Chapter 11
LACHLAN
Fuck. I’m into him. Except I’m not allowed to be into him. My uncle would kick my ass if he found out I had thoughts like this, thoughts about a boy.
Dammit, though. I want this.
Him.
I want him. I really like this lanky dark-haired boy who wore indecent sweatpants with the pink waistband of his briefs peeking out half the day. I like his sunny self. I love his nonconformist style.
My mind is on a repeating loop. Ever since Isak said he enjoyed giving blow jobs, I’ve been thinking about how his plush lips and decadent mouth would feel around my cock.
I walked away because I was getting hard.
I stayed away from the cabin as long as I could, but it’s not like I have anywhere else to sleep.
And here in the dark, breathing the same air as Isak, I realized a few things.
Who am I kidding? I’ve thought about those things—namely, him—before tonight, but they were brought into sharp relief today.
How sexy he was at the ropes course, with a toned ass that I stared at as he climbed the wall.
The way his biceps worked as he pulled people over and held my hand to haul me up, surprisingly strong for how lean he is.
He felt warm and solid, pressed up against me on the platforms.
I never want to take off the friendship bracelet he gave me. I like it so much better than that expensive birthday watch.
And after watching him riding horses and teasing him at the campfire and then seeing him lying in bed, it all had gotten to be too much.
Except I went too far, trying to get rid of my permanent hard-on, and now my cheeks are burning.
Shit.
Caught.
“Carry on, we’re all friends here,” Isak says, amusement lacing his tone.
“Sorry,” I whisper, scrambling to save myself from further embarrassment. “I just, um. I, uh.”
“I get it. It’s no big deal,” he says as I fumble inside my sleeping bag for my briefs. I’d shoved them down, but now they’re missing. I’m breathing through my nose, willing my erection to ease.
“I did the same thing earlier,” he admits.
That makes my skin heat, despite the awkward situation. “You did?”
“Yeah, in the shower. It’s normal. All that sex talk kind of got to me,” Isak says.
“It got to me, too.” We’re quiet for a moment before I say, “Dammit, I can’t find my briefs.”
He chuckles softly. “Want some help searching?”
“Nah. Just give me a second.” Where the hell did they go? I didn’t kick them all the way off, did I?
“I mean … if you wanted … I could help you another way. No one needs to know.” Isak’s voice is a tentative but seductive murmur.
My heart rockets to supersonic speed. And my dick gets very interested. This might be my only chance to … do something. Experiment.
We’re all alone.
Fuck, I’m scared he’s going to take back the offer before I can reply. I want to say yes … but I also don’t want to say yes, because what if my uncle finds out? “I can’t.”
“I can’t” isn’t “Fuck no,” Lachlan.
“Sorry,” he says quickly. “I didn’t mean to pressure you. I’ll leave you alone—”
“No, don’t do that,” I blurt. “Please. Fuck, I’m a mess. I’m all over the place. Did you mean it?” I ask, my voice cracking.
“What?”
“That you like giving blow jobs.” I’m going to hell.
“Yeah.” He clears his throat, and then the cabin goes quiet.
My cock is so hard, and I still can’t find my briefs no matter how far down in my sleeping bag I root around.
The cabin is pretty dark, but I can make out his intense expression in the moonlight.
I’m really, really going to hell. “I … I’d be—” I fall silent, not sure how to say what I want.
Isak slides out of his sleeping bag and sits on the edge of his cot, facing me, seeming to understand what I can’t say out loud.
Uncle Norm forbade you from ever touching another man.
If you don’t touch him, though … maybe it doesn’t count.
“I’d be okay with it,” I finally rasp, throwing off the covers. My dick is so hard, it might punch a hole in something. My pulse races. I’m a live wire, about to zap someone. “Yeah, if you wanted to, um.”
“Okay?” Isak repeats, a note of incredulity in his voice. And, if I’m not mistaken, hope.
I bite my lip and nod, gripping my cock at the base. Then I realize he can’t see me well, so I say, “Yeah.” Now my dick is leaking, dripping down to my hand.
He straightens his shoulders, like he’s giving himself an internal pep talk. Then he murmurs, “Lachlan, do you want me to suck that huge, pretty dick of yours?”
“Fuck,” I groan, a delicious shiver racing through me. I throw my head back against the pillow. “Yes. Of course.”
Only now I guess Isak wants to torture me. “You know I’ve seen your cock before, right?”
I whip around to face him. “How?”
