34. Alana
“It’s nice, having a social secretary,”Alana said, lying in the hospital bed as Hudson updated all their friends about her recovery. “I feel like I’m living in some Regency Romance book, where I collapse onto chaise lounges and cause scandal by showing my ankles in public.”
“You whore,” Hudson deadpanned.
“I think showing my ankles would be the least whore-like thing about me if I lived in the 18-whatevers.”
“Probably,” Hudson replied. “Also, just so you know, I’ve already texted Shannon three times telling her that you are, in fact, not dead, recovering from surgery, but your phone is dead and charging. I don’t know if she doesn’t believe me or she doesn’t care, and wants to talk to you anyway.”
“Can I send her a quick voice note from your phone?” Alana asked. “And then I’ll call her later.”
“Sure.” Hudson passed his phone over, which. Holy shit. He did love her.
“Hi Shanny. I am fine. I promise. Hudson will send you the picture of my scan where my uterus is nowhere to be seen, and I’ll call you later when my phone is charged and I’m slightly more awake. Love you love you love you byeee.”
She sent the message, and a message popped up. And then another message. And then a third. “You’re very popular.”
“Nah, it’s just the extended family chat. My mom had told my siblings that you were having surgery, and then they told all the cousins.”
“Your cousins were nice,” Alana said. “As much as I remember from my haze of panic at your show.”
Hudson clicked through to the messages. “Meet the cousins for real,” he said, and passed her the phone back.
“Holy shit, they’re so busy.”
“They’re waiting for updates about you,” he replied.
“So tell them I’m out of surgery.”
“I already did. They want further information. If we’re not careful, I think Dina’s going to show up here with food. Which wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing, but it would set a precedent.”
“What do you mean?”
“One relative visits, they all find out. David’s kids will somehow find out, because they have ears like bats. And then the next thing you know, you’re possibly entertaining a hoard of small children on FaceTime. Which is all well and good, and they’re great kids, but you have to rest.”
“How are we going to explain everything to your family?” Alana asked.
“How are we going to explain it to yours?” Hudson asked.
“Oh, we’re not going to. I don’t talk to most of them.”
“What about your great-aunt?”
“Oh, I’ll tell her the truth. She’ll get a kick out of it. She’s a fan of romance novels.”
“Is that how we’re describing this?”
“I think the correct term would be idiots to lovers,” Alana said.
Hudson laughed. “I’m down.”
His phone buzzed again. “Ben’s set up a meal train spreadsheet already.”
Alana’s eyes watered. “I love our friends.”
“I’m sending the link to my cousins.”
“You don’t have to do that,” she protested. God, what were they going to think of her, if this was the first impression of her they had?
Or second? She’d seen a lot of them at the gallery, but hadn’t actually met.
“Oh, I definitely do,” Hudson replied. “I would also text it to my mom, but she already has things in her freezer for when we’re ready to leave.”
“You have a really good mom, Hudson,” she whispered, her voice wobbling.
“She’s your mom too, now,” he gently reminded her.
“She is,” Alana said with wonder. “Are you sure she’s not mad at us?”
“For what?”
Alana stared at him. “Remember the part where we got secretly married and didn’t tell your parents?”
“Oh, that part. Nah.” Hudson passed her the insulated water bottle he’d brough. “Drink.”
She obliged, taking small sips of water. “Millers are hydrated,” she said. “Your mom told me that.”
“We are,” Hudson said. “Speaking of. You’re good with staying married, right?”
Alana glared at him. “If that was a proposal, the answer is no.”
“That was me asking you if you wanted me to propose.”
“Well, I did already, so I think you should take it this time.”
Hudson grinned, got out of bed, and went to drop to one knee.
“No!” Alana gasped.
“Good no, bad no?”
“Both no?” Alana replied. “I don’t know how I’m feeling.”
Hudson came to sit back next to her on the bed, and took her hands. “Listen, we may not have had the most conventional start to a marriage.”
“Honestly, minus the reason we got married, it wasn’t that unconventional,” Alana said. “I mean. I wore a wedding dress, you wore a suit, we had a honeymoon, and we moved in together.”
“True. We did promise Barbara that she could help plan the reception as soon as you’re healed from surgery,” Hudson said. “We can stick with that.”
“She’s going to go so overboard,” Alana warned him. “You may deeply regret it almost immediately.”
“If we’re celebrating the fact that we somehow bumbled our way to a Happy Ever After, I won’t regret any of it,” Hudson said.
