Chapter 17
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Iwipe harshly at the betrayal flowing from my eyes.
I’ve poured my blood, sweat and now tears into this job.
Not every mission is going to be perfect.
We can’t always go by the script. If I hadn’t acted in the moment, we wouldn’t have the wolves or Maxim.
Does that mean nothing? I’m not ignorant.
I know Nyx is my partner, I know we make decisions together. Or maybe I don’t. I don’t know.
I just know we needed to get the wolves and that’s what we did.
The elevator doors chime open. Greer stands propped against the panel scrolling mindlessly on her phone. “Florence! I was just looking for?—”
I rush the elevator, slamming my arm into her neck, shoving her into the wall.
She sputters, dropping her phone to the floor. “Let me?—”
“No. Greer. You let me!” I push farther, her eyes rolling backwards as she gasps for air, then I pull her back an inch before slamming her again.
My ringtone blares from my pocket, but I ignore it.
Blood trickles down my arm as Greer digs deeper into my bandaged hands, hoping for her release.
But the blood only angers me more, reminding me of what I’ve sacrificed.
What she’s taken from me. My phone blares again so I use my free hand to pull it out. Cici. “What?” I shout into the speaker.
“Put her down and come see me,” she pleads. “I’m clearing the surveillance now.”
I shove it back into my pocket and put my forehead to Greer’s, slightly relieving some pressure so she can hear my words before she blacks out. “If you want lead so bad, you’ve got it. But how about next time? You. Earn. It.” I step back as she falls to the floor, clutching her throat.
The doors slide open, Bear and Cici stand there in shock as Greer stumbles to her feet.
But I don’t feel like talking right now.
I can’t. I hit “G” and kick Greer out into Cici’s arms before the doors fully seal.
I step back against the wall, squeezing my eyes shut, attempting to breathe. What have I done?
The bandage makes it impossible to hold my keys, so I fumble them into my teeth as the elevator dings.
I poke my head out, scouting the garage and listen for any sign of life to avoid.
Nothing. I sprint to Wayne, using my exposed fingertips to pull the handle.
This probably isn’t smart for my stitches but the ache in my heart right now by far outweighs the physical pain.
Wayne roars to life, idling as I scroll for something to drown the noise in my head.
I slap my hand onto the steering wheel, sinking farther into my seat.
I hiss, dropping into gear. Across the plain, the sun thins reluctantly into blue, bands of cozy yellow spreading across the hood.
The sunset seems tells me exactly where to go.
I slip my sunglasses on to hide the evidence of my feelings as I idle at the gate, the golden talons there glittering against the light.
I nod to the guards and wait until my tires leave the property before flooring it.
The evening air tears through my open window, clawing through my hair and wrapping it in knots.
My tires hum against the asphalt as the road bends and dips.
Each curve comes as quick and reckless as I feel.
I don’t cry. I drive, letting the engine scream what I can’t.
Red appears against the white bandages as I grip the wheel harder.
But I ignore it, twisting the nob as loud as it can go, letting nature enjoy Shinedown as it pours into my eardrums. I feel like a child right now, throwing a tantrum after having a privilege stripped away from me.
Ana’s not looking at it like I am. Yes, I could get myself killed.
That’s a part of our job! I have control over that.
I know I have Ellie and Todd, but they’re older now.
They don’t need me like they used to. Do my actions mean I’m selfish?
Guilt slams into me as I think of life without my own mother and how it has affected me.
And still does to this day. I just want to make her proud.
Was I wrong for choosing this line of work?
Because I felt like it chose me. Scott came to me.
I was so lost and broken… I slam my hand into the steering wheel again. Control yourself, Florence.
My children had just gone off to college, and I had nothing else to pour myself into.
To focus on. My vision blurs on the road as a familiar voice echoes in my head: “They’ll hate you once they figure out who you really are one day.
” Taking lead from me is stripping my power away all over again.
“You’ll never amount to anything.” All of Devin’s words begin to seep into my brain.
“You’ll stay stuck for the rest of your life.
