CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE #2
I hold her gaze as I turn her fully toward me, our noses brushing, my lips hovering over hers, close enough to steal another kiss.
“Talk to me,” I breathe, rubbing my thumb over her waist.
She shakes her head.
I frown. “You’re still mad?”
I don’t need her answer, though; the fire in her stare says it all. She’s still pissed.
“Then why the hell did you kiss me back?”
“So you could taste me one last time.”
What the fuck?
The words hit like a slap. I blink, stunned, and before I can react, she slips free and swims away from me.
“Enjoy the couch,” she tosses over her shoulder as she swims back toward the dock. “Ryan slept there last week and said it’s like a rock.”
Oh, hell no.
I swim to her and grab her by the hips, yanking her back against me again.
“Don’t swim away. Just fucking talk to me.”
She shifts, avoiding my eyes. Then, finally, she says, “You left me behind, James.”
Fuck.
The guilt slams into me, sharp and cold. I’ve been so damn worried someone might recognize me and see her with me on the road that I never stopped to think about how it looked to her.
“I know, baby. And I’m sorry for that.”
She looks up at me, her hands on my chest, not quite pushing me away, not pulling me closer either.
“Do you? My God, James, you always tell me before a scavenging trip, but today you just left without saying a word. And now I know why—it’s because you knew I’d ask to come with you, and you were gonna say no again.
I thought it was because of my ankle. I thought that’s why you wouldn’t let me leave the lake house. But that’s not it, is it?”
She pauses, eyes locked on mine. “We’re not going to Northern Lights anymore… are we?”
I shake my head.
“I had a feeling, but I was still hoping I was wrong,” she says, her voice catching. “It’s because of me, right?”
It guts me to say it. I want to lie, to tell her it’s not, but I can’t.
I nod.
“Michael knows? Lorelai? Ryan?”
“Yes. It’s the only way I know how to protect you.”
Her lips press into a thin line, and she stares at me like I just crushed one of her dreams.
“Shit, Sarah, don’t look at me like that.
” I run a hand through my hair. “Yeah, maybe you’re the reason I changed the plan, but this is on me.
I didn’t know they were after me. Being with me on the road was always a risk.
I’m an Outsider, and that alone puts a target on my back.
But Axel made it real clear: you’re the one they’ll punish if they find me.
They’ll do whatever it takes to take you from me.
But you’re mine. Mine. And I’m not gonna lose you. ”
Her expression softens, but the hurt is still there.
“I get that, James,” she says quietly. “I do. But I spent eighteen years in the same place, dreaming of seeing the world. I know the towns are abandoned. I know they’re nothing like what you remember as a kid, and now most of them are ruled by gangs.
But I still wish I could see them, even if it’s just the ruins. ”
Fuck, I wish I could give her that.
I reach up, tucking a loose strand of wet hair behind her ear.
“I wish I could show you the world, let you see it the way you always dreamed. But it’s not safe anymore, Sarah.
I can’t lose you. If I do… I don’t survive.
” I swallow hard. “If I’d been a minute late that day in the parking lot, Axel would’ve taken you from me…
” I shake my head, my voice wrecked. It’s hard to even get the words out.
“You never told me what he wanted to do to you… but I know.”
Her shoulders tense, and I know I’m right.
She’s never said it. Never had to. But the fear in her eyes after that day? I’ll never forget it.
“I messed up with a lot of bad people in Texas, Sarah. If they find out you exist, they’ll want a piece of you.
And to get it, they’ll do whatever it takes to break you.
I know their world. I lived in it. And I know what they’re capable of.
” I glance down at the burn scars on my arms. “My scars are proof of that.”
She wets her lips, staring at me for a long moment.
What’s she seeing? That I kept this decision from her for the past month?
That I haven’t stopped watching her every move since she twisted her ankle, afraid of the next little accident?
Or that I’m still scared as hell after that day in the parking lot, where I almost lost her?
“I know I’m being selfish, and it’s not fair asking you to stay here. And I’m really fucking sorry. I never wanted this for you, Sarah. I hate taking anything from you. But being on the road with me isn’t an option anymore. At least not if we’re together.”
Her eyes flicker, like she heard something she didn’t want to hear.
Then her hand touches my wet face, her fingers small and soft and warm against my cheek.
“James, I chose you, remember?” she says with a certainty that makes it feel simple, not even a question. “You’re a part of me. And I’m a part of you. I will always choose you.”
