47. Will
47
Will
A lice stares at me from across my kitchen table. She’s gnawing on her bottom lip as if it weren’t my favorite mouth in the entire world but a slab of jerky.
“I’ve been trying,” she says.
I know she has.
“I talked to my uncles too. They encouraged me to stay. They know I love my job.”
I don’t ask what she told her uncles. Zoe’s the NDA police, not me.
“Good,” I say, reaching for her hand. “That’s good. They’re right.”
“But I’m going to give you away, Will. We both know it.”
I clench my jaw and grind my teeth. I’m not sure what to say to her. How can I tell her to ditch her integrity? How can I ask her to cover for me and feel any ounce of respect for myself?
I can’t. So, I don’t. I listen and beat myself up on the inside.
Because I’m also not sure how to live without her.
“If I stay?—”
“If?” I say. “You might go?”
“If I stay, I feel like it’s only a matter of time before I somehow give your secret away.” She peers down at our clasped hands on top of the table.
“I’m not worried about that,” I say. It’s not exactly true, but I’m more concerned with her at the moment. “Just stay.”
Her lips twitch and her blue eyes bounce up to mine. “I am worried, and I’m not sure?—”
“We’ll work something out. I know we can. You’ve given so much. It’s my turn.”
“I’ve made a mess of things,” she says. “I haven’t given anything.”
“You have,” I tell her. “Just let me think.”
T heo’s acting up. He often is. But Alice has chewed off four of her nails in this one meeting alone. I’m attempting to derail him—I’m not sure how much more she can take. And after our discussion about her leaving or staying, I’m pretty much a nervous wreck.
My two worlds are colliding. I’ve been keeping them separate for so long, and now there is about to be one giant collision. I’m not prepared.
I’ve always had a plan in case of crisis, but I didn’t plan on Alice. I didn’t plan on loving someone—ever. I’m not sure I realized I could. Love was often accompanied with heartache. And in some ways, I might have been right. Because every single time Alice questions staying or going, my heart physically goes through the motions of being churned through a meat grinder.
I told her it was my turn to give—and it is.
“Last night when I was talking to Billy,” Theo says, and another one of Alice’s nails is about to bite the dust.
“Hey!” I practically yell, taking a page from Alice’s book. “Speaking of Billy, I have a message.”
The team listens up, but Alice slumps further into her office chair.
I’m hoping this will help. I’m hoping she’ll sit a little straighter. That she’ll feel less of a burden on her back.
“About the press conference?” Mason says. “Is he coming?”
“Um.” I clear my throat. “No. He’s decided to demolish an office rule, though—the one that says no interoffice dating.”
“Will!” Alice yips from her seat. She jerks upright and tips, and just when I think she is going to end up on her rollie chair side, Mason catches her by the arm of her chair.
Theo chuckles, watching her. “Is there someone you’d like to start seeing inside the office, princess?” He winks at Mateo. “Let me check my calendar.”
“Theo,” I bark. “You’re an idiot. Have I really kept you around so long just because you are a whiz at search engine optimization?”
“Will!” Alice barks again, this time standing. She wobbles to the side for one second before righting herself.
“Can I see you outside?”
“That happens a lot. Can anyone say that?” Mateo asks, looking around the room. “Will takes Alice. Zoe takes Will. Now, Alice? I thought that was a boss move.”
Alice doesn’t answer him, just moves to the door, holding it open for me.
“What are you doing?” she spurts in the privacy of the hall.
“Oh, no closet today? Okay.” I shove my hands into my pockets, ignoring the stare of everyone else in the conference room. “I’m making life a little easier on you. We don’t have to hide our relationship anymore.”
“Will.” She groans.
“Isn’t this easier?”
“I don’t know what this is. Did I really spend an hour learning how to lie from YouTube last night just to have you break all your rules? What’s next?”
“What’s next?” I lean an inch closer to her. “What if I were to kiss you—here and now—with everyone watching?”
“Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”
“I’m trying to prove that you can stay. That things can be sort of normal.”
“Well, stop it!” With one finger, she pushes on my chest, making me stumble backward.