Chapter 20 #2
How could I make him understand? He could have been pulling me out of the water because none of his species swam and he thought I was drowning, or because this fish pond was some sort of sacred space to his species that I was desecrating, or because actually one of the fish was, in fact, deadly if I made contact with it.
He could have had a perfectly good reason for yanking me around.
Still, I needed to make sure it was because he was worried about me, and not because he was mad and was about to do to me what he did to those lizard jerks.
That was the problem with violent, murderous men, especially the ones you weren't banging - if you didn't know them well and had a serious long-term relationship bond, there was always the chance that they considered you disposable.
Even if you were committed, you could easily be in danger by doing something to hurt them, whether or not it was intentional or even true.
Even if we were banging, hurting me in any way was a serious do not pass go moment.
Hurting me meant we were done forever.
I held up the wrist he had bruised and pointed at it with the other hand.
"Oooowwwww," I howled out.
He sang out something else, stretching out both his hands to me, his tail lashing back and forth behind him like it had a mind of his own.
Ugh, I should have paid a little bit of attention to at least listening comprehension.
Not knowing any of the words was problematic. He looked so upset, but I didn't even know if that was the feeling associated with so many different body movements.
He beckoned me, a gesture that looked like he wanted me to come to him, then pointed at the edge of the pond and let out another string of song, his voice terse. He sounded almost panicked.
I continued to watch him, not moving.
He dropped to his knees, putting one hand on the edge as he reached out over the water towards me. There was no way he could reach me, but he had his hand outstretched as if he could somehow cross the distance.
The lights around the pond turned a darker pink, and he let a howl that seemed to come from his heart. It sent chills through me. It was the kind of noise you use when something absolutely horrible was about to happen.
He was crying out to me?
Was he begging me?
It certainly looked like begging.
I moved before I realized I was doing it, swimming over to him. I didn't know why it was so important, but something was clearly freaking him out, and though he hurt me before, it was to get me out of the water, fast.
Maybe there was a reason he wanted me out.
The lights around the edge turned a cool blue just as I drew close to him, reaching out my hand to take his.
He hauled me out of the water so fast I flew. He fell backward as he pulled me into his arms, into his chest, the momentum of the yank knocking him over.
I heard a loud cracking noise behind me.
He wrapped his arms around me and held me.
He pressed his face into the top of my head, and his whole body trembled for a moment.
I turned my head against the protection of his body to peek out from under his bicep as he stayed wrapped around me like a stage five clinger.
The pond wasn't there anymore.
I blinked.
It was still there. It just wasn't water anymore.
The pond was no longer liquid.
It was solid ice.
"Oh," I said.
His arms tightened around me.
I turned my head, cheek brushing against his bare chest. My hair was dripping. Small rivulets of water ran down, following the places where my bare skin pressed against his. I tilted my head back to look up at him.
His eyes were wide, and he was staring into space.
I reached up to gently touch his cheek.
He didn't respond.
No reaction from him at all - not an ear twitch, not a glance, just another full body tremble that shook through his entire body.
"Zale?" I asked, stroking his cheek gently.
No reaction again.
He just stared out at nothing over my head.
I glanced back over at the ice rink that had replaced the pond.
I could have died.
I couldn't tell from here how thick the ice was; it could have happened just for the few inches on the surface, but that freeze happened fast. If I had gotten caught in that with my head out of the water and my body in it - having my neck instantly frozen solid didn't seem survivable.
If I hadn't come over to him, if I had remained suspicious, thinking that he was trying to hurt me…
I could have died, and he was absolutely freaking out about it.
I meant something to him.
That, or he had some serious trauma that we had no way to discuss.
"Hey," I murmured, snaking my other arm up in between our bodies to cup his other cheek. "I'm right here. I'm still here. You got me."
I slid both my hands up the sides of his cheeks, reaching for his thick locks of hair. I ran my hands up until I reached my objective.
His ears.
I wrapped my hands around them, running my fingertips over the soft backs of them.
They twitched in my hands, and he blinked.
He suddenly came back to himself, looking down at me, naked and dripping wet in his arms.
As I stared at his broad shoulders and beautiful jet-black fur, the pent-up tension in me coiled like it was going to strike. I was comfortable. I was clean. I was fed, and I was safe.
I was in the arms of an alien man who took care of me in a way that no human man had ever done before.
A cat elf alien man who stopped when I didn't even realize I needed him to.
I also hadn't gotten laid in a long time.
After that experience with Arnina's ex, I didn't have any desire to date.
I hadn't even taken care of myself the way I normally would have.
That part of me had felt almost dead, like my insides were turned off and shut down permanently to even the slightest hint of attraction, like there was nothing that really could get me going even if I really wanted to.
I just decided it was because no guy was good enough.
But this guy, he was here, and he was more than good enough.
It wasn’t just about how he looked that was lighting my fire, but how he was treating me. He didn’t have to be this gentle and considerate. He didn’t have to stop just from my body language.
He was a bonafide gentleman, the like I’d never seen before.
He would be fine for an easy romp to get me out of my slump.
It didn't have to mean anything more than taking care of needs - my need to let off some tension, and his need to be distracted from whatever was going on inside his head.
At least, that was what I told myself.
There was a small part of my heart that felt differently. But that part had been locked away. It had been packed up and sequestered to keep my tender insides from being crushed under the weight of all the ice that wrapped around me.
I knew I was a woman with a lot of flavor.
Most of the men who came sniffing around me only wanted a little taste.
But that was fine for now.
I had no intention of getting attached.
