Chapter 25 #3
“We’re all just downstairs in the casino,” I tell him, and it surprises even me how quickly I’m able to lie to him. There is no way I can admit I’m hanging out alone with Connor while I have no clue where anyone else is. “We were leaving you to sleep off all those tequila shots.”
“I’m going to kill those guys,” Liam groans. I hear him gulp down the water I left for him on the bedside table. “Can you come up to the room? I want you here with me.”
“I’ll be right there,” I promise him.
“Thanks, Addy. I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
When I hang up the call, I’m almost too nervous to turn back around to face Connor again.
He won’t like that I’m running off to be with Liam, that I put Liam first each and every time he needs me, because that’s how it should be with the man you’re marrying.
“Connor . . .” I murmur, angling toward him.
“I’ll walk you up there,” he simply says, but there’s a coldness in his voice that stings. It’s like disappointment, almost. It feels like my decisions are letting him down, and I hate that I’m disappointing him. “Let’s go.”
Connor discards our trash then reaches for my hand, pulling me to my feet.
We head for the elevators in silence. I should really tell him I don’t need an escort, but I know that our brief evening together is coming to an end, and a small part of me isn’t quite ready for that yet.
To say goodbye to the safe familiarity of Connor Lexington as I return to my pathetic little life of walking on eggshells around Liam Hartman .
. . So I let Connor walk me all the way down the long corridor to his and Liam’s hotel room, the tension palpable in the space between us.
Just as we’re approaching the door, Connor grasps my wrist. Pulled to a stop, I cast a look over my shoulder at him, my brows drawn together.
“We didn’t have our talk,” he says.
“Okay. Let’s talk,” I say with a nod of agreement.
Turning to him, I take an assertive step closer and hold my voice steady; the eye contact steadier.
“I’m marrying Liam, Connor. I’m marrying Liam because I love him.
I’m marrying Liam because we’re building a business together, a future, and because we’ve worked hard to get here.
And yes, he has his flaws, but so do I. I’m marrying Liam whether you agree with it or not, so quit trying to save me.
I’m not your responsibility anymore. I’d like to keep you in my life, because you mean a lot to me, Cons, but if you don’t drop this agenda of yours .
. .” I shake my head, my jaw clenched tight.
I know exactly what I wish to say—that I don’t want him around if he doesn’t surrender into silence—but I can’t bear the thought of ever following through with my word.
Connor maintains his composure, but his brown eyes are dark, heated.
“Flaws are things like always running late. Always interrupting people mid-conversation. Letting the pan soak all night instead of just washing it right there and then.” He tilts his forehead down, drawing his gaze nearer.
“Character flaws do not include backhanding your partner.”
My stomach lurches, and I can’t blame that rum-infused milkshake for it.
“You see, Adelaide? You can’t even hear it without flinching,” Connor says, nostrils flaring in between his deep, heavy breathing, like he’s holding back insurmountable frustration.
“You know this isn’t right. You know, and it fucking sucks to stand back and watch you think so little of yourself.
You honestly believe this is as good as it gