CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
JAMES
No sign of the Reed brothers.
I’d spent the last week out there, hours away from Sarah, trying to help the people Tyler had trapped in Denver. They really needed it. But the whole time, all I wanted was to be with her.
Even after Alicia and I managed to get some of them out of the city, I waited for nightfall. The shadows were my best cover. If anyone was watching, they’d lose track, never figuring out where I was headed… or who I was coming back to.
Every night when I got back to the fire station, Sarah was already asleep, curled up on my side of the bed with her arms wrapped around my pillow. She always tried to stay up, but she never made it.
But last night, for the first time, she was awake, waiting for me.
She looked tense, messing with the hem of her shirt so much that she tore a piece off.
I thought she was hurt, like maybe she’d had some little accident while I was gone.
But it wasn’t that. She’d had a bad dream… thought Tyler had found me.
Seeing her like that—shaken, scared—I forgot how tired I was. Forgot how much I wanted to sleep. All I could think about was calming her down, making sure she knew I was here, alive.
I kissed her over and over until her breathing slowed, until that fear melted away, and we made love. She fell asleep wrapped around me, and I haven’t moved since.
Now, I’ve been lying here for the last two hours, just watching her sleep.
She’s sprawled out beside me, completely naked, her skin still flushed from the way I made her come.
I can still feel her tight around my cock, the way her body trembled in my arms, the way she screamed my name.
The taste of her mouth is burned into my brain.
Sweet, warm, intoxicating. Like apple pie.
And I never want to taste anything else.
My gaze trails over every perfect inch of her bare skin. She has a few scars, not as many as I have, but somehow, they make her even more real. Proof that she has lived, that she is a survivor.
I’m not much of a smiler, but having her next to me in our bed makes me wanna smile all the time. It’s a weird feeling, but I fucking love it.
Her breasts are on full display, and I can almost taste them again. Shit. Now all I can think about is biting those perfect nipples.
I slide my hand over her breast, feeling the softness of her skin, my fingers brushing over her nipple the way I know she likes. It doesn’t take long before it works like a charm. She shifts in her sleep, pressing into my touch as a breathy moan escapes her lips, and then her eyes flutter open.
“Good morning, little danger,” I murmur, my hand still resting in the same spot on her breast.
She turns to me, resting her head on my shoulder, her green eyes finding mine. Then she glances down at my hand, watching as my fingers continue teasing her nipple.
A smile spreads across her lips. “Good morning indeed.”
I raise a brow. “What? They’re mine.”
“They really are. All of me is yours.”
Yeah, I could get used to waking up like this.
I grip her waist and pull her closer until her bare body molds to mine. The look she gives me is full of heat and something sweet. Something warm. Something that wrecks me just like the first time I ever saw her.
“You didn’t dress me this time,” she says, almost laughing.
Of course, I get the joke. It’s a pain in the ass getting her dressed every night when we’re camping out in the wild with Michael—no tents, no privacy—just doing my best to make damn sure he never stumbles across his sister naked beside me in a sleeping bag.
Especially after she passed out sore and blissed out from how many times I made her come.
But this time, I don’t bother dressing her. This time, I just watch.
“I was appreciating the view, baby,” I say with a smirk, letting my hands roam, touching every bit of her I can reach.
She tilts her head up, giving me a meaningful look. “Like that, huh? You should lick it.”
Sweet Jesus.
“Say that again.”
“Lick me.”
“Fuck,” I growl. “Who are you and what did you do to my girlfriend?”
She throws her head back and laughs, loud and carefree. Best fucking sound in the world. Then her eyes drift south, because I’m just as naked as she is.
I pause for a moment, just looking at her. She’s cute as hell. Her soft skin still smells like that sweet, flowery scent that always clings to her, and her blonde hair’s a mess, braids all loose and tangled from last night.
She still looks beautiful, though.
I take one of her braids between my fingers, twisting it absently. “You, uh, okay now? No more nightmares?”
She presses her hands to my bare chest, fingers tracing over my scars. “I’m sorry about that. I, uh… freaked out.”
“It’s okay.”
“I…” She clasps her hands together, searching for the right words.
“What is it?”
“I know what I said at the department store, and helping those people is the right thing. It’s just…
” She shakes her head. “I worry about you. You already have so many scars. And I don’t even know if they’re all from fighting as an Outsider back in Texas or from something worse, but they scare me.
