Chapter 31 #3
Nyx spins around and pulls a small can of lighter fluid from the duffel, then dumps it onto the collar. “I think that’ll do it,” I mutter jokingly.
“You’re lucky I was too scared to bring the torch gun in my car,” he says, smirking at me.
I blow out a shaky breath, fixing my gaze back onto the flame that is now almost to my fingertips. “It’s hard,” I admit.
“I know,” Nyx murmurs.
I take one last look at the collar and then throw in the match.
The fire burned forever it felt like. We sat on the log, side by side, and simply watched. No words spoken between us. We watched as the flames consumed the leather piece by piece, every crackle sending spark twisting into night sky.
Only ashes and embers remain in the pit.
No collar to exist. Only the small metal loopholes that were sewn into it on the outside lived, but Nyx has already collected the pieces and refuses to tell me his plans with them.
I know they burned his hands as he reached into the flame.
I protested and even tried to pull him back, but Nyx persisted anyway, making his own choice in this ritual.
Slowly, I stand. The heat kisses my shoes as I inch forward and examine the ashes.
The embers crunch beneath my feet as I grind my heel into them.
A small laugh escapes my throat. I stomp again; this time the ash explodes around me with the impact.
I stomp again, and again, crushing every glowing ember I can find.
Like if I can destroy every last piece of it, maybe I’ll never think of it again.
I feel like I will regardless, but at least when I do, I’ll also think of this moment with Nyx, and what he did for me.
“Florence,” Nyx says, amusement creeping into his voice.
I ignore him and continue stomping, like a chaotic dance of death. A snort escapes him as I begin flailing my arms into the air, spinning on my heels. I kick one final ember and watch it disappear beneath the dirt. Then, I bow.
“Bravo,” Nyx laughs, clapping lazily. He meets my eyes from where he sits.
“Now what?” I ask.
Nyx sighs, contemplating his next move. To anyone else, he’d look unreadable.
Years of training made sure of that. But I’ve learned every crack in that armor, every subtle shift in his expression that tells me exactly when his mind is racing.
Greer was right, about the way leads grow close. I never realized it until now.
“I’m not sure what all Bear said to you the other night,” he says, his voice gravelly. “In my defense, I had no clue what he planned to say to you. I told him I needed to talk to you, and he sprinted past me…” Nyx winces, rubbing the back of his neck. “He knocked the waitress over on the way out.”
I snort, slapping my hand over my mouth.
Nyx pushes off the log, burying his boots into the ashes beside me. “I don’t want to ask anything of you but one thing.”
I nod, raking my hair around my shoulder as I face him.
Nyx’s chest rises and falls tenderly, his eyes glowing as he traces my face. “I’ve seen you. I’ve always seen you, and I’ve loved you exactly as you are.”
Electricity soars through my veins like we’re right back in that warehouse, leading together down the line of fire.
“I knew you weren’t ready then, you haven’t been for a long time, and it’s taken everything in me not to cross this line.
Not to reach for you when every particle of my soul ached has to. ”
I can’t help but tug my lower lip with my teeth, listening patiently.
“I don’t want to water you down, I never have.
You’re stubborn as a mule, Florence, you stand in the gap for everyone around you like it’s second nature.
I’ve admired that for longer than you know.
” He carefully takes my hand, rubbing his thumb along my knuckles.
“I know you’ve been hurt. I know trusting isn’t easy for you, and I don’t blame you for that.
I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, but you don’t need saving, Florence; you never have and you never will. I know that.”
Nyx brushes a strand of hair behind my ear. “But when you’re done holding the line, when you’re ready to rest, I want to be here. Not behind you, or in front of you. Just simply with you.”
I squeeze his hand as a tear slips free. “Nyx?—”
He shakes his head, voice raw as he cuts me off.
“I love you the way Torin howls at the moon. You, Florence, are my moon. The light that pulls me through each day. I’ll stand shoulder to shoulder with you, on and off the field.
You are the flame Miss Onida says you are.
If you want to burn, we’ll burn together.
And I won’t push you. I’m only going to ask one thing of you because I can’t hold it in anymore. Just give me one chance.”
He lifts my hand, brushing his lips across the scars. But it feels like they’re meant for the ones inside.
I suck in a sharp breath, ready to respond but his finger is already there, silencing me. He brushes his thumb across the tear, smearing it from my cheek. And turns without another word, leaving me with the choice in the ashes.