19. Lennon
Chapter nineteen
Lennon
It’s been two days since I spilled my guts at Hayes’ dining room table. On one hand it feels good to finally open up about what I have gone through. On the other hand, it makes me feel really stupid. Weak. And then there’s Cash. I have never wanted to let him down, and I have. We haven’t spoken since he blew up, I have decided that when he is ready to talk, he needs to be the one to come to me. I met Shelby this morning at the diner before I came to work, and she apologized for the hundredth time. It isn’t her fault that Cash lost his cool, but if the roles were reversed, I would be apologizing, too .
Finishing up a phone call, I notice Travis standing at the end of the desk with papers in his hand. “Hey, Lennon. Got a minute?” Since I met Travis, I have had a soft spot for him. He has told me a little bit about his life growing up, and it’s eerily similar to what I have gone through. I can’t imagine going through that as a child. If my parents fought, they didn’t do it in front of us. They were best friends.
Like me and Hayes.
“Of course. What do you have there?”
The quiet man hands me what is in his hand and my mouth drops open. I talked to him yesterday about drawing a flyer for the move and the open house we are going to host during Pine Creek fall festival. “Holy crap, Trav! These are amazing!” A smile breaks out on his face as he stuffs his hands into his pockets. “But you didn’t need to get this done so fast.”
“I know that we need to get this to the printers and get them hung around town, so everyone knows. And it didn’t take me too long to get them done. Do you think they will work?” There is a likeness between him and I. People that we should have been able to trust left us a little bit broken. Unsure. But as Hayes has helped me, I am going to help Travis. In different ways, but I’m still going to help him. “Of course these will work! They are perfect! ”
We are interrupted when Hayes walks in and the phone rings. As I’m answering, he sends a wink my way while he and Travis head to the office. Of course, no one is on the other line. This is the fifth time today this has happened, but I am choosing to not let it upset me. I’m sure it’s Connor, but I don’t know how he figured out that I work here. Or how long he has been following me. I hang up the call and make a call to the printer regarding flyers. Once I have that done and the designs faxed to them, I tidy up the front desk, and hear Hayes call my name.
I find him sitting behind his desk with a mischievous look on his face. “Lock the door, sunshine.” I lock the door behind me and walk until I am between his legs. “Now what?” He runs his thumb along his bottom lip, lost in thought. “So many choices.” I squeal when he quickly stands, picks me up, and rushes over to couch.
“I missed you today. And I didn’t get my breakfast. I’m starving.” I left his house earlier than normal today so I could meet up with Shelby, but I don’t think I will make that mistake again. Hayes lifts my skirt and pulls down my underwear, his head going straight between my legs. He wastes no time and starts circling my bundle of nerves before two fingers enter me. “Hayes! Please! Please fuck me.” I don’t know where this person came from. The one that demands what she wants. I have never been that person, even before Connor.
“My girl needy today?” I reach for his jeans to unbuckle them, but he pulls back slightly. “Sunshine…I don’t have any condoms here. This isn’t a normal occurrence for me, but I will rectify that problem.” Shit. I surprise myself with the next words out of my mouth. “I don’t want anything between us, Hayes. I was tested when I came home, and it had been a long time since…since we had sex.” Did he just growl at me?
“First thing, I don’t ever want to hear about you and him together. Unless it’s something you really need to tell me. Something that you know you don’t like. Second, are you sure? I’m clean. But it’s fine if you aren’t ready.” I answer him by grabbing the waist of his jeans and pulling him to me. I laugh when he takes over, tripping taking off his boots. “Something funny, sunshine?” My laughter dies in my throat when he climbs over me, his strong arms on either side of my head. “You are going to need to be quiet, sunshine. Think you can do that for me?” I don’t have time to respond, because he enters me with one thrust that has me biting his shoulder. With the moan that escapes him, I think he likes a little bit of pain with his pleasure. I want to tease him about being quiet, but he picks up his pace, leaving me wordless. I’m right at the edge, but my whole-body freezes when he wraps a hand around my neck, gently applying pressure. But then he kisses me with so much passion and I find myself quickly relaxing. Hayes isn’t Connor. He isn’t going to hurt me. And I find myself liking what he is doing to me…no, loving it. “Let go, sunshine. I need you to go first.” He nips at my neck, and before I know it, we are both saying each other’s names like a prayer.
Once we catch our breath, he reaches for my face and pulls it to his. “Was I too rough? Was it too much? Shit...I’m so sorry, Lennon.” Bringing a hand up, I run my fingers through his hair. “Hayes. It was perfect. Nothing with you is too much. And if it is, I’ll tell you.” He narrows his eyes, like he is trying to figure out if I am telling him the truth. “I promise.” We lay together for another minute before he gets up and gets dressed. He looks around his office before walking over to his desk and back over to me. I know I’m blushing when he kneels down with Kleenex in his hands and cleans me.