I just don’t want you getting hurt like that again.
I don’t know what Tyler’s capable of if he finds out you killed the gangs working for him and that you’re still in his city. ”
I smile and brush a strand of hair off her cheek. “You don’t have to worry about that. We’re leaving tomorrow.”
She stares at me, eyes wide. “What? Tomorrow?”
“Yeah. Alicia and I are taking the last group out of the city tomorrow morning. Once that’s done… you, me, Michael, and Alicia hit the road. We’re finally getting outta here and heading north to Northern Lights.”
My jaw clenches, but I force myself to say it. “Sarah, I panicked back at the lake house. I fucked up. We don’t even have Ryan’s cars to get there now. On foot, it might take weeks, maybe a month, but we’ll find it. And when we do, I swear I’ll keep you safe there.”
“James, it doesn’t matter where we’re going. I know I’ll always be safe with you,” she says, then gives me a bright smile. “Maybe Lorelai and Ryan are already waiting for us there.”
“I’m sure they are, baby.”
I brush my fingers up and down her arm, watching her eyes light up with the kind of hope only she has. She sees what the world could be, not what it is. And that? That’s rare as fuck. The world still has beauty, but no one sees it anymore. No one except her.
The first time Michael came back from a supply run, he was carrying her in his arms, out cold. That’s when I knew we had to go north. Before that, I was scared. Scared that going north would put her in even more danger. That the road was too risky.
But after she fainted? After I saw her like that? There was nothing left to think about.
We were both wrecked that night. I couldn’t stop thinking about what I’d done wrong. And Michael? He looked at her like he’d let her down.
“She passed out, James. You were right. She never should’ve been in Denver,” he said, staring down at her on the couch.
“We need to pack for a long trip, Michael.”
“Northern Lights?”
I nodded once. “Yeah, Northern Lights.”
That moment sealed it. No more going back and forth. In the end, we both knew the truth. Sarah came first. Before me. Before him. It wasn’t just about keeping her safe anymore. It was about giving her a place to live.
And if there’s one person in this world who deserves a real home, a place where she can finally chase those wild dreams of hers, it’s her.
So, we made the decision. We were going north again. And if anyone on the road recognized me—if they tried to hurt her because of it? We were ready to go to war.
“How’s your shoulder?”
Her question and her worried eyes pull me out of my thoughts.
I rotate my left arm in a full circle to show her. “All in place.”
She smiles, but the worry in her eyes doesn’t go away.
“James, that time you told Alicia, ‘You can’t kill what’s already dead,’ what did you mean by that?”
I take her hand, running my thumb over her knuckles, thinking about how to answer that.
“Every Outsider’s been through something, you know? Some got hurt, some lost people they loved. Some got both. After a while, you just stop feeling anything. You start wishing you were dead, ’cause it’s easier than feeling nothing.”
“Did… did that ever happen to you?”
“Yeah. The scar on my chest, right over my heart… I got it the day my dad died. He died because of me.”
She looks at me, eyes full of questions. I know she wants to ask how it happened, but she doesn’t. I guess she can see it on my face that I’m not ready to talk about it.
She watches me, her expression softening. “You’re not just what you lost, James. You’re what you saved too. All those people you got out of Denver…”
I shake my head. “I didn’t do it alone. Alicia might be a new Outsider, but she’s got guts. She knows exactly how to cause a scene so I can get them out.”
“Still, I’m really proud of you.”
“And I’m proud of you.”
A little crease forms between her brows. “Me? Why? I didn’t do anything except sit in this fire station. These last days were painfully boring, you know.”
“You believe in me. In all this. I know being stuck inside the fire station all day sucks. And that’s on me.”
“James, I’m always gonna choose you. That’s not a hard decision, you know.”
“Fuck,” I breathe. “Now I want to eat you.”
“Then what are you waiting for, Outsider?”
I tighten my grip on her waist. “You have no idea how sexy it is when you call me that. I should make you come right now just for saying it.”
She gives me a knowing look. “You should… ’cause I was a very good girl this whole time. I didn’t go outside. Didn’t sneak onto the roof, not even once all week. The roof, James!” She throws her arms up dramatically.
Then her lips curve into something mischievous, and I already know what’s coming.
“But you know… I can still surprise you. Maybe sneak off for a little run to a store today without you knowing.”