“You say that now,” Alana said. “And then she’s gonna start talking about ice sculptures and I promise, you’re going to regret things.”
“So we say no ice sculptures,” Hudson said. “It doesn’t have to be that complicated. None of this does.”
None of it did, Alana realized. She loved him. He, against all odds, loved her. They were already married.
They had survived more intentional and unintentional tests to their marriage in the past few months than she ever would have guessed, and they came out of it better for all of it.
Well, maybe not all of it.
Maybe just some.
But their biggest hurdles, Alana hoped, were already behind them.
And sure, shit was going to get messy again, that was just how life worked. But they had the eyeliners of truth, and the ability to laugh at themselves, and some sterling health insurance.
Really, what else did they need?
It was finally discharge day, and Alana wanted nothing more than to go home and immediately take the world’s hottest shower. Hospital showers were serviceable enough, but the water pressure was terrible, and it just didn’t feel right.
(It was big enough to fit two people in there, and Hudson had very clearly put his foot down when she pointed it out. “I wasn’t saying that we should both get in here now,” Alana had protested. “I’m just saying there’s one pro to this shower.”
“If you insist,” Hudson had responded.
Somewhere, at some point, Alana was going to find a shower with incredible water pressure that was big enough to house an entire football team, and she was going to seduce her husband in there. He didn’t even know what was heading his way.)
Hudson had slept at his parents’ house the night before, mostly because the little pull out bed thing that they gave him looked terrible, and Alana had insisted. “At least one of us should be well rested,” she’d argued the night before. “I’ll nap when I get home.”
“And I won’t be able to,” Hudson had said. “I’m going to sit there the whole time with my fingers under your nose, making sure you’re still breathing.”
“If that’s what you need to do,” Alana had replied. “Doesn’t sound very comfy.”
Hudson shrugged. “Neither is anxiety.”
“You have a point.”
She’d showered and gotten dressed by herself this morning, and neither of them went as poorly as she thought they would. Dominique, one of the nurses, had stayed with her, just in case, but everything went well. “A strong, independent woman,” Dominique had said when Alana had exited the bathroom.
“Who doesn’t need a uterus,” Alana replied.
Dominique laughed. “Amen, sister.” She helped her get dressed, and scolded her when she tried to pack up her bags by herself. “Sit down. Let that husband of yours do it when he comes to get you.”
“I can just lie and tell him you did it.”
“Oh, no, this is between you and your man. I am not getting involved.”
Alana burst into tears.
“What happened?” Dominique crooned.
“He is my man,” Alana sobbed.
The door to the room swung open, and there stood a very concerned Hudson. “What happened?”
“I remembered that you’re my husband,” Alana said, tears streaming down her cheeks. “And I that you love me.”
Hudson laughed. “Oh, Lana.”
“I don’t like these hormones,” she said, swiping at her cheeks.
“I do,” he replied.
“Why? I’m perpetually a snotting mess.”
“Because they’re a result of you not having to suffer anymore.”
“Oh. Right.” Alana beamed up at him. “Did I tell you I love you yet today?”
“Are we counting the one post-midnight?”
“No, that was yesterday.”
“So, no.”
“I love you, Hudson Asher Miller.”
“And I love you, Alana Rose Bruckner.”
“Bruckner-Miller,” she said.
“Really?”
“Really.”
“You can have it as soon as you want it.”
Alana grinned through her tears.
“My last name, goof. The doctor already gave you a time frame for other things.” Hudson took a tissue and wiped her face gently. “Ready to blow this popsicle stand?”
“Now you’re just being mean,” Alana pouted.
Hudson laughed. “Couldn’t help it. Let’s go home?”
“Let’s go home,” Alana agreed.
It was almost upsetting, how well recovery was going for Alana. Dr. Flua even said so, after a follow-up visit. “I don’t think I’ve met a body that’s been so happy to be uterus free,” she said.
“It’s been through a lot,” Alana replied. “So it does check out.”
She and Hudson had dozens of arguments about Alana just casually logging into her work email, just to check a few things.
“Alana, I am beginning to suspect that you are a workaholic,” Hudson said, after he threatened to steal her phone from her, in an attempt to keep her away from Outlook.
“I don’t know what would give you that idea,” Alana said, trying to reach for her tablet.
Hudson swatted at her hand. “No. Bad kitty.”
Alana looked at him.
“I’m this close to getting a spray bottle and seeing if it works,” he replied, unrepentant.
“We should get a cat,” Alana said.
“Should we?”
