Assistant 23
After Farr’vye finally left, I almost passed out.
I collapsed onto the broad leaves on the floor, breathing fast and sweating bullets inside my suit.
I couldn’t take this. I needed air.
Pausing, I strained my ears to listen for any motion outside.
When it sounded clear, I popped off the faceplate and took a deep breath of fresh air.
I took it a step further by pushing the hood back to expose my entire head.
Air tickled the back of my flattened hair.
My ears feel sensitive, as if I’d taken off a pair of headphones.
I sat there for a long moment and just… breathed.
My chest and arms felt clammy, but the thought of removing the rest of my suit repulsed me. It was safer to keep it on. Just in case that nosy Maeleon returned.
I scowled. Who was that Farr’vye, and what was his problem? Just thinking about him made my chest burn. My mind swarmed with questions that nobody but him could answer. And that wasn’t going to happen because I had no intention of talking to him ever again.
But then reality sank in.
We lived in the same small village. I saw him every day. On days I went into public, anyway. And we often sat next to each other at feasts.
I sat upright.
Hold on. When did that start happening? Am I the one sitting next to him by accident? Or is he purposely seeking me out?
The idea of Farr’vye choosing me like that was laughable. At least, it would’ve been before today. Now it was all too believable.
I let out a frustrated sound and rubbed my hands through my hair. My head felt full of steam, making me dizzy and obscuring rational thought.
“This is ridiculous,” I said under my breath. “He’s a total stranger. I didn’t even know his name until today. Why is any of this happening to me?”
And with a giant purple lizard-alien, no less.
I had to stop thinking about him. Desperate for a distraction, I grabbed the fruit from the table and scarfed it down.
The fruit Farr’vye brought to me.
I groaned through a mouthful of fruit pulp. This was another thing I hated about myself. Once a stressful event happened, I couldn’t let it go. Anxious thoughts clung like hooks in my mind, unshakable and maddening. It became impossible to redirect to less stressful topics.
I listlessly ate the remaining fruit until I was full.
Anxiety tightened my stomach and shrank my appetite, so I never ate much.
That was why I was so scrawny and weak beneath the suit.
Any muscles I’d grown naturally were long gone.
Not like I was ever an athlete, anyway. My talents laid in nerdy things. Linguistics, numbers, and hacking.
Things that were all completely useless on Eukaria.
There was nothing interesting about me. So why was Farr’vye so pushy about getting to know me?
I tried to stop thinking about it, which was easier said than done. Curling up in the back corner of my hut, I willed myself to fall asleep. Sleeping was less stressful than being awake.
But as I lay down and tried to relax, I noticed the body odor wafting out of my suit.
I wrinkled my nose in distaste. I’d sweated my ass off during that stressful interaction with Farr’vye.
I needed a bath, and my suit required laundering, too.
Smelling awful wasn’t conducive to blending into the background.
“How bothersome,” I muttered.
Washing was always a chore because I had to wait until the whole village was asleep.
I would creep away to the nearby waterfall, bathe quickly, gently scrub my suit, then put it back on as fast as possible.
The manufactured material was quick to dry, but even still, it was often damp when I got back into it.
Dreading the immediate future, I waited with my eyes wide open until darkness fell upon the village.
My heart pounded in thick, sticky beats as I skulked toward the waterfall.
Although I’d memorized the path by now, it didn’t make trudging through long grass and prickly plants any easier.
My old hazmat suit wasn’t exactly in the best condition, so I had to be careful not to tear any new holes in it.
I could only patch it up so many times before it became unwearable.
And I didn’t even want to think about that.
I heard the gentle sound of flowing water before I arrived. The rhythmic flow was relaxing. And by that, I meant it sheared off maybe five percent of my anxiety. But I’d take what I could get.
I caught my breath at the pool at the base of the waterfall. Then I carefully looked around. Aside from tiny gnats, no living things were in sight. Humans and Maeleons were my biggest concern, but who knew what else shared this planet?
Except for the peaceful water, all was quiet. My surroundings were empty.
I swallowed the lump in my throat as I pushed back my face shield and hood. Then I slowly undid the zipper on the front of my suit, shuddering as the cool night air caressed my bare skin.
