Chapter 9
Doc walked back into the room just as Lily drifted off to sleep. He told all of us that Lily will have periods of being unconsciousness and awake and that it’s perfectly normal, he administered the lubricating eye drops to Lily’s eyes in hope they’ll help when Lily wakes next. Doc checked all her stats on the machines and said that Lily’s vitals are great and that she managed to be awake for a decent amount of time which is a really good sign.
Alexa was beside herself upset and wouldn’t leave Lily’s side even to have dinner. So, she’s wrapped around Lily sleeping and snuggled into her side like she’s been doing from the start. She too needing to heal her little heart, because not having the person you love really be with you takes a toll. I think Alexa being with Lily is the best therapy for them both, and I kissed my girls on their foreheads before heading to Psych ward.
Caroline is much better visually but her mental health is another issue. She doesn’t lose her shit and scream each time we see her now; the Psychologist is working with Doc closely and think they are starting to break through her damaged mind. Doc has suggested that Caroline being united with Lily would help her to trust, but there is always the danger of Caroline still harboring hatred for Lily because she was taken when she believes it was meant to be Lily kidnapped, so we’ve decided it’s best for Janelle to see Caroline first.
We enter Janelle’s room and her face lights up. Every time I see Janelle she looks more like Lily, but because Janelle and Caroline have been through some really hard years their resemblance is stronger.
“Hi, Alexander, Hi, Doc.” Janelle chirps happily with a welcoming smile.
“Hi, Janelle,” we both respond, Doc sits down in front of her and grabs her hands as I sit beside her.
“We have some good news, Janelle, Elizabeth has woken up and is doing well.”
“Ohh, that’s wonderful news. Will she be okay now Doc?”
“Yeah, she will, Janelle, Elizabeth is a fighter and will recover fully. I do have to speak to you about Caroline though.”
“What’s wrong? Is she okay?” Janelle asks in an alarmed voice looking between us with worried eyes.
“Physically Caroline is doing really well but I need to ask if you feel ready to see her? I think it’s important but only if you feel you are strong enough to see her, I feel that you are strong enough to see her and think that it’s time.”
As much as Janelle wanted to see Caroline eight weeks ago, she soon realized that she needed to work with Doc first and trusted him to choose when to see her children and what is best for everyone involved.
“I do, I’m feeling much more myself, and I think I can handle seeing Caroline.” Janelle says nodding.
“Good, I think you are strong enough now. Caroline is struggling to trust and open up we think having her family, especially Elizabeth with her would really help her.” Doc exhales a breath, “however, I need to know that Caroline isn’t going to blame or seek to harm Elizabeth, so I was thinking the best way is to have you spend time with her first. Balancing this is not easy, and if you feel like you need to leave you tell me immediately because I don’t want your progress to lapse.”
Janelle gives a small smile, “I know, Doc, you’re a good man and have only ever been so kind and wanted to help me and my family. I’d like to try, and I will be honest and tell you if it’s too much.”
Doc returns her smile, “Great, at any time you feel like it’s all too much we’ll leave because Caroline is going to be angry and will have blame and as hard as that is, it is also very understandable.”
“Yes, I can only imagine how she feels, I’ll do my best to make her feel safe and hope she feels my love.”
I lead the way to the other side of the nurses station where Caroline’s room is and when I open the door, I’m not surprised to see Tiny sitting in the corner of the room, he is here with Caroline most of the time. I’ve allowed it because Caroline does need to be protected, and better to have a steady familiar face than a multitude of different people. Tiny nods and I step over to him and take a seat beside him and Doc moves slowly toward Caroline but she shrinks back into the bed, still wary of him.
‘Hi, Caroline,’Doc says gently as he takes a seat next to her bed.
‘I’d like to bring someone in to see you,’ Caroline’s eyes shift to Doc’s and at first look hopeful but then wariness clouds her blue eyes.
‘Your Mom is here; she’d love to sit with you, and maybe you will feel comfortable talking with her. Would that be, okay?’
Caroline’s eyes widen and she nods slightly, then flicks her curious eyes to the door, I stand slowly and move towards it to let Janelle inside.
All I can hope is that their reunion goes well and Caroline doesn’t turn to violence and lash out. Janelle enters the room passing by me and when I turn around, I see Caroline’s face changing to bright red, she’s angry but Janelle rushes forward and just wraps her arms around her, and Caroline lets out one of those long soul crushing deep animalistic screams.
I look to Doc and he raises a hand and I notice Caroline isn’t fighting back she is allowing the touch of her mother.
‘Caro, it’s me, Mom, I’m here baby, you’re safe.’
Caroline slowly raises her arms and wraps them around Janelle awkwardly, we’re all just watching with bated breath.
‘These men, are good people, Caro, they have helped me and Elizabeth so much.’
At the mention of my angel, Caroline sobs.
‘I-I d-don’t w-want t-to see her, I s-shouldn’t h-have b-been t-taken, it w-wasn’t m-meant to be-be.’
My chest tightens at Caroline’s words, at what she believes. I step forward to let her know the truth but Doc shakes his head knowing I was about to correct Caroline.
‘Caro, no one should have been taken or hurt.’Janelle implores.
‘Elizabeth w-wasn’t hurt s-she was f-fucking home w-with you, w-while I w-was in hell with the devil.’Caroline grinds out, her voice vibrating with anger as she tries to pull away from Janelle.
‘I h-hate you, l-let me g-go, I d-don’t have a f-family anymore.’
