22. Hayes
Chapter twenty-two
Hayes
I shouldn’t have left the house like that. Rosie was confused about why she couldn’t say goodbye to Lennon before we left, or why Lennon wasn’t coming with us. I told her that I wanted to have special time with my Ro Ro, and she seemed to accept it. I took her to the park, and we are now pulling up to my dad’s house. I played off this visit as to how fun it would be to see Pop Pop, and play with Red, but I really just want to talk to my dad. Rosie already has herself unbuckled by the time I open the back door, and she takes off running for the house.
“Pop Pop! Red!” Rosie runs inside before I step foot on the front porch. Growing up, I hated this house. At the time, most of the rooms were outdated, and try sharing one bathroom with two other people. There was a lot of yelling in the morning to get my sister out of the bathroom before school. My room was also the size of a shoebox, so I rarely invited anyone over. My dad has remodeled room by room throughout the years since I have moved out, but now that I am an adult, I understand the cost of updating a house, and why it wasn’t done sooner.
I find my dad on the back porch, drinking a cup of coffee. “Hey, Pop.” I force myself to sit down in the wicker chair next to him. “Son. It looks like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. What’s going on?” I let out a humorless chuckle. “Lennon broke down earlier. She feels guilty about the shop. She’s worried about that fucker hurting someone she loves. So, she said that she would figure it out. Figure out where she was going to go. She’s just going to leave. Leave me. Leave Rosie.” When my dad looks at me with raised eyebrows, I’m aware that my rant came out sounding whiny. Like a child.
“And what did you say, Hayes?” And this is where I’m going to get a lecture, because I know I didn’t handle it how I should have. “Son.” Great, Dad didn’t wake up with much patience today. “The doorbell rang, Cash and Shelby stopped by to see her. I got Rosie ready, and we left, went to the park, then here. ”
Sharp eyes swing my way and I brace myself. “Tell me you at least told her bye before you left.” I shake my head no. “Hayes! I did not raise a stupid man. I raised a kind man. A man that would do anything for the people he cares about. A man that was born to be a family man. You are telling me that the love of your life was upset. She voiced her concerns and had an idea. And instead of easing her worry, explaining that no matter what, you are in her corner. That together, the two of you would figure it out, you left?”
He takes a deep breath, but he isn’t done laying into me yet. He doesn’t need to continue; I already feel like an asshole. “That poor woman has gone through hell multiple times in her life already. She is scared, rightfully so. And even if we don’t agree with her idea of leaving, I understand it. If someone came to town, looking to hurt me or people that I love, I would think about leaving town, too. And you would, too.”
Shit. My dad, of course, is right. I would leave town, if it were me. To protect everyone I love, like Lennon told me. And then I went and let her down when I left the house. “Fuck.” I scrub my hands down my face and hang my head. “I know I fucked up, Pop. But as soon as those words came out of her mouth, I had to get out of there. It was like the walls were closing in on me. It was like a had a taste of heaven. Of how good my life could be and it was slipping through my fingers. She was slipping away, and there wasn’t anything I could do.”
“Son, you aren’t a stranger to life’s ups and downs. I wish like hell that I could have protected you from that when your mom left, but not everyone leaves and doesn’t come back. Rosie’s mother—” I cut him off. “Lennon is Rosie’s mother. She loves her like a mother should. She would do absolutely anything for Rosie.”
My dad nods his head in agreement. “That is exactly my point. The person that should have loved and stayed for Rosie left without a second thought. Now the woman you consider to be a mother to your daughter would leave town, leaving her heart here, to protect that little girl. And you.” I don’t respond as I sit there and digest his words. I know more than anything that Lennon would only leave to keep us safe. I look out into the yard and find Rosie laughing at Red, a small smile forms on my face, seeing her so happy. So carefree. My phone vibrates in my pocket, so I pull it out and cringe when I see all the missed messages.
Cash
I’m not one to get in the middle of people’s relationships…
Cash
But if I could punch you right now.
Cash
I’m assuming that there was good reason to leave without a word.
Cash
Or…ya know when my fucking sister was having a panic attack?
Shit. I really fucked up.
I go to the next unread message, hating myself more and more as the minutes go by.
Shelby
I used to know what kind of man you were, Hayes.
Shelby
You know what Len has gone through, and you up and left?
Shelby
She didn’t start having a full-blown panic attack until you left.
Shelby
Fix it!
Shelby
Asshole.
“Fuck! Pop, we have to head home. I have quite the apology to give. I messed up. Epically.” We both stand, and he slaps a hand on my shoulder and squeezes. “Rosie! Let’s go pick up lunch and head home and see Lennon.” She gives Red a hug and runs over to us. She gives my dad a hug and we walk hand and hand around the yard and back to my truck.
We make a quick stop at the deli to pick up sandwiches, and I was tempted to stop at the florist to pick up flowers before heading home. I tossed out that idea, remembering that her ex would bring flowers every time he messed up. Granted his mess ups were worse than mine…I hope. But I decide to get her flowers on random days, not a day that I screw up. Once I pull into my garage and get Rosie out of the truck, I brace for the worst.
The Bronco is still here, so that’s a good sign, right?
I’m left speechless when we walk into the kitchen and find Lennon on her hands and knees, scrubbing my kitchen like her life depends on it. Noah Kahan is streaming through a speaker on the counter, so she doesn’t hear us come in. I take in her leggings, my old T-shirt that swallows her whole, and the hair on the top of her head, and think that I have never seen anyone as beautiful as her. Rosie gets over her shock first and runs over to Lennon. Lennon pastes on a smile that I know is fake and gives Rosie a hug, while listening to Rosie tell her about seeing Red. My nerves come back when Lennon doesn’t look over at me.
“We hope you are hungry, we picked up sandwiches.” I start to lay them out on the island while Lennon grabs the paper plates. She cuts Rosie’s sandwich in half and puts some chips on the plate for her. We sit around and eat lunch, Rosie being the only one talking. She has so much to say, she doesn’t realize that both Lennon and I are giving her short answers.
Rosie eats half her sandwich, states that she is full, and runs off to the living room. Lennon tries to busy herself by wrapping up the abandoned sandwich, but I get up, and stand in front of her. “Sunshine.” Lennon starts shaking her head, letting me know that she really doesn’t want to hear the words coming out of my mouth. “Sunshine…Lennon, I’m so fucking sorry I left like that. I thought I was losing my mind when you said you were going to leave. It was like I couldn’t fucking breathe.”
Finally, Lennon cracks and looks up at me, biting her lower lip. “Hayes, even if I went that route and needed to leave, I would have come back. This is my home. You and Rosie are my home. But you say that you were losing your mind, so was I! I honestly never thought that Connor would have come here. I thought he would have just moved on. I just want everyone to be safe.”
I grab her hips pulling her closer to me, briefly looking over her shoulder to make sure that little ears haven’t joined us. “I know. I know you do. I love you so much, and it would kill me if something happened to you. Please just let me protect you.” She pulls on my shirt, pulling my head down closer to hers. “I’m not going anywhere, Hayes. I love you so much. It’s me, you, and Rosie. I promise.” With that confirmation, I lean in closer until we are kissing.
We break apart, breathless, when Rosie calls out for us. She yells that it is movie and nap time. Lennon laughs, but the look she gives me lets me know that I’ll be making up to her upstairs later. I will gladly spend all night showing her how sorry I am. How much I love her. I follow her into the living room, and back under the blanket fort, where we find a tired looking Rosie. It doesn’t take long before both Rosie and Lennon are both cuddled together, napping. The sight of them seems so natural. I take my phone out of my pocket and sneak a picture of them, before my eyes close.