“I think maybe.”
“How about we start with fish?”
“You can’t cuddle fish,” Alana said. “And then, if the fish do work out, we can’t get a cat then.”
“Damn. My devious plan has been discovered.”
“I’m going to tell your dad that I want a cat,” Alana said. “And just wait and see what happens.”
All of Alana’s worries about how Hudson’s parents would react to finding out about their marriage had been entirely unfounded. They were thrilled to have a daughter-in-law, and had found the actual story of their marriage a lot funnier than she thought they would have.
His siblings had also been over the moon when they found out, and they had been giving Hudson shit about being the first to get married ever since.
They still hadn’t picked an official wedding date, but all of Hudson’s siblings were going to be flying in to spend Rosh HaShanah with their parents, and Alana, for the first time since she was a teenager, was going to get to spend the High Holidays with family.
Auntie Yaya, was, as expected, tickled pink, and was excited for them to come spend time visiting when they were able to.
“My dad’s not going to get you a cat,” Hudson said.
“Are you sure about that?”
“Considering he’s allergic to them, yes?”
“But like, how bad?”
“Not breathing bad.”
“Ohhh.” Alana paused. “What kind of fish sound like good pets?”
Nobody gave a better reaction to finding out that Alana and Hudson were going to stay married than their friends.
They waited until as many of them were home to tell them all, and Shannon FaceTimed from Montana. She would be back home soon, and even though she wouldn’t be living in the apartment, she would be in the building, and Alana was counting down the days.
“What’s going on?” Ben asked, sitting on one of the folding chairs at the table. “Not that I don’t love hanging out with all of you, but you need more seating if you’re planning to host all of us more often.”
“So, you know how we had planned on staying married for a year?” Hudson began.
“Oh, thank you, Jesus, Mary, and Jehosephat,” breathed Ophelia. “Are we finally at this part?”
“Someone check the time!” JP hollered. “No Jeopardy rules.”
“Who the hell is Jehosephat?” Deacon asked. “That’s not Jesus’s dad’s name. He has some other J name, right?”
Shannon shrieked on the phone. “Son of a bitch!”
“What?”
“DeShawn won!” she exclaimed.
“He did?” Oliver typed for a few moments on his phone. “Well, I’ll be damned.”
“He’s gonna owe us drinks for the rest of eternity,” Jamie said.
“Hold on, what exactly was the bet?” Alana demanded. “Which, by the way, Hudson and I should get a cut of.”
“We started this version when you proposed,” Cal said shamelessly. “Which was when we were at Nest, so the staff there also found out, and wanted to take part.”
“What was the exact bet?”
“There were two. One was when did you two figure out that you’d actually gotten married for real, and were actually in love with each other, and the other one was figuring out when you’d finally admit it to us. DeShawn was off by three minutes.”
“If you’re about to tell me that Mysterious Owner also bet on Hudson and I, I am going to explode.”
“As far as we know, he didn’t,” Matilda said.
“Unless he also works at the restaurant,” Ophelia pointed out. “And then he did.”
“So none of you are surprised,” Hudson said.
“Hudson, when I told you I didn’t know why JP was worried about you two acting married, I wasn’t lying,” Jaz said, sitting cuddled with Ophelia. “Honest to God, I have never met two more oblivious human beings.”
“I have been slowly dying since you two have met,” Shannon said. “I need you to know that. I’ve never actually written fanfiction in my life, but the two of you tempted me.” She laughed. “My Zoom girls are going to lose it.”
“They knew?” Alana asked.
“I had to tell someone, Alana, and I sure as hell couldn’t tell you.”
“Fair enough.”
“For formality’s sake,” Oliver said with a grin. “What did you call us all here for?”
Hudson stood up, and then, that sneaky bastard, got down on one knee in front of Alana.
“Shut up,” Jaz hissed.
“Fuck yeah,” JP whispered.
“Shhhh!!!” Shannon hissed.
“Alana Rose, you are the light of my life, and the best part of every day. I married you for your health insurance. Want to marry me for my life insurance?”
Alana burst into laughter. “Hudson, you butthead.”
He reached into his pocket, pulled out a small box, and flipped it open. “Want to stay married forever?”
It was a simple gold band, dotted with what looked like small emeralds.
A single tear rolled down Alana’s cheek. “Yes,” she said. “I’d like to stay married forever.”
Hudson slid the ring onto her finger, joining the original engagement and wedding rings. “Deal?” he asked.
She shook his hand. “Deal.”