Janelle lets Caroline go and hangs her head, the words obviously hitting Janelle hard in the next breath Caroline raises her fist to hit her mom. Tiny moves swiftly and is there in an instant catching her arm while she screams and thrashes.
“Leave, now.” Tiny says in a calm low voice.
I swing my gaze to his and can see he means business, I don’t argue and neither does Doc. Caroline detests Tiny always being with her but it seems as if they have bonded, she’s not fighting him really, just lashing out.
Doc nods and guides Janelle toward me and the door and just as we’re leaving, she turns around and says, ‘I love you, Caroline. You are allowed to hate me, but you need to know that it won’t stop me from loving you.’
Caroline screams all the air in her lungs and Tiny envelops her in his strong hold. I take hold of Janelle and tuck her into my side moving her out of the room, the poor woman is shaking like a leaf.
“Janelle, you need to know she doesn’t mean it, are you, okay?” I ask concerned.
“I’m… I’m okay.”
Doc steps in and touches her shoulder and she starts crying.
“You did really well, Janelle. I know that was hard to hear, but the interaction was more than I expected.”
“Caroline hates me, Doc.” Janelle whimpers.
“Caroline is angry, sad, and understandably frightened. I was surprised she allowed you to hold her, I know she said horrible things but she did let you touch her.” Doc says encouragingly.
“I couldn’t help it, I needed to feel her in my arms, I’m sorry if that was too much for her.”
“Janelle, you did what any mother would do, but it won’t be easy. Caroline has been away from you for eight years; the recovery of her mental health is going to take time.”
Janelle nods and we start back to her suite and Doc makes sure she is okay and comfortable before we leave, we do not want Janelle’s mental health to slip, she really has come a long way in the past couple of months, much quicker than we ever thought it would take. Doc did say it’s always quicker when the desire to get better and want to be well is there.
I wake to my belly fluttering and go to reach across to touch it but my arm won’t move, I look down and see black, my vision is still not perfectly clear but much better than earlier and I see Alexa’s little body curled into my side.
“No, Daddy, staying with Mommy.” She says sleepily.
It warms heart and makes me smile; Alexa didn’t want to leave me. It’s nice to know she wanted to stay with me and snuggle, I slowly move my head to the side but I don’t see Alexander.
I try moving my left arm, it’s stiff but I do manage to move it and when my hand touches my belly, I gasp. My belly is so swollen, how long have I been asleep? I didn’t ask earlier, I’m a little shocked but my smile grows wider.
My babies, our babies, they survived the car accident, I’m so grateful to whoever was watching over us from above. And twins just like Caroline and me, my thoughts swim in my head and I feel like there’s something missing from my memory.
“Mommy, you awake?”
Alexa’s sleepy little voice breaks through my scattered thoughts.
“Yes, sweet girl I am but we should be sleeping.”
It feels like it’s the middle of the night, Alexa uncurls from my side and comes higher to hold her little hand over my left cheek softly running her fingers over my freckled heart and looks into my eyes. I blink a few times trying to clear my vision and bring her into focus.
“I’m so happy, Mommy, I’s been waiting faw you to wake up faw so, so long.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t awake for you, Lovebug, and I’m glad you are here snuggled up with me.”
Alexa drops her little head to my chest and I feel her shaking with her sobs.
“I’m, okay, sweet girl. I’m here with you. I’m not going to leave you.”
“I wished so, so hawd to Mommy and Daddy that you wouldn’t meet them in the staws.”
I stroke my hand over her hair to try and reassure her and feel her little body shaking and it saddens me that I worried her.
“It’s okay Alexa, let it all out my love, you’re allowed to feel.”
“I’m okay, Mommy, I’m just so happy, I’ve been bwave, and wead you many books and dwawed you so many pictaws, I slept heaw with you evewy night until I was healed and could go home, but I missed you so I still had sleepovers a lot, I’m heaw maw than at home.”
“Thank you for reading to me, I can hear your speech has improved so your reading to me helped both of us.”
Alexa giggles, “I’m going to be a big sistaw, Mommy, I can’t wait, it’s vewy exciting.”
I smile because, Alexa is going to love these babies, “You will be the best big sister, ever.”
Alexa sits up on her knees beside my tummy and puts her little hands on my belly and rubs gently.
“I think they awe boys, Mommy.”
I giggle, “What am I going to do with boys, I only had a sister and you, I don’t really know about boys.”
“We will wangle them the same we do the team.” Alexa says all serious.
I chuckle this time and Alexa leans in to hug my belly and gives two kisses before she snuggles back into my side and looks up at me.
“We can teach them to bake, boys should know that stuff too and Daddy can build them a tweehouse, besides the team will teach them boy stuffs.” Alexa says mapping out a plan.
“You’re right, my love, boys won’t be so hard, we’ll wrangle them together.” I say with a giggle.
“I needs maw sleep, Mommy, I love you to the moon and back.”
“And I love you, sweet girl, ever so much.”
I stroke over the back of Alexa’s head as best I can, her soft curls giving me comfort and dream of one day soon having three little heads to stroke at bedtime, the thought makes me warm on the inside and genuinely so very happy.
Alexander and I are going to need a bigger house, with lots of room for our growing family to run around. The thought of two at once is a little overwhelming but I’m excited too, they will grow up being close like Caro and me.
I wonder who they will take after, will they look like Alexander? Or me? Or are they going to be a mix of the both of us. I’m picturing black hair and green eyes as I drift off to sleep because the Harrington genes are strong, like a force of nature, I drift off with a smile having my little girl securely tucked into my side.