I ignored the falsehood of my own thoughts, ignored that tender, terrified part of me that held onto the truth with a panicked clutch on reality - that I was already long gone.
I stared at the alien who held me in his arms.
The alien who had saved my life and delivered me my enemies' heads in a box.
The man who had reached out to me and begged me to save myself.
He was alien to me, but not to my heart. I didn't care what he had in his pants. I wanted to know him, to know all of him - if he would let me.
Holding his gaze, I slid my hand down his body.
I caressed the hard lines of his abs, letting my fingers play across his skin. I moved slowly, giving him ample time to know where I was going and to stop me if he didn't want me to.
He didn't stop me.
He held my gaze and didn't move even after I fully cupped the smooth space between his legs.
"You're not a Ken doll, are you?" I asked as I gently rubbed the outside of his trousers, searching for something more than what I was finding.
He still didn't move, his eyes absolutely fixated on my face, his breath slow and steady. Then, something shifted under my hand.
It was hard and long and squirming.
Oh, I had woken up all of him, even those extra bits I'd had a glimpse of when Arnina was getting down and dirty with her Boy Toy on the weird wall couch back in his tiny temporary apartment..
Zale suddenly burst into motion, jumping backward and to his feet, away from my touch like my hand had suddenly burst into the fire. I fell forward into the empty space his body left behind, catching myself on my hands. He sucked in his breaths between clenched teeth.
His tail lashed behind him, but his ears didn't go back.
"Is that a no?" I asked as I tried to say the last word in his language.
I had no idea how close I got to it. It was clear that the pitch and tone really mattered, but my ability to tell the quality of the sound coming out of my own mouth was limited.
So, to add to it, I held out my hand towards his crotch again, but didn't make any moves to close the distance between us or to rise to my feet.
I knew what I looked like at that moment.
Naked, dripping wet, kneeling at his feet and looking up at him, reaching for his manhood like a wild nymph risen from the sea, lusting and wanting her first taste of real meat - that is, if he even found humans attractive.
He let out a low growl.
Then he moved back over to me, took my offered hand, and pulled me gently to my feet.
He slid my hand into the front of his pants.
I grinned and reached down for what I wanted.
My hand wrapped around something thick and hot.
Tendrils slithered under my touch, one wrapping around my hand.
It felt strange and also warm. It vibrated, stroking along my wrist. The thought of what that would feel like in between my legs - heat rose in me.
I wanted to feel that. I wanted to feel all of him.
I let him know that by stroking him.
He let out a low groan as I explored with my touch.
I wanted to see him.
But I didn't get to.
He grabbed my forearm and pulled it up, spinning me around so that my back was to him. One of his hands went around my neck, holding me gently but firmly.
For a long minute he didn’t move, he waited.
Every previous time he had gotten even a little aggressive with me I’d frozen. It was clear he was the kind of guy who wanted to push hard. I bet if we spoke the same language he would tell me to be a good girl and throw me around like a doll. He was an aggressive, dominate male - that was clear.
At the same time, he was waiting.
He was waiting for me to stiffen, to freeze, to say no with my body rather than with my words. Just that fact made me burn even hotter for him.
This time, I gave him a yes.
I pushed my butt back against him, rubbing it against him.
His other hand slipped down into the front of my bare belly..
I gasped as he grazed my lower lips with his fingers.
He dragged his fingers through my wetness, and I moaned, rocking my hips towards his touch.
The hand on my neck slid up, took up my chin, and lifted upwards.
He bent over my tilted face. His finger slid into my slit, circling my number, but not touching it directly.
He held my gaze with his piercing green eyes, and I felt lost.
And I truly was lost.
I had nothing I cared about going back to.
The thought of never returning to Earth filled me with a strange mixture of overwhelming relief and uncertainty. I knew what it was. I knew I didn't want to go back to it. Being here was an escape from a situation I never thought that I would get out of.
Back home I had gotten to the point where I didn't know where to go to move forward.
Part of the reason I had put so much weight on rekindling my friendship with Arnina was because, at one point, she had been the kind of friend who always helped me see a path forward, even when I couldn't see it for myself.
But she hadn’t been that friend to me.
And I hadn’t been the friend who told her everything.
The image I had in my head of her was different than who she was.
But now, what I craved had changed.
Everything I wanted to run away from was light years away from me.
I was free.
I didn’t need to cling on to anyone. I could take what I needed, take what was being offered, and not anchor my sense of self into it. I was going to make the most of this experience. Even though I didn't choose to come here, I sure as heck was going to enjoy it.
I knew what I wanted.
And I knew how to get what I wanted.
I slid my hand down so that my palm covered his to hold him in place as I shifted forward so that I could step up on a small coffee table-like piece of carpeted furniture.
It lifted me up enough that my bum was level with his pelvis.
I reached back and grabbed his hips, and he moved to press against me, responsive to my touch.
That was good.
Having a man shift with the lightest pressure of my fingertips while he was this aroused was a big win in my books.
Every other guy just grabbed me and threw me around as soon as they thought they could.
The only ones who didn't were the ones who were paying for a dance and knew the bouncer would toss them out if I yelled.
Him letting me position him when we were alone with no one to intercede or stop him from doing what he wanted was something else.
It was something I craved.
I ground myself against him moving backward so that my ass rubbed up against his crotch as I pressed his hand harder against me. He let go of my face and dropped his hand to my chest, gently cupping one of my breasts.
I lifted it up onto the balls of my feet, then dropped my heels again, arching my back as I moved so that my ass ground against him, stroking him with the movements of my body.
He slid a finger inside of me.
It felt so good to be touched.
Finally, it felt good to be touched.