“We’re neighbors, and you don’t always close your shades.”
“I should be really embarrassed,” I say, “but I’m too turned on to care.”
“Then let me get the fuck over there and make you come so hard you’re like a falling star.”
“Please,” I whimper, sounding pathetic. I don’t care. I want this. I want him.
He climbs off his cot, puts a knee on my bed, and places his hand on my cock. His warm, rough hand. “This okay?”
“It’s okay. More than.”
I tremble again, my body aching for his touch. Aching for him to move, stroke. Suck.
As if he can hear my thoughts, he whispers, “I want so badly to blow you. You’re sure you’re good with that?”
“Yeah—yes.”
Moving so his body is poised over me, Isak opens his mouth and sucks the tip of my dick. Then he closes his eyes and smiles as he sucks harder.
His mouth is perfect. Isak is perfect. His tongue lingers on the little part under the head, and ohmygod. “Fuck,” I breathe.
He pulls off and glances up at me. I resist the urge to run my hands through his dark, tousled hair. “That okay?”
“No—I mean yeah, you’re good. It feels so … fuck.” I shift restlessly, wanting more.
“It’s about how I imagined it. You taste delicious.”
Wait, he imagined doing this? I need to ask him more questions, but he’s sucking me again, and damn, I want to pay attention. He’s redoubled his efforts, getting into a rhythm.
Words are spilling out of my mouth. “Oh, fuck. Please. Oh, god, fuck. That is so good. Please, please, make me come.”
This isn’t going to last long.
I hear myself whimper. Fuck, that’s embarrassing, but I’m too far gone to care. If I were standing, I think I’d fall down. I’m losing control of my mind … and my body. Pleasure takes over, so all I feel is this bliss.
“Dude, I’m going to come in two seconds,” I warn. “I mean, in your mouth.”
He shrugs.
Some part of my brain is still functional. “We get physicals for football, and I’ve always tested negative.”
Isak pulls off and licks the underside of my cock, swirling his tongue around.
In between long licks and sucks, he says, “I’m negative, too.
” He chuckles. “Very positive about blowing you, though.” He buries his nose in my balls and inhales, then licks them, massaging first one, then the other with his hands.
I laugh. “Me, too.”
“Your cock is gorgeous. I’ve wanted to do this for a long time.”
Damn. I love that he might be genuinely into me. I don’t know if I’m surprised. He never said anything, although I’ve always imagined an unspoken tension between us whenever we passed each other between classes.
My laugh turns into a groan as he sucks me into his mouth again, a finger starting to explore between my ass cheeks.
That’s new.
And I think I like it. But I’m so close to the edge, I know I’m going to explode. “Last warn—” I start, but he doesn’t pull away, and I come.
I come hard.
Fuck, he made me come. He made me fall out of the sky like those stars, my body quivering, my release pumping into him. Over and over again.
Isak looks up at me, and I realize not only am I panting, he is, too. Lips parted, he leans in to, I think, kiss me, but I move my head away.
Shit, I’m a jerk.
He tilts his head. “No?”
“No kissing,” I say, and his face falls, but he looks resigned. “Sorry, but I … I can’t.” I need to give him something, though. “You were amazing at that. Seriously, best ever. You have some skills.”
Words are inadequate. I feel like a total asshole.
“Really?” Isak asks. “Better than all those cheerleaders?”
I shake my head. “Rumors of my experience are exaggerated. I don’t sleep around as much as people say.”
I swallow. I should do something for him. It’s only polite. I’m scared to suck him off, though.
Maybe because it would cement the thing I’m scared to admit.
I can rationalize being sucked off by someone of any gender. A mouth’s a mouth, isn’t that what they say? But who I’m attracted to, that matters. At least to the voices in my head.
It doesn’t count if you don’t touch him.
I glance at Isak, who is standing between our beds wearing a T-shirt and underwear. He’s a little sweaty.
I am such an asshole. “Do you need to take care of … ?” I gesture.
“I came in my pants,” he says. I look closer, and yeah, there’s a wet spot in the front of his underwear.
“Fuck. That’s hot.”
He grins at me.
There’s a soft knock on the door. “Doyle!” a male voice whispers. “We’re going to TP the girls’ cabins. Get your ass out here.”
That’s when the panic hits me. Because, holy shit, what did I just do? What does it mean about me?
“Isak, you can’t tell anyone.”
He flaps a hand. “Yeah, I get it.”
“No,” I say more forcefully. “Really. No one can know.”