Years ago, I had underclothes, but they were cheaply made and rapidly fell apart.
Only the hazmat suit stood the test of time.
As much as I hated to admit it, the suit was thinning and fraying, too.
But it was the only thing hiding my naked body from the world, so I did my damned best to take care of it.
The suit’s fabric pooled at my ankles. I stepped out of it, grabbed soap from the pocket, and went straight into the water. Ripples from the waterfall moved toward me in loose rings, but I tore my gaze away from their beauty to focus on my task. I had to be quick. The faster, the better.
Most of the time when I washed, I closed my eyes. I didn’t like to see my own body. I’d memorized every bony rib and limp muscles, so there was no reason to look. All it did was remind me of my inadequacy.
But closing my eyes made me susceptible. And paranoid. Once in a while, I’d peek my eyes open to ensure I was truly alone.
As I stared out into the dark foliage, I suddenly felt unnerved.
As if I were being watched.
Fear struck my whole being. My heart began to race, and the skin I’d just rubbed raw grew clammy with sweat again.
But I didn’t see anything—or anyone. Was I imagining things?
Ugh, I hate this…
I bit my lip to distract myself from the mental torture. I sped through my bath, then grabbed my suit. I did a half-assed job of washing it, but I didn’t care anymore. My skin prickled with hot nerves, and I wouldn’t be able to relax until I was back in my suit.
Time seemed to slow. As if in a bad dream, my movements took too long. I started to freak out. I had to get home immediately.
Crashing out of the pool, I shoved one leg into my suit, then the other. It was waterlogged—I was in too much of a hurry to even squeeze the moisture out—but I didn’t care. As long as I wasn’t naked, vulnerable, and exposed, I could handle any physical discomfort.
I’d just finished slamming my face shield back into place when the ferns rustled, and a massive shape stepped out.
It was Kookee. The big shaggy alien pet of that red Maeleon, Kur’tok.
Did my rational brain recognize that? Yes.
Did it matter? No.
Because my mind was on fire, I fucking screamed and ran away as if my life depended on it.
Terror soaked through me. I acted on instinct alone, more fear-driven animal than man.
Running in the opposite direction, I crashed through the dense foliage, pushing desperately past ferns and low-hanging branches in my attempt to flee.
Blood pounded in my ears. My own haggard breaths sounded terribly loud.
It was dark. I didn’t know where I was going except away. But as the seconds passed, and my brain caught up with my body, I slowed down.
Kookee wasn’t a threat. Kookee was a big, lumbering fuzzball who ate fruit and slept and farted.
My legs burned as I stopped running, hunched over and panting hard.
“Why… are you… so stupid?” I muttered to myself. “You’re afraid of a… freaking… cute furry animal!”
Then I realized Kookee was pretty far from home. It should’ve been safely in the village, not all the way out here by itself.
I chewed my lip harder. Was it my responsibility to lead it back? For a second, I entertained the possibility of not getting involved. That was the easiest option. But if I did nothing, and Kookee wandered off and got lost, or worse, I’d feel awful.
Sighing, I turned around and walked back in Kookee’s direction. When I saw the huge beast munching on leaves, a wave of relief washed over me. At least it hadn’t wandered off while I was running away like an idiot.
“Okay, big lug, let’s get you back home,” I said.
I patted Kookee’s dense, silky fur with my glove. It probably felt amazing on bare skin, but I wasn’t about to expose myself again, not after that near debacle.
Just as I gently turned Kookee around, I heard another crashing sound—and it was heading straight toward us.
I froze.
This thing was loud. And unlike Kookee, it was fast.
Oh, just kill me now!
My first instinct was to abandon Kookee and run. Again.
But even I had a conscience. If I let poor innocent Kookee get hurt while saving myself, I’d be torn up over it for the rest of my miserable life.
There wasn’t time to think. In a flash of inspiration, I grabbed the nearest stick on the ground and brandished it in front of us like a baseball bat. It wasn’t going to defend us from shit. It was more of an emotional support stick than anything else. But at least it was something.
In the blink of an eye, the foliage exploded, and a lithe purple shape leaped out. I screamed and whacked it over the head milliseconds before my brain caught up with my muscles, and I recognized the lithe purple shape of Farr’vye.