How did someone like her end up choosing someone like me?
I press my forehead to hers, drawing in a long breath, needing her scent like oxygen.
“Forever?”
“Forever.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the trip north sooner. But I promise, somehow, I’ll show you the world.”
She leans back and lifts a finger in front of my face.
“First,” she says, her mouth curving into a grin, “let’s cross off an old promise.”
I blink at her, confused.
“Where’s my chocolate?”
Shit, I knew I forgot something.
“I-I…” I open and close my mouth like an idiot.
Her eyebrows knit together. “James Hill, you spent all day in some old town, and you didn’t bring me any chocolate? You really want to sleep on the couch!”
I bite back a laugh. She’s hilarious.
“I’m sorry, I forgot,” I say, watching her pout.
She lets out a dramatic sigh. “The world is against me.”
This time, I laugh outright, because damn, she’s cute.
Then her eyes lock onto mine, serious again. “Did you at least miss me there?”
“I miss you everywhere.”
She searches my face, as if she’s trying to see if I really mean it. I don’t give her a chance to doubt it. I kiss her, losing myself in the taste of her mouth, the sweetness of her tongue, the velvet press of her lips.
She lets out a moan when I bite her lower lip, and fuck, I feel it everywhere.
My hand slips between her legs, gently parting them, and Sarah pulls away from my kiss.
“James, what are you doing?”
Sarah eyes me suspiciously before glancing back at the house. Candlelight flickers in the kitchen, and the fireplace glows in the living room, where Lorelai and Ryan are probably close enough to hear us.
But I don’t care. Let them hear. Let the whole fucking world hear how much I love this woman.
I tilt my head back, looking at the sky. The clouds are thick; not a single star in sight.
“I couldn’t get you chocolate tonight, but if my girl wants to see stars…” I press my fingers to her, teasing the lace of her panties with slow strokes. “…then I’ll give her stars to see.”
I grab her waist and spin her around.
“Put your hands on the dock,” I order.
She hesitates, looking over her shoulder at me.
I grab a firm handful of her ass, squeezing, loving the way her thighs clench in response.
“Hands. On. The dock.”
Slowly, she obeys. Her teeth sink into her lower lip, and her hands lift, fingers gripping the dock’s edge just above her head.
“That’s my girl.”
I let go of her waist, watching as she floats there, water holding her up while she clings to the dock. My fingers trail down to the waistband of her panties. I slip them down, dragging the soaked fabric along her thighs, past her knees, down her legs, until it disappears into the dark water.
I slide one hand to her bare stomach, my palm firm, keeping her back flush against me. My cock presses against her ass, thick and hard, letting her feel exactly what she does to me.
Her breath catches, and her skin prickles with goose bumps.
I move my other hand down, fingers brushing the inside of her thigh, parting her legs in the water. My fingers graze her bare pussy, everything slick and impossibly smooth under the water.
She whimpers at the first featherlight stroke, the sound barely formed before I slide a finger inside, deep, hitting that spot that shatters her.
Her whimper turns into a needy moan. But I don’t let her ride it out. I push a second finger inside her, stretching her, and she arches against me.
I keep her locked against me, my palm pressed to her belly. She sucks in a sharp breath, bracing for what’s next, expecting me to move my fingers inside her.
Instead, I slide in a third finger.
“Oh my God,” she gasps.
Her body shakes, legs trembling in the water from pressure and pleasure, and she moans loud enough to echo across the lake. The crickets in the grass don’t stand a chance at muffling the sound.
I grin against her neck, savoring her reaction.
“Wait until I start moving, little danger.”
She sighs, thighs twitching, trying to sink down and take more, but I don’t let her.
“James, please,” she whispers, sucking her bottom lip between her teeth.
I shake my head, lips twitching with dark amusement. “Not what I wanna hear.”
I barely move my fingers, just a slow, teasing press inside her—not enough, not nearly what she needs.
“I can keep this up all night, baby,” I murmur in her ear. “Unless you say it.”
Her grip tightens on the dock, knuckles turning white.
“Outsider… please.”
“That’s what I wanna hear.”
I kiss her shoulder, a reward for saying the right thing. Then I fuck her with my fingers, driving them deep inside her, stretching her open the way she’s been craving.
The water swirls between us as I move relentlessly, thrusting my fingers in and out of her with a rhythm that has her nails clawing at the dock.
My mouth follows, trailing kisses down her spine, savoring each shiver that rolls through her.