Chapter 11 #2
She nods. ‘Makes sense. Maddy never goes home alone from Annabel’s. I worry sometimes, because a lot of these guys are super-entitled, and God knows what they might think they’re entitled to. It freaks me out.’
‘Exactly. The safety and the freedom go hand in hand. You can’t let go if you don’t feel safe. That’s at the heart of everything we do.’
‘So why the name Alchemy?’
I grin. ‘Gen came up with it. But we all agreed. We wanted something discreet. Classy. Kinky fuck club wasn’t going to cut it.’
She giggles again, and my grin widens.
‘The more research we did, the more it seemed the perfect name. It has gravitas. It suggests all manner of possibilities, and we loved that. We wanted our members to feel like they could arrive as one person and leave as another, that they’d been through something transformational.
‘What did the original alchemists do? They tried to turn one material into another. They looked at matter, and they didn’t buy into the idea that its fate was necessarily to remain that way for evermore.
I’d like to think we take that approach to humans.
Alchemists tried to create an elixir of immortality.
Why should we not attempt to uncover a greater meaning in life than the one we have served up to us by polite society? ’
I have her full attention. Those huge tiger eyes are on me, her lips slightly parted. One hand holds her champagne flute. The other clutches a bare knee that I am categorically not allowed to look at.
She exhales. ‘When you put it like that, it actually sounds quite romantic.’
That has me huffing out an amused laugh.
‘I don’t think anyone would describe what goes down at Alchemy as romantic.
But what it is… is transcendent.’ I hold her gaze.
‘Because I know you don’t know this for yourself yet, Belle, but trust me when I tell you there’s nothing more transcendent than really great sex. ’
That look in her eyes. That one right there. It’s desire warring with embarrassment, and right now, desire is winning. I’d hazard a guess that it’s winning to such an extent that she’s almost forgetting she should feel bashful.
Nope. I’m wrong. Dammit. She jerks her head downwards, away from me.
‘Belle.’
She glances up.
‘You don’t need to be embarrassed around me. I’ve seen it all, sweetheart. And it takes serious balls to do what you’re doing. Honestly, I’m impressed.’
‘I’m not embarrassed that you’re talking about sex.’ She picks at something on her skirt. ‘I’m embarrassed that I’m sitting here, aged twenty-two, and I have nothing to contribute to the conversation. It’s mortifying.’
‘Hey. It’s not mortifying. You’re dealing with it, remember? And there is nothing wrong with being your age and being inexperienced. The important thing is you’re taking it at your own pace. And you have the rest of your life to make up for lost time, if you want to.’
Even saying that to her creates a weird buzzing in my ears. There’s a shameful, patriarchal part of me that doesn’t want her liberated. A part of me that goes against everything we stand for with Alchemy and yet a part I can’t deny.
What would it be like if she wasn’t choosing to open herself up to the world of possibilities she’s been missing out on, in the most liberated environment we could possibly have created?
What would it be like if she took a different route? Dated a guy like me? Chose me to show her how transformative things could be between us?
How two people can become bona fide alchemists with nothing at all but their flesh?
I swallow.
Thank fuck Genevieve is on the case. Because she saw right through me. And this isn’t about me, or my desire to consume Belle. It’s about Belle, and awakening her desires in a way that goes far beyond me.
The last thing she needs is to get out of her fucked-up father’s clutches and straight into the controlling hands of another man who wants her all for himself.
A man like me.
‘How did you come up with the name Unfurl, then?’ she asks in a low voice.
I shake off my instinct to go full caveman levels of territorial around this woman and consider her question.
‘Callum wanted Deflower,’ I remember with a grin.
‘Oh no!’ She recoils. ‘That’s horrific.’
‘Seriously.’ I take a decent slug of champagne. ‘He’s such a twisted fucker.’
‘It’s so… Dangerous Liaisons. I can’t bear it.’
‘Exactly. It felt patronising, too, and not a little creepy.’
She laughs. ‘Definitely creepy.’
‘But, you know, he also suggested Fresh Meat.’
She shudders. ‘Bloody hell. I hope he was joking.’
‘I’m pretty sure he was. He likes to spout shit, but he’s a good guy underneath it all. And Zach’s suggestion was Explore, or something equally lame. That’s why we keep him to strictly spreadsheets only. My suggestion was Defile.’ I smile wolfishly, and she practically spits out her drink.
‘Oh my God,’ she splutters through her fingers.
‘A bit aggressive?’
She cocks her head, considering. ‘It’s hot.’
‘Hot?’ Now it’s my turn to practically choke. What the actual fuck?
‘Yeah. That’s what every virgin wants, really. Right? To be defiled. It’s the ultimate fantasy. Especially for those of us who are Catholic and messed up.’
Good grief.
I thought this girl was done surprising me.
Clearly not.
‘But it’s a bit on the nose,’ she continues blithely. ‘And yeah, it might scare off some potential participants, I suppose.’
I recover myself, but I’m reeling. ‘Yeah. So our branding company came up with Unfurl, and we all liked it. Again, it’s classy.
Discreet. And the act of unfurling feels noble.
Positive. And also natural. For a flower to unfurl its petals and showcase its full beauty is an inevitable act of nature and a wonderful thing.
That’s its destiny, and it’s something we should be celebrating. Not curtailing.’
She smiles dreamily. ‘I love it. It’s a gorgeous word. I’ve never really thought about it.’
Conversely, the prospect of having a front-row seat to the miracle that is seeing Belina Scott unfurled, seeing her mind and body opened up to the sheer force of the full power they possess, is something I cannot stop thinking about.
Not for one second.