13. Ford
13
Ford
B lair was right—I should’ve deleted those pictures of her from my phone. Not because of storage concerns, but because I constantly find myself looking back at them like some obsessed stalker. Even after only a few days without seeing her, my body still reacts to nothing more than the mere thought of her. It’s pathetic. Hell, I’m pathetic.
I’d been hopeful a few days apart would bring clarity and remind me of all the reasons why we shouldn’t be together, but now I can’t help but question if she’s wrong about us. Even after all these years, she’s still on my mind more than she should be, and there has to be a logical explanation as to why that is. It’s either that, or I’m nothing more than a pathetic loser who can’t stop dwelling on the past and the woman I let slip through my fingers. I’d much prefer it to be the first option, since at least then I’d have the option to fix things and make it right.
Despite everything, though, I’m reminding myself once again that today isn’t the day to dwell on this, especially since this is another significant day for our other best friend. I’m not invited to the actual bridal shower—even though I’m part of the wedding party—it turns out Pete’s family is incredibly traditional and requested that today be women-only. I can’t say I mind that I’ve never been invited to a bridal shower, including my soon-to-be ex-wife’s; I’m perfectly fine with keeping that tradition alive.
Ronnie and Blair didn’t let my lack of invitation stop them from asking for my help though. Knowing that they’d need someone to assist with the heavy lifting, they enlisted me to set up the tables and chairs under a large white tent that’s been placed in the spacious backyard of Pete and Ronnie’s soon-to-be-home.
Luckily, the temperature outside is still pretty mild, given that it’s mid-spring here in Colorado, but I still feel beads of sweat forming on my forehead as I pause to catch my breath and lift the bottom of my shirt to wipe it away. I don’t know what they were thinking when they asked me, of all people, to help with this particular job. There are much bigger and likely more capable men who can handle all this lifting, but I’m doing my best to remain useful.
“Showing off those abs are we? Blair asks, amusement lacing her tone as she stops at a nearby table that I’d just set up so she can add the finishing details. The women have gone all-out with today’s event, with each table getting a light blue tablecloth with a blue-and-white flower centerpiece adorned with greenery and candles.
“Does it count if I don’t actually have any of those?” I chuckle, well aware of the fact that I don’t have anything to show off in that department. I wouldn’t say I’m overly thin, but I also don’t exactly have anything to brag about either, with little to no muscles in sight. If anything, if one were to say something about my stomach, they’d likely say it was flat as a pancake.
“I didn’t think it looked too bad.” She shrugs, adjusting the light blue tablecloth so that it falls perfectly flat.
I can’t stand the goofy grin that pops up, but it’s impossible not to smile at her compliment. I’ve always been a pushover for any nice sentiment she sends in my direction, and I’ll happily embrace any praise she’ll willingly give me, even if she likely didn’t mean much by it. I’m basically her own personal obsessed golden retriever, but isn’t that seen as a good thing these days?
“So you were checking me out, huh?”
She scoffs. “Don’t let it get to your head. You’re the only guy here, and I’m about to spend the day surrounded by women. It’s not like I have a lot of options.”
“Oh, it’s already gone to my head,” I playfully warn, as I move to unfold another chair and set it near the current table I’ve been working on. Although, I’m not kidding here. In fact, I’ll likely be obsessing over the compliment all day. “It’s not every day that a guy gets checked out, especially when you’re usually known around town as the nerdy science teacher.”
“You really think that’s how people see you?” she asks, stopping what she’s doing as she turns to look at me and plants her hands on her hips.
“It’s not?” I ask, my skeptical expression mirroring my words.
She rolls her eyes. “No, believe me. I hear all the gossip, and even being here less than a week, I’ve already heard people talking about how the good-looking Ford Hastings is newly single and ready to mingle.”
My face drops. Perhaps I should be happy about the fact that people are supposedly complimenting my appearance, especially since I’ve never really seen myself that way. Yet, all I can focus on is how more people than I realized are aware of my separation from Jenny.