Isak’s eyes lock on mine. “I. Get. It. Don’t worry. I can keep my mouth shut.” He grins. “I only open it when it’s fun.”
“Shit,” I mutter, not hiding my smile.
“Doyle!” comes from outside again.
I call quietly, “Yeah, one sec.” I stand up, my dick soft against my thigh as I pick up my sleeping bag and dump it upside down. My briefs fall out, and I finally shove them on. Then I pull up the sweatpants I’d left on the ground and slip on my shoes and my hoodie.
“Go,” Isak says. “I’m fine.”
In the bathroom, I turn on the light, wincing at the sudden brightness, and check my face. I’m a little flushed and rumpled, but no one will know. Right? Deep down, I trust Isak not to say anything.
I smooth down my hair, wash my hands, and tuck my phone into my pocket. Then I plaster on a smile.
My mind is all over the place as I head out with the guys from the football team. I feel bad leaving Isak behind, but it’s not like we talk to each other anyway. Still, I learned one thing: Isak’s a dream come true.
I wonder if we’ll ever be able to do that again. He lives next door. It’s not like he’s that far away. But the gap between his house and mine might as well be an ocean.
It doesn’t count if you don’t touch him. Plenty of guys have another guy do this when they’re the only option around.
A little voice says I’m in the middle of a camp full of girls.
Fuck off, voice.
When my alarm goes off the next day, I’m tired from staying up late and pranking the girls. Josiah and Russ have still not shown their faces in our cabin, leaving Isak and me alone. And I have my usual morning wood.
In the early light, I’m not sure what to say to Isak, who I can hear moving around in his sleeping bag.
He blows out a noisy breath. It’s cute. I like sharing space with him. “Morning.”
“Morning.” I stare at the dusty wooden ceiling. How does dust stick to it, anyhow?
“Are we going to talk about it?” Isak asks.
“I mean, we could,” I say slowly, glancing around the empty cabin with a growing weight in my stomach.
Isak’s voice is low when he suggests, “Or we could just get off again. Fast.”
Even though I laugh, his words send more blood rushing to my cock. I really, really want to see his dick. There’s one problem, though. The cuts on my thighs are scabbed over, but they’re visible in daylight. Maybe if I’m careful.
“Okay.” In a flash, I’m crawling in next to him, both of us on top of his unzipped bag. This is the most compromising position I could ever be in, in my entire life, and I can’t stand how much I like it. Having his hard, sleepy body next to mine.
Be brave, I tell myself. Because I’m so fucking curious. In a flash, we’re both shoving down our underwear and reaching for our own cocks.
Ugh. It’s so good lying next to him, smelling his hair, feeling his skin. I like how warm he is.
My dick is fatter than his, but they seem like they’re about the same size. Not small, not porn star big. Mine is ruddier, but he’s leaking like a fountain.
My mouth waters. No, dammit. You can’t touch him.
Then Isak looks me in the eye and reaches over, asking permission.
I nod.
With his hand on my dick, using my precome as lube, he starts stroking me off while he turns toward me, his forehead on my shoulder, and ruts against my leg. Our breaths come faster and faster.
It feels.
So.
Good.
“Damn, you’re amazing at this. Yeah, more like that. Oh, fuck. I’m going to come,” I mumble, but rather than backing off, Isak leans down and takes my cock in his mouth. I keep my thighs pressed together so he can’t see the marks.
I last all of about five sucks before I’m coming. Hard. I want to run my hands through his hair … but is that too much? It is. My rule has to be that I can’t touch him.
“You can take care of yourself now,” I whisper. He nods, and I watch as he lies on his back, eyes closed, and jerks himself off, abs tightening, coming so hard it hits his chin.
He struggles to catch his breath, his come glistening on his jaw.
Then he turns toward me, and we both start laughing.
He wipes away the spunk.
Why do I want to lick his face? I shrug.
Isak looks at me for a moment with such fondness that it makes my heart do some weird gymnastics. But then he shutters his expression, a lock coming down like he can’t show me how much he wants me. Fair. I can’t show him how much I want him, either.
“We should get ready for breakfast,” I say. “You can take the first shower.”
We don’t talk the rest of the day. But I constantly toy with the bracelet he gave me.
And at night, when Josiah and Russ are in their girlfriends’ cabins, Isak gets on his knees for me again.
I don’t want to admit how much I love it.
We do it again the following morning, and again and again until it’s time to leave.
I can’t let this week be the last time Isak touches me. I need him.