CHAPTER 10 #2
I desperately wish I could say all of that out loud, but I tend to come across as too intense. Too much. I don’t want to scare her away like I’ve done to so many others, but I also can’t let her continue to think these awful things about herself.
“You’re wrong,” I say, stopping in my tracks. “I was not kidding about you being my second-best friend.”
“Zarek, we’ve known each other for less than a week.”
“Okay? And I’ve had so much fun. I enjoy conversing with you, and you’re…
well, different.” I shrug. “You think so much about everything. From the people around you, to the history of humanity. And you’re beautiful, too.
I never thought I’d find so much beauty in humanity, and had I simply gone to Utah, I’m not sure I ever would have. I like you a lot, Ellie.”
I cannot tell if she’s relieved or startled.
“In a friend sort of way!” I add, in hopes it lessens the shock. “Strictly platonic, but just as genuine.”
She continues walking again, not saying a word, and an internal battle rages in my mind on whether I should say something, but I decide I better not.
The entrance to Villars Cave is up ahead, and Ellie’s energy softens as we get closer. She’s looking forward to this; her joy brings me joy. Ellie hands the front clerk her card, and she pays for our tickets before the guided tour commences.
We enter the cave, and there are mineral formations everywhere I turn. Some hang from the ceiling, while others stand tall and proud, coming out of the ground like columns.
There are a few groups of humans here, and we follow them as they politely converse in their respective languages. I recognize French, of course, and Mandarin, but I’m not sure what the third one I’m hearing is.
“What language is the group in the red athletic shirts speaking?” I whisper to Ellie.
She cocks her head, her big braid shifting with the movement. “I think Dutch.”
I nod my thanks, and we continue down until we reach a stone staircase. It’s incredibly steep, and I nearly trip before we find ourselves at a crossing in the cave system.
Our tour guide is a lovely little old lady, and I’m impressed she could make it down those steps. She begins speaking entirely in French, which is fair given our location, but confusing all the same.
There are three distinct passageways before us. She takes us down the right one, and we come up to a section with two pools of water.
Exiting that section, we make our way toward a cave room that can’t properly be described. Messy, chaotic even, with broken pieces of mineral and stone littering the floors. The guide explains what we’re looking at.
“Sallu de chaos,” the older woman, who is significantly shorter than Ellie, says.
I look to Ellie for the answer, and she confirms. “Chaos room.”
The French really take the whole naming thing kind of literally. Meanwhile, in America, they have caves called phrases like Nutty Putty. A ridiculous name for something with such a horrendous story.
We keep up with the rest of the group, walking through different rooms and passageways. I stare at the scratch marks on the wall for a little too long, and Ellie tugs at my shirt, gesturing for us to keep going.
When we reach a larger room, I watch Ellie for a moment, taking note of the feminine curve of her hips, and the way her knees sometimes buckle backward when she stands. There is a massive piece of stalagmite in the center of one end of the room, and Ellie stares at it in awe.
“What are you thinking about?” I ask.
“Honestly? This quote I read once in a classmate’s paper.” She looks at me and smiles. “Somehow, within the silence of caves and catacombs, I remembered how to be human.”
This human fascinates me in ways only flora have before.
The tour guide takes everyone down another passageway, where mineral deposits appear as though they’re dripping from the ceiling like melting candles, and everyone snaps pictures.
“Can we take a photo? For Jo,” Ellie asks, and I nod. Truthfully, I would do anything she asked, but this request floods my system with a rush of serotonin and dopamine.
Ellie hands her phone to one of the other women in the tour group, and we pose with our backs touching. The lady shows us the photo, and we both appear grumpy and awkward, like two rivals forced to stand next to one another.
“Can we retake it?” I ask, and the lady nods, her mouth forming a polite smile.
Walking up to Ellie, I pull on the rubber band at the end of her braid.
“What are you doing?” she asks, her tone agitated.
“Take out the braid,” I instruct her.
Ellie squints at me. “Fine, but it’s your fault if I look like a poodle.”
“Just trust me.”
She flips her head upside down, fluffing out her curls, and I can’t resist the grin that finds its way onto my features at the sight of her. She looks like a lion more than anything. Ellie goes to take off her glasses, but I shake my head.
“Leave them on. They suit you,” I say. Lifting my arm, I wrap it around Ellie, my fingers lightly gripping the side of her other arm. “Smile or so help me, I will turn off my disguise.”
We both laugh, but Ellie kicks the back of my shin. “In a way, I wish you were in your sapphiro form right now. I like the real you.”
I can feel the electrical pulses in her body as her heart rate increases, and I want to tell her I lied. I don’t like her ‘in a friend sort of way,’ and I wished I could take back those words the second they left my mouth.
The other tourist snaps the photo, and I begrudgingly let go of Ellie before we both express our gratitude to the woman.
Ellie is staring at her phone, her legs anchored to the ground as the rest of our group charges forward. “Okay, I sent it to Jo!”
“Cool.” I smirk. I want how I really feel to be obvious. “Hey, your heart was beating really fast.”
“Maybe I just have terrible cardiovascular health,” she says, and places her phone back into her bag.
“There are easy ways to fix that.” I wink.
I was hoping she’d banter with me, but she just looks angry, her brows pulled into the center.
“No. No, okay, stop with the emotional whiplash. You were flirting with me earlier, and you said all these wonderful things about me. Then you specifically clarified you meant it as friends, which is totally fine, by the way. I’m happy to be your friend.
” All her bravado ceases as her body deflates.
“But now you’re flirting again, and I’m getting mixed signals. ”
“Can I make myself clear?” My heart is beating a thunderous rhythm in my chest, and nervous energy festers at my fingertips.
She nods as I step closer, her mouth parting open. Placing a hand against the soft skin of Ellie’s jaw, the other finding its way onto her hip.
I don’t know where I gained the confidence, but I lean in and kiss her, and it is everything I could have ever dreamed of. She presses her body into mine, and I deepen the kiss. My body feels like a live wire. I want to embed this memory into every molecule in my mind.
“Veuillez regagner votre groupe,” the tour guide shouts at us, and I suddenly remember we’re in public.
“Do your other friends kiss you like that?” I whisper against her soft, perfect lips, before I break away.
Eyes wide and doe-like, Ellie is visibly stunned, before shaking it off. She quickly sprints toward the rest of our group, and I follow suit, dashing my way into what I hope is the final room.
Not that I can think about anything other than that kiss.
This part of the cave system feels more like a museum. There are paintings covering the walls. Some are of animals. A blue horse, a man, and a bison. Others are symbols, and more abstract silhouettes. Ellie takes her time looking at each one in complete and utter silence.
Which would not normally bother me, except that I just kissed her. My thoughts keep spiraling to the way her body felt in my hands, and how as much as I enjoyed it, I might have ruined everything.
“Ceci conclut notre visite,” the tour guide says when we reach the exit.
Following the other groups, we step outside, and the same dark gray SUV from earlier pulls up.
Ellie gestures for me to follow. “That’s us.”
We get into a car, heading for our hotel, and it is excruciatingly quiet, the tension between us is so thick it can be cut with a knife, as the Earth saying goes. And as much as I enjoy conversing, I’d endure infinite silence if it meant I got to spend my time next to Ellie.