It’s possible she’s been the one going around talking about it, and I wouldn’t blame her if she needed the support, but it’s oddly depressing to think about the entire town knowing of my failings as a husband, especially since even Blair, who’s no longer a local, is aware of it. It’s been real for a while now, but this somehow adds an extra layer of finality to things.
“Oh, Ford,” she starts, clearly reading the emotions on my face as she hurries over and places her hand on my shoulder before gently caressing the top of my back. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. I know this is a weird and sensitive subject.”
“No, it’s fine. It’s not even the fact that Jenny and I are separated,” I sigh. “If anything, maybe I should be relieved. The more time we spend apart, the more I realize just how necessary this separation is. Jenny and I are done,” I add with a definitive nod. “At least we don’t have to worry about making some official announcement and catching everyone off guard with it.”
“Well, unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, in your situation, Peggy is the one that told me, which likely means everyone in the town really does already know.”
“Oh God,” I half-laugh with no trace of amusement. “So everyone does know, huh?”
“Probably.” She nods, her hand falling to her side as I immediately feel the absence of her touch, realizing just how much I needed it.
“I guess at this point we just need to go about making things official. We have the paperwork drawn out, but I don’t think either of us has been ready to make the final move.”
“What’s specifically been the thing that’s held you back?” she asks, returning to the table as she picks at the centerpiece to fluff out the flowers, making sure everything sits just right.
“I’m not sure,” I muse, also trying to distract myself from the serious conversation at hand as I set up another chair. “I guess I just hate feeling like I’m giving up on something. It doesn’t help that it was something I chose despite…well,” I hesitate before continuing, “despite you giving me another option and going through with it anyway. Part of me worries that I never truly gave it my all because I was never able to fully let go of the idea of you, or rather, the idea of us.”
She stops messing with the floral arrangement as she turns to look at me. “What?”
“Is it really that much of a surprise?” I ask, genuinely curious, as I freeze and glance her way. “You have to know that even though we never dated and even with me still marrying Jenny, that didn’t suddenly mean that everything I ever felt for you went out the window. You were a huge part of my life and while maybe that day marked the end of things for you, I could never get myself to stop caring, even when I probably should have. That wasn’t fair to any of us, especially not Jenny.”
“It didn’t end there for me either,” she softly confesses, her luminous blue eyes revealing the weight of our shared guilt. Despite the honesty in what she said, there’s no comfort to be found in this revelation, especially since it only makes me feel worse about how much time was wasted, not just for us, but for everyone involved. “But like I said the other day, I think it was for the best. It had to be, right? We never would’ve worked.”
My frown deepens as a line forms between my brows. “What makes you so sure of that?”
“I was the daughter of the town drunk who now spends her life traveling around the world with a bunch of rowdy musicians. You’re the son of the good ol’ town sheriff and everyone loves and adores you, and rightfully so, especially since now, on top of all that, you’re the goofy and lovable science teacher. What about the two of us being so different makes you think we could ever work?”
“Why couldn’t we?” I press, setting the chair that I’ve been holding aside as I take a step toward her. “We’ve been friends since the sixth grade, or at least we were until two years ago, and we were always close and made it work.”
“There’s a huge difference between being nothing more than platonic friends and being two people who can work in a long-term relationship, especially in a town like Evergreen Grove. If you don’t think I heard the gossip about how I was such a bad influence on you and Ronnie and how people didn’t know how you put up with me and my family, then you’re clearly mistaken.”
I do everything in my power not to roll my eyes because I get why she feels this way. In a town like Evergreen, where gossip spreads like wildfire, Bill Bennett’s notorious reputation ensured that Blair and Miles were frequently the subject of conversation. It didn’t take much for people to make snap judgments about Blair and Miles, but for those who were close to them, we all knew those assumptions couldn’t be further from the truth.
Even now, Miles, who has a great job and runs his own successful business, continues to spark rumors. Given that he tends to be standoffish and aloof, sticking mostly to himself people see that and assume he somehow thinks he’s better than everyone. I’ve even heard that some people think he’s untrustworthy or that he’s partaking in shady business dealings.
