Chapter 4
The alcohol Colette had been sipping—copiously—suddenly hit hard.
The room spun, and she probably would have collapsed if Cade-with-the-gobbledygook-last-name hadn’t been holding on to her.
A guy who’d somehow managed to evade surveillance cameras, claimed to be an alien, and wanted her to help him hook up women with his alien buddies.
Utterly ridiculous. He paid for his stalking and lies with a slimy and smelly coating of vomit.
Gross, especially since some of it spewed onto her, but all that combined wasn’t the reason she almost had her first panic attack.
In the blink of an eye, her dimly lit office suddenly turned bright.
Had someone entered and turned on the lights?
A theory bashed when Colette noticed she no longer stood by big plate-glass windows overlooking the city but in a bright, windowless room with off-white walls.
A buzzing sound erupted along with strange moving lights that skimmed her body and left it tingling—and clean.
The puke disappeared, along with her clothes—and his.
A rarely silent Colette took a fraction of a second to glance around and take in her situation before exclaiming, “What the fuck? Where am I?”
“You are currently aboard the Bekke, the spacecraft assigned to Commanders Jaspar’uilla Var Jannu and Cade’krinno Mer Acadu for their mission to Earth,” a feminine voice replied.
“Who’s that speaking?” Colette shoved away from the naked blue man, who was even more blue in the stark lighting of the sterile space she found herself in, not to mention muscled in ways that might have intrigued if she weren’t discombobulated—the first time in her life she actually had a reason to use that word.
“The voice you hear is Beta 690, the ship’s computer,” Cade replied.
“Ship, as in space?” Colette couldn’t help the high-pitched lilt.
“It seemed best to orbit your planet rather than land and cause consternation amongst your kind.”
“If we’re in space, then how did we get here in the blink of an eye?”
“Beaming.” At her blank stare, he added, “Our cellular structure was dissolved, relocated, and reconstructed.”
“Wait, are you saying we teleported?”
“Yes.”
“That’s impossible,” she blustered.
“For humans, perhaps. But my species is more scientifically advanced than yours. I assume I’ve given you enough proof that I am who I claim to be?”
Even the skeptical Colette couldn’t ignore the evidence of her own eyes. Oh fuck. Colette felt herself swaying, borderline fainting, and yet, despite the weakness in her knees, she still slapped his hand when he would have grabbed her.
“Don’t touch me.”
“Try to not fall and injure yourself then. Our medical unit is undergoing maintenance at the moment.”
Her lips pinched as she fought past the shakiness of her limbs and mental state. “I’ll be fine.”
She hoped.
Being aboard a spaceship with an alien made her wonder about her safety. Everyone knew ETs liked to probe.
The reminder had her inspecting Cade, from his face to his chest, taking in the wide shoulders and muscled arms. So very muscled…
It might be rude, but her gaze dropped lower, past the V below his navel to his groin and dick.
Yes, dick. Definitely a boy alien. Cade might be a freakish blue, but his man parts didn’t appear abnormal.
No spikes or eyeballs. No teeth on the tip, or dripping acid, although his girth did widen her eyes. How big could it grow?
“If you don’t want to be touched, perhaps you shouldn’t be admiring my shaft.”
Heat filled her cheeks as he caught her inadvertently staring. Not used to being on the defensive, she resorted to attack. “What happened to your clothes? My clothes? Why are we naked?” It occurred to her only in that moment that she wore not a stitch.
The ship’s computer answered. “Given the level of soiling in the fabric, it seemed better to dispose of the garments.”
“You should have asked. Replace them at once,” Colette huffed.
“Of course.” Bzzz. A compartment opened in the wall and showed a stack of neatly folded fabric.
Colette snatched at the pile and hastily tugged on the smock top and pants. Cade took his time pulling on the bottoms but didn’t bother with a top. Probably on purpose, because he knew his abs would be distracting.
Clothing helped Colette feel more in control. She crossed her arms, put on her don’t-fuck-with-me face, and barked, “Why have you abducted me?”
“Hardly abducted. You asked for proof. I provided. As mentioned previously, I am here at the behest of our Oracle, who has asked for me and Jaspar, my travel companion, to forge a partnership with you that we might facilitate the matching of worthy warriors with human females.”
“Oracle, as in someone who predicts the future?” Her nose wrinkled.
“Sometimes. The Oracle is someone who can communicate with the spirits who have passed on, which makes her very knowledgeable.”
“And this Oracle sent you to me, specifically?”
“Is there another Colette Wilson at your coordinates?”
“No.”
“Then, yes, you are the person the Oracle claims we must treaty with.”
She couldn’t help but exclaim, “Why me?”
“Because apparently you are best suited for sourcing suitable females for our warriors to bond with.”
The archaic speech, while understandable, took a second to puzzle out. “You want to use my matchmaking service to find brides for other blue aliens.”
“Yes.”
“I have to ask, why bother using a dating service at all? You obviously have the technology to simply kidnap anyone you want.” The beaming had been quick and painless—if she ignored the vomiting.
“In the past, our warriors have appeared to those selected by the Oracle to forge mating bonds. However, that process has proven to be fraught with complications.”
“Such as?”
“Not all females respond well to the sudden appearance of my kind.” His wry reply went with his crooked lips.
“No shit,” she muttered. Look at how she’d reacted.
“It’s thought that if the females are given the choice to see if there is a suitable Xamian mate that the bonding will be more successful.”
“AKA, find women who wouldn’t mind blue dick.”
“Exactly, and who would be willing to bear progeny.”
The last part widened her eyes. “So, not just sex. You want women ready and willing to start a family. That’s going to be a touch more difficult.”
“Why wouldn’t they be ready or willing?” He sounded genuinely puzzled.