I’m getting my clothes straightened out when there is a knock on the door. My eyes are wide when Hayes goes to the door, stopping to look back at me before he unlocks the door. The person on the other side of the door will know what was going on in here, but I can’t bring myself to care. I have never been this happy. I know without a shadow of doubt that Hayes is the person that I am supposed to be with. When we are old and grey, and hopefully watching our grandchildren, the reason I came back to town will be a distant memory.
Hayes cracks the door, making sure that the person on the other side doesn’t see me. I’m fully clothed, but I’m sure my hair is all over the place and my face flushed. That was some afternoon break. “Shit. Okay, thanks.” Hayes closes the door and walks back over to me. “Sunshine, you had a delivery.” I look up into his eyes, seeing fury. “Travis threw them away, but they were a bouquet of white roses.”
I bury my head in his chest, my body no longer relaxed. “Why is he doing this? What do you think his end game is?” Hayes tilts my head up so I can look him in the eyes. “I don’t know, sunshine, but I promise he won’t get close to you.” I can see the sincerity in his eyes, but that does nothing to soothe the anxiety that is trying to overtake my body. “I think I need to go stay somewhere else. A hotel maybe? I can’t have him doing anything to your homes.”
“No. You are staying with me. Let him come to my house, he won’t be leaving it in one piece.” He bends down to kiss me, but just as our lips touch, the office door opens with a bang and my brother walks in. Hayes goes in protector mode and stands in front of me, blocking Cash’s view of me. “Woah, man. I come in peace. Can I speak to my sister?” I reach out and grab Hayes’ hand, squeezing it to let him know that I want to speak to my brother. As long as Cash can keep a check on his temper, I should be fine.
“I don’t know, man, you ready for that?” There is an edge to Hayes’ tone, letting my brother know that there will not be a repeat of the other night. “I deserve that. And yes, I’m sure.” Hayes stares at Cash for a minute before he turns back towards me and gives me a quick kiss. “I’ll go check on the guys and give you some time to talk.”
The tension is thick once we are alone. We have never been in a fight. Cash has always been patient with me, even when I followed him everywhere he went. I sit down in Hayes’ chair behind the desk, not wanting to sit on the couch with my brother. That would be…awkward. “So, you wanted to talk?” I’m proud of myself that I didn’t immediately say I’m sorry , like I’ve done for years.
“Sis. Shit. I’m an asshole. I am so sorry that I said those things. Nothing that happened to you was your fault. I said those things out of anger. But not at you. At myself. I failed you, Lennon. Mom and Dad would be so disappointed that I didn’t protect you.” I know he means what he says when I find tears running down his face. I have only seen my brother cry when we buried our parents, he has always been the strong one .
“Bub, no. You did protect me. And they would be so, so proud of you. You have a family. A business. You took care of me. What happened to me was my fault. I should have left way sooner than I did. But I didn’t, and that is on me, not you or anyone else.”
“If I may ask, why didn’t you leave sooner? No judgement.” Oh, so we are really getting into it. I know that there isn’t any getting out of telling him my reasoning, but it’s going to make him feel worse. “Well, in the beginning, I thought it was a one off. Until it kept happening. And…I didn’t want you to have to pick up my pieces again. You and Shelby had the kids, and two businesses between the two of you. You guys had enough to deal with, so I thought I could handle it myself.”
“Oh, sis. I want to be mad at you, but I guess I understand. Are we good?” I stand and round the desk as Cash stands. I wrap my arms around my brother, not realizing how much I need my brother. How much I will always need him. “We’re good, bub.”
Cash needed to go to a service call because one of his guys called off, so I walk him out and go back to sit at the front desk. This day is mentally kicking my butt. I’m glad he came to talk to me because I’ve always hated fighting with people. I can’t stand it when people are mad at me. From the corner of my eye, I see my phone light up, so I pick it up, seeing that I missed some texts from the girls.
Shelby
Is it the end of the day yet?
Tess
I was just thinking that.
Shelby
I think every customer that has come in today, woke up crabby.
Tess
Then they must have left the diner and came straight here.
Shelby
Lennon?
Shelby
Ok, where are you, Lennon?
Tess
I’m close to the shop, I can head up there to check on her.
I’m here, sorry!
It’s been quite the day.
Shelby
Jesus! You can’t go radio silent!
I love that my friends care about me, but I didn’t realize that they would all become obsessed with my whereabouts. I know that they are worried, and I’ve leaned towards just burying my head in the sand about the fact that Connor seems to be in town and has taken to stalking me. But I am ready to move on with my life. I stayed for too long with him, and I have a good man now that I want to build a life with. And a sassy little red head.
Tess
I say today calls for tacos and margaritas after work.
Shelby
I second that.