Yes, most people are sane and go to him for all their automotive needs since he’s easily the best in the business, but a select few still decide to go to the next town over just to avoid dealing with him.
It didn’t help that, no matter who was behind the crazy scheme growing up, Blair always took the blame for being the bad influence, even when most of the time it had been Ronnie’s idea. Blair had always tried to brush it off or pretend like it didn’t bother her, and sometimes she even played into it, but I could always sense the vulnerability beneath her brave facade. She was always so good at pretending like she didn’t care, and while she played that role well, Ronnie and I always knew better.
“If you think for one second that I care what they think—”
She interrupts. “It doesn’t matter what you think. I care what they think, Ford. I don’t want you getting lumped into things with me. And sure,” she continues, throwing her hands into the air, “maybe two years ago I did try to break the two of you up, but even with us having not spoken for two years until now, I’m sure if we were to get together, everyone would still find a way to blame me. I would be the one who ruined and broke up your marriage. I’d be the one responsible. It’s me. It’s always been me. I’ve always been the problem.”
I want to tell her that I get it, or that I don’t care what anyone thinks, but as she rightfully pointed out, she does. A loud, frustrated breath escapes my lips as I shake my head and rack my brain for a way to convince her that, despite everything, it can all be okay. Unfortunately, the doubt slowly starts to creep in. Is she maybe right about this?
The air grows heavy with an uncomfortable silence, amplifying the sound of our breathing, but soon, a voice breaks through the quiet. “We forgot the ice. How could I forget the ice?” Ronnie panics as she rushes toward us.
“It’s fine, Ronnie,” Blair assures her, turning to give Ronnie her full and undivided attention. I should be grateful for the interruption, but there’s a nagging feeling that I once again screwed everything up and let another precious opportunity slip through my fingers.
“We got this, right Ford?” Blair asks, interrupting my thoughts as she brings me back to the present.
“Uh, yeah. Of course.” I robotically nod, saying what I assume is the right answer.
“You go hop into the shower, take a much-needed break, and don’t stress. As soon as Ford finishes with the chairs, he’ll get the ice, and I’ll finish up here. Everything is going to be perfect. I promise, alright?” Blair soothes, placing her hands on Ronnie’s shoulders.
Ronnie lets out a long breath, the tension visibly leaving her body, as she nods her head slowly.
“Now go. We got this,” Blair says, taking matters into her own hands as she spins Ronnie back toward the door and gives her a light, encouraging shove in that direction. “I mean it. I don’t want to see you until right before the shower.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Ronnie calls back to us, but thankfully she manages a smile, one of the first I’ve seen from her all day, which, knowing Ronnie, says something. The woman usually exudes pure sunshine, rainbows, and butterflies.
After watching her follow directions, I wait until the back door is shut, before I turn to face Blair again.
“Blair, I should…” I begin, but she holds up a hand to stop me.
“No more. Not today. Please,” she sighs, closing her eyes. “Let’s just get this done like we promised.”
I pinch my lips together in a straight line before agreeing with a quick nod. “Okay, yeah. Sure.”
Selfishly, I want to continue right where we left off, but Blair’s right. Ronnie’s apparent stress makes it clear just how important this event is to her, and I’m determined not to add to that, even if it means taking on all the stress myself. Like usual, I’m going to prioritize Ronnie, and Blair’s peace of mind.
“Thank you,” she says, her voice quiet before heading back toward the house. I have to assume she’s going to grab more of the centerpieces, but it also feels like an obvious attempt to achieve as much distance from me as she possibly can.
Then again, distance is likely the best thing for both of us, especially as I think over our conversation. Blair’s mere presence is driving my senses absolutely crazy, so maybe it’s best I wasn’t invited to today’s event, especially given how on edge the two of them seem to be.
Then again, how crazy could a bridal shower get? I’m sure they’re overreacting. Isn’t today supposed to be a fun and relaxing event to celebrate the bride? Either way, I’m not about to question any of it as I do as I’m told and get back to work.
While I get that I might be making things more difficult for Blair, I’m fully committed to going above and beyond to ensure that this day is nothing short of perfection for both of my best friends.