“Because not all modern women want to give up their career and freedom to be a baby-making machine.”
“But it is a female’s duty to bear young and care for them.”
“Wow, I can see why you might be having problems. So much misogyny in that one sentence.”
“I see our information packet on Earth did not exaggerate about how far from the true path your kind have strayed.”
Her gaze narrowed. “Meaning what?”
“The natural order has females nurturing, while males gather and protect. It is how a proper civilization works.”
She blinked. “You’re kidding, right?”
“Why would I jest about something true?”
“Ever stop to think maybe humans are the enlightened ones?”
“No.”
“Guess that attitude explains why your men are single, then. I can’t blame the women of your world for not wanting to get married if they all have such chauvinistic views.”
He stiffened. “Our females very much do want to bond. The issue is, there are not enough of them due to a virus that killed over ninety percent of our females.”
“Oh.” Not much she could say about that, so she switched the subject. “Are you married?”
“I have chosen to not bond, as I have no interest in forming a family unit.”
“Looks like we have that in common,” she muttered.
“You chose to not procreate?” Once more, his tone indicated surprise.
“More or less. I’ve never been interested in having children. Maybe I’d have changed my mind if I’d met the right guy…” Her nose wrinkled. “Actually, that’s doubtful. I like my life. I have a great career. Can do what I want, when I want.”
“Like what?”
The question stymied her, and it took a second before she blurted out, “I can travel on a whim.” She didn’t mention that when she did, it usually involved business.
Actually, make that it always had something to do with the company.
She couldn’t remember the last time she’d taken a vacation just for pleasure.
“You cannot travel with children?”
“It’s annoying.” Or so she assumed, having heard and seen the crabby, crying kids on planes and in airports.
“Your career is more satisfying than creating and nurturing life?”
“It is to me,” she hotly defended. “And seeing as your lifestyle is no different than mine, I don’t think you get to judge.”
“Fair point.” His slight smile shouldn’t have made her tummy flutter. “If you have no interest in a permanent bond, then why facilitate it for others?”
A good question. “I kind of stumbled upon matchmaking by accident, and it turned out I’m good at it.” Ironic for a woman who couldn’t claim she’d ever actually been in love.
“Which must be why the Oracle chose you to give us aid.”
“How does this Oracle know about me? Are the Xanadus spying on us or something?”
“Xamian,” he corrected. “And, yes, we studied your kind. We did so for many of your Earth years before we began mating your females to our warriors. However, the process is time-consuming for the Oracle, not to mention, not all the warriors have vocal ancestors capable of helping facilitate the matches. That is where your expertise is needed.”
“This partnership you keep mentioning, how would that work exactly? I assume you have a list of guys looking for brides.”
The computer replied. “My databank has a file stored with the information on eligible bachelors. Simply advise me as to a preferred output, and I can provide it that you might run it against suitable female profiles.”
“Yeah, it’s going to be slightly more complicated than that,” Colette murmured.
“You’re talking about matchmaking blue-skinned aliens.
It’s not going to be as easy as posting a headshot and women going nuts asking to get hitched and…
” She paused to glance at Cade. “I assume, since I’ve heard nothing of blue dudes on Earth, that the ones who’ve found wives take them back to your home world. ”
“They do.”
“So, not only do we need to find women who are open-minded to the concept of dating a completely different species, but they’ll have to uproot their entire lives, leave their family and friends. Will they have a way of communicating and visiting once they go?”
“I’m unsure.” Cade’s brow furrowed. “The Oracle didn’t really delve into some of the finer aspects of this exchange.”
An even more pressing thought hit. “What does the military and government know about your kind? Are they aware you’ve been visiting and taking women? Will they be okay with you being more public about your wife-hunting attempts?”
Cade cleared his throat. “They are currently unaware of our existence; however, the second part of our mission involves informing them of our presence and forging a peaceful alliance with the various leaders, since you do not have a single planetary governing body.”
“Don’t count on every country agreeing.”
“Why would they refuse?”
Had he not studied their politics at all? “Because, for example, if you align with China first, then most likely the United States won’t.”
“They are enemies?”
“Of sorts.” She paused then added, “If you had to pick and choose, I’d probably start with the United States, and not just because I’m American.
The USA is considered to be one of the top three global powers.
If you can get them to accept your presence, then a slew of other countries will follow suit. ”
“Thank you for the advice. Any idea on how we should begin the treaty with this United States government?”
She shrugged. “No idea, but I wouldn’t recommend just showing up in the White House. The president’s security team is likely to shoot you before they let you talk.”
“Sounds like I might let Jaspar handle it then.”
“Who’s Jaspar?”
“My partner on this mission.”
“Is he big and blue too?”
“What other color would he be?” Cade sounded genuinely puzzled.
“So the alien dudes looking for wives are all blue. Anything else they have in common?”
“They’re warriors,” he added.
“Not all of them,” Beta interjected. “Given this endeavor will result in a larger pool of eligible females, the list includes males who didn’t end up in the fighting ranks, such as clerks and merchants, as well as government officials.”
“Meaning a wider variety, which is actually better,” Colette remarked.
She had to admit to being slightly excited now that she’d gotten over her initial annoyance.
After all, she, and the company she’d built, had been chosen by aliens for what could be the most insane expansion ever.
Forget their current logo of No ocean too wide, no continent too small, to find your perfect mate. She could already see the marketing.
Find your true love, among the stars.
Cute and sappy.
Hunky aliens looking for women to colonize their planet.
Another possibility.
Choose blue and he’ll fly you to the moon.
Catchy.
As for the visual parts of the ad, she could already envision a shirtless Cade—or someone with holy-shit blue abs—against a galactic background, which gave her another tag line idea.
Ladies wanted as Alien Mates.