it, Aiden. I need the whole truth. Because if there is more, and I have to find out from someone else again, I don’t know how we come back from that.”
He flinched, and Lily nearly felt the pain of her own words lancing through him.
“I know,” he rasped. “I made mistakes. I was trying to tell you in the kitchen before Reese came in. But I know I should’ve done it long before then.” Aiden closed his eyes again.
Lily waited.
Then, slowly and painfully, he told her everything.
He began with seeing her at the rodeo and overhearing her say she wanted to date a cowboy. He reminded her that he sometimes used Christopher, his middle name, when he competed. At first, letting her believe that was his name had seemed harmless.
Then he had discovered she was related to Mathew.
Not long after that, he had realized she was Reese’s ex.
Each new detail landed like another stone in Lily’s chest.
Aiden explained how close he and Reese had once been. How strongly Reese felt about friends dating one another’s former girlfriends. How afraid Aiden had been that Reese or Mathew would convince her to walk away before she had the chance to know him for herself.
“But you didn’t know how I felt about it then,” Lily said.
“No.” Aiden’s gaze dropped. “I didn’t.”
“Then why didn’t you tell me?”
His shoulders sagged. “Because we were new. You and Reese were still close, and Reese knew every reason you shouldn’t trust me. I was afraid he would tell you exactly who I’d been, and that you’d decide I wasn’t worth the trouble.”
Her brows drew together. “You thought I would let Reese decide who I could date?”
“No.” Aiden scrubbed a hand over his face. “Maybe part of me did. But mostly, I knew what Reese would say about me, and I was afraid he would be right.”
“That still wasn’t your decision to make.”
“I know.”
“You took away my chance to decide for myself.”
His face tightened. “I’m sorry, Lily.”
Lily searched his expression. “Then why did you keep waiting?”
Aiden looked toward the ground. “Every time I thought about telling you, I pictured losing you. Then you told me how you felt about dating a friend’s ex, and I panicked.”
Her mouth parted.
He lifted a hand before she could speak. “That isn’t your fault. You were honest. Reese was honest. I was the one who wasn’t.”
Some of the anger in her chest loosened, though the hurt remained.
“You let me believe I knew you,” she said softly.
Aiden’s face crumpled. “You did know me.”
“Not all of you.”
“No.” His voice dropped. “Not all of me.”
Lily swallowed hard. “I gave you something I don’t give easily.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed.
“Second chances,” she continued. “I gave you the benefit of the doubt after I learned about your name. I asked whether there was anything else. You looked me in the eye and let me believe there wasn’t.”
“I was afraid. I didn’t want to lose you, Lily.”
The blunt admission took some of the force from her next breath.
“I kept telling myself I would tell you soon,” he said. “Then every day I waited made the truth worse.”
“You should have just told me from the beginning!”
He clenched and released one hand. “You want me to tell you everything, so I will. I wasn’t planning to stay with you at first.”
The tightness in Lily’s chest sharpened.
“What do you mean?”
Aiden’s face twisted. “When we first met, I didn’t think it would become serious.”
Lily stared at him.
“I thought it would be a few dates,” he continued. “Maybe a kiss. Then you would lose interest, or I would. I’d never stayed with anyone long enough for things to become serious.”
She squeezed her eyes shut. “Stop. Please.”
Silence settled between them.
She wanted to shut out the words, but she had asked for the truth. She couldn’t demand honesty and then refuse to hear it. When she opened her eyes again, Aiden was watching her.
The sensation of his cool hand wrapping around hers drew her from the cage she’d been retreating into.
Her eyes flew open and she gazed at the man she’d fallen in love with.
Her heart was breaking. There were so many questions she wanted to ask, so many reassurances she needed, but this time she wasn’t brave enough to demand answers.
He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand. Her focus locked on the movement.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I hate that I ever thought about you that way.”
“But you did.”
“Yes, I did.”
Her heart broke a little more at the simple answer.
“When did that change?”
Aiden looked as though the question hurt him.
“Almost immediately,” he said. “I just didn’t want to admit it.”
Lily folded her arms more tightly. “Why?”
“Because wanting you meant I had something to lose.” His voice roughened.
“I’d spent years convincing myself I didn’t need anything serious.
Then you came along, and suddenly I wanted all of it.
I wanted the future you talked about. A home.
A family. A life together. And the more I wanted it, the more afraid I became that the truth would take it away. ”
Lily blinked back tears. “So you kept hiding it.”
“Yes.”