Tess
Lennon, I’ll pick you up in one hour.
Shelby
How about this. Tess, go to the shop in an hour, and then I will pick you ladies up from there and drive you home?
Tess
Sounds good.
See you in an hour!
Alarm bells are going off in my mind. Shelby never offers to be designated driver. And she loves margaritas. And she is offering to not drink tonight? I think we all have a lot to talk about tonight.
“How is everything going at Linen and Lace, Tess?” Shelby scoops a spoonful of queso on her plate as she waits for our friend to answer her. I am so impressed with Tess. She is a year younger than Shelby and me, but like her brother, she has a mind for business. She opened her boutique last year, where she makes her own line of clothing, and she filled me in that her next collection is going to consist of sleepwear and lingerie.
Tess takes a large gulp of her margarita before glancing around the restaurant. “For the most part it’s good. I plan on releasing my next collection the weekend of the fall festival, and I’ve been thinking about looking to hire at least a part time person. Online orders are up, so I really need to get more hours of sewing in.”
“That’s amazing, Tess! I can’t wait to see the new collection.” Our dinners get dropped off, and we all dig in like none of us have eaten today. Tess and I share a look when Shelby takes a sip of her water. I turn to face my friend before I start questioning her. “So, Shelby, is there anything you want to talk about?”
My friend looks up at us and back down to her plate, picking up another chip. She slowly takes a bite, takes another drink of water, before she breaks out in tears. I am stunned, Shelby has never been overly emotional, but she clearly has a lot on her mind. I throw my arm around her while Tess grabs her hand from across the table. “Hey, Shelby. What is it? What’s wrong?”
Once she stops crying, she looks back up to us, but her eyes show me that she is tormented. “We said that we would be done at two. We have two businesses, two kids, and the house. We have a lot going on. We weren’t supposed to add to the chaos. I love my kids…so fucking much. But we were supposed to be done!”
I take the lead on the questioning. “Oh, Shelby. It will be okay. How far along are you?” She starts to cry again when she tells us that she is two months along. “What did Cash say?” That question brings more tears. “I haven’t told him.” She looks up, her eyes wide and filled with uncertainty. “I’m scared to tell him. He does so much, has so much going on. I honestly don’t know how he will react.” Tess gives me a look like she is going to continue to let me handle this one.
“Shelby. There is nothing more that my brother loves than you and those kids. I can help out with whatever you need. You need a night off; I have the kids. I can clean the house once a week. You are a far better cook than me, but I can help with that, too. Cash is going to be excited, trust me.”
“I was never this nervous to tell him about the other kids. He has just had so much on his plate lately.” She means me. Cash has been a bundle of nerves since I came back to town. I know I needed to leave Connor, but I do feel guilty knowing that I added stress to his life.
Poor Lennon fell for the wrong man and now she needs her brother to fix her. “Nope, I see where you went and it’s not you, Lennon. It’s a mixture of work…it’s mostly work.”
We finish eating and when we exit the restaurant, Hayes and Rosie are in the parking lot. Tess gives Shelby a hug first before walking over to them. I face my best friend, and we give each other a hug. “I love you, Lennon. Don’t think that Cash isn’t happy that you are home, or that he is stressed out because of you. That came out wrong. I’m going to tell him about the baby when I get home.”
“Love you too, Shelby. Everything is going to be okay. I’ll text you in the morning.” I leave her at her car and walk over to Hayes, who is waiting for me outside of his truck. I step into his arms and give him a quick kiss. “Everything okay, sunshine?” How this man knows that something is wrong without me even saying something, I have no idea. “I’m just ready to spend some time with my favorite people.” He looks like he doesn’t believe my answer, but lets it go after giving me another kiss and helping me into the truck.
We drive Tess to her car before heading to Hayes’ house. A place that I have started to consider as my home. During the short drive, Rosie asks me question after question about my night and what I ate for dinner. I’m glad that I only had one margarita; Shelby’s news slowed Tess’s and I’s drinking.
We get to the house and before bath and bedtime, Rosie decides she wants us to play a game. After five rounds of Go Fish, it’s time for her bath, which she requests that I am the one to give it to her again. I love that I am the one that she wants. I may have messed a lot up along the way, but loving this little girl isn’t going to be one of my mistakes .
Once her bath is done, I climb in bed with her, and we snuggle while I start to read. “You aren’t going to go away are you, Lennon?” I set the book to the side and pull Rosie in closer to me. “I’m not going anywhere, Rosie. Promise.” We lay like that for a few minutes until her breathing evens out, letting me know that she has fallen asleep. Hayes took her to the park while I was at dinner, so I know she was tired.
I creep out of her room, glancing back at the sleeping girl. She is too young to understand how much she means to me. How much she has helped me in such a short amount of time. I think about how even though I didn’t give birth to her, I feel like her mother.