Date Tuesday 3 January Time 11.10pm
My thoughts and reflections:
I actually watched another episode of Made in Chelsea because I couldn’t take the cliff-hanger.
After that, I was going to spend some time manifesting, but opened my laptop first to have a quick skim through my work inbox (as dedicated employee) and oh my god – how many emails?
It’s been Christmas! What these ‘emailers’ don’t get, is that by continuing to work when they shouldn’t be, they spoil it for everyone else.
I initially ignored the emails out of principle – they could wait for tomorrow – and checked whether there was anything urgent on the Teams chat because that one’s harder to claim you haven’t seen.
There wasn’t much – or much that was relevant now.
Cara, Non-Fiction Publisher, sent a general one to everyone in our team earlier today saying she was looking forward to welcoming us back in tomorrow.
Obviously a few fawners (Yaz, Nervous Jane) immediately replied because they have no lives.
And Sweaty Liam from Facilities had uploaded a fourteen-page joke of a document about health and safety in the workplace, which we’ve all got to read by the end of the week.
There were a few moans and people saying do we have to, but Cara intervened saying it was company policy .
Anyway, I can play the game with the rest of them.
I scanned through the health and safety document until I found a suitable sub-heading.
Then I posted on Cara’s chat saying I was so looking forward to seeing everyone tomorrow and that I’d personally found the health and safety document really helpful, and had particularly enjoyed the section on ‘monitor glare’.
Just as I was about to close my laptop, I scrolled up to the top email in my inbox and saw the name of the sender: Guy Carmichael.
It gave me a momentary frisson of excitement that increased tenfold when I clocked the subject line: touching in .
Had my manifesting already worked? I’d love some touching in.
I opened up the email and read it. Guy Carmichael was letting me know (along with the entire division) that with the upcoming merger, it was obviously a difficult time for all, and he appreciated my (our) support and commitment to Carsons, and that his door was always open.
Well, that’s not true. His door is always closed. He’s just greasing me up for a firing.
‘No,’ I reminded myself, flicking back through The Guide : ‘Negative talk will only take you to negative town, Alice. Come on, Alice – don’t erect those mental blocks – maybe this upcoming merger is an opportunity?’ I finished my glass of wine in a fortifying way, and shut my eyes.
‘I believe,’ I said. ‘I believe like the Universe believes in me.’
Then I repeated my manifestation about having a job.
And I imagined me walking into work tomorrow, bright and early, hair swinging, Lydia on security standing up straighter and beckoning me through, a look of respect in her eyes.
And then me up on my floor, the team gathered round my desk, taking notes, learning from me.
And then me and Guy Carmichael walking towards the lifts, going off for lunch together.
And then me and Guy Carmichael in the lifts and him turning to me with unrestrained animalistic desire in his eyes and saying, About touching in, Alice …
I opened my eyes and looked at my surroundings: if I could manifest this house in Chiswick, I could manifest more.
I’ve got this.
I have totally got this.
I am letting go of:
Saving the rest of this bottle – it does say ‘best enjoyed now’ and it is important to relax and unwind and get the full biodiverse benefits.