“That wasn’t love,” she whispered. “Not that part.”
He flinched and let go of her hand.
She hated hurting him, but she couldn’t soften the truth.
“Being afraid doesn’t mean you get to keep things from me,” she continued. “You don’t get to protect yourself by being dishonest.”
“You’re right.”
His answer was so immediate that some of the fight went out of her.
Aiden drew in a shaky breath. “I told myself I was waiting for the right time. But it seems I was waiting for a time when telling you wouldn’t cost me anything.”
Lily’s throat tightened.
“And that time didn’t exist,” he said. “I should have told you anyway and dealt with the fallout.”
She looked down at the grass between them. Aiden shifted closer, but he didn’t touch her.
He blew out a strangled breath then lifted his eyes to meet hers. “I got attached and…” He lifted a shoulder, his smile void of the happiness she craved to see. “I fell in love with you.”
Lily lifted her gaze.
His eyes were wet, but he didn’t look away.
“I love you,” he continued. “And I know saying that doesn’t fix what I did. It doesn’t make the secret smaller. But nothing about what I feel for you is temporary.”
Lily drew in a shaky breath, dragging in the oxygen she’d deprived herself of.
It felt good to know that Aiden still wanted her. He was struggling, but he knew he’d made a mistake and he’d finally told her the truth. In a way, she could understand why he kept everything from her. But it still didn’t make it right.
“Is there anything else?” she asked.
Aiden shook his head. “No. That’s everything.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes.” His voice strengthened. “No more half-truths. You know all of it now. And it feels good to have it all out in the open.”
Lily studied him, trying to decide whether she could trust the answer.
“I took advantage of your trust,” he said. “I know that. And I don’t expect you to forgive me just because I’m sorry or because I love you.”
His throat worked as he swallowed.
“But I am sorry. And if you give me another chance, I’ll spend however long it takes proving I can be honest with you.”
“Lils!” Reese called from the porch.
Both of them turned. Aiden stepped back. The retreat cut through her more sharply than she expected.
“You should go,” he murmured. “This is your party. Your guests are waiting.”
“I don’t care about the party right now.”
“I do.” His voice softened. “I’ve already ruined enough of your birthday.”
Reese called her name again.
Lily glanced toward the house. “One second.”
When she turned back, Aiden was already moving toward the side yard.
“Aiden.”
He stopped.
“This conversation isn’t over.”
His shoulders rose with a slow breath. “Okay.”
She wanted him to turn around. To come back. To prove he would stay even when things were painful. But he didn’t.
Lily bit back a cry of frustration and headed toward the porch. Reese stood at the top of the steps, concern etched across his face.
“Lils—”
Lily held a hand up to stop him. “I’m not in the mood for a talk, Reese.
” She didn’t blame Reese for what had happened.
His views and her own might have frightened Aiden, but the choice to keep lying had still been his.
Anything Reese might say would only make things worse.
While her instincts were screaming at her to walk away, she simply couldn’t.
“Lily,” Reese tried again, this time reaching for her hand.
She froze and stared down at their hands. Then she gently eased her hand out of his. “What?”
“We should probably talk…”
Lily clasped her hands together tightly. “I don’t think we should. Not until Aiden and I work out what’s going on. And please don’t follow him.”
His brows lifted.
“I mean it, Reese. Whatever happened between the two of you, don’t turn this into a confrontation at my birthday party.”
“I won’t.”
Lily released a slow breath. “Thank you.”
She walked through the house and out the back door.
The party was still in full swing. Music drifted across the yard, and laughter rose from the tables beneath the strings of lights. For everyone else, nothing had changed.
Lily found Aiden almost immediately. He stood beside Mathew with a tight smile on his face. He glanced at her only briefly before turning back to their conversation.
Sensing Reese at her back, Lily moved forward into the fray.
Music played. Birthday wishes were offered.
And she found herself being drawn to her sisters.
Jasmine could tell something was wrong, but she had the grace not to say anything.
Or maybe it was the subtle shake of Lily’s head that made her keep her mouth shut.
Reese hovered, speaking to a few other people, but for the most part he kept his distance from Aiden. She caught them eyeing each other a few times, but no one made a scene, so at least there was that. At least they were respecting what she had asked.
Lily forced herself to breathe through the uncertainty. She wanted to believe everything they had built would be enough, but love alone could not restore what had been broken. She needed to ask God for wisdom before her heart ran too far ahead.
Lily caught Aiden’s eye across the yard again.
She didn’t smile. Neither did he. But for now, he stayed.