” My breath staggers as I hear his voice.
The tires shriek against the asphalt, my head bouncing off the headrest as I slam to a stop.
The singeing smell of burnt rubber seeps into the car.
I can’t— I’ve got to get out, I can’t breathe.
“Look at you, Florence, you’ll always be weak.
” My throat constricts as ghostly hands slither around it.
I kick the door open, my sunglasses falling with me as I scramble out onto the pavement.
“When we get down this road, I’m going to kill you, Florence! ”
“Stop it! Stop it!” I sob. The knees of my pants rip, my skin burns as I skitter across the pavement, clutching my belly. Crawling from the figure of my past.
Solid arms haul me from the ground.
“No! Not again, not again!” I beat at the stranger’s chest, attempting to buck out of his grip. It only tightens, like a swallowing blanket.
An anchoring voice washes over me, “Florence, stop, its Nyx! It’s me! Open your eyes!”
But I can’t. My sobs break loose and his restraint tightens against my shaking body as I fist his flannel into my bloody palms. “Florence, I’m here— I’m here, it’s okay.”
His body begins to move, but my eyes stay hidden beneath my lids, too scared of the reality to be revealed once they’re open.
A door creaks open, and Ronnie Milsap faintly sings into my ears from the speakers.
He places me into a cushioned seat, carefully fastening a seat belt around me.
I draw my knees to my chest, burying my forehead into the road rash.
My ears prick at the subtle rev of Wayne’s engine, before the roaring suddenly dies.
The Jeep saunters as Nyx steps in, fastening his own belt.
A solid hand gently soothes the back of my hair, but vomit bubbles into my throat as I shrink against the door. He quickly retreats and another sob breaks loose from my lips. Why can’t I stop? I fist my shredded pants as the vehicle slowly pulls forward.
“You don’t have to talk right now, but I locked your car. It’s hidden between the trees so it’s safe.” I nod. A sniffle is all I can muster.
His tires whisper along the pavement in no hurry.
Usually, this would be agitating, but each mile loosens something in me.
Every curve gently carrying us along like a small stream.
I turn my head to peek out of the window.
Asphalt turns to rock as we enter a trail.
Pines stand watch on either side, the dark green cutting into the open sky.
Beyond them, the mountain glows softly, now brushed in gold and peach as the sun sinks behind them.
The path turns narrow along the hillside, leading toward the open valley.
My feet sink into the floorboard at the realization. “How did you know?” I whisper, wiping the snot from my nose.
Nyx chuckles, his elbow casually cast in the window of the door. “You think you’re the only one fascinated with this place?” The Jeep pulls to a stop as I splay my hands against the dashboard, in awe of the land before me.
It’s exactly the same as it sits on my wall. The clearing sits cradled between the hills, open yet held. Soft grass flows in uneven waves. And the lone cabin rests perfectly in the center… with a “for sale” sign.
I jump as my door swings open; Nyx lifts his palms in the air. “Sorry.” He backs away, allowing me space to get out. He reaches for the back passenger door, his large shoulders dipping in as he rummages in the floorboard. I kick off my slippers and warily toe the cold grass beneath my feet.
Nyx clicks the jeep door shut, holding a black hoodie in one hand and a mini first aid kit in the other.
“It’s just a scrape I’ll survive.” I mumble, fully planting my feet into the earth.
He exhales slowly. “What if I tell you I won’t?”
“Then don’t.” I huff.
“Good Lord Florence just—” His sentence trails off as I glare, waiting for the words. He sighs, his shoulders drooping. “Florence, please.”
I take the hoodie, slipping it on, and pull my tangled hair from the back. He softly smiles and bends down onto one knee.
“Uhhh.” My nose crinkles.
“Not a proposal, just a piggyback, Angry Bones.”
I roll my eyes, crossing my arms. “I have legs that work.”
He reaches out, snatching my wrist gently. “Then use them to climb.”
My body is too weak to fight, so I jump on, sucking in as much as I can to keep my stomach from touching his back. But he rises effortlessly and begins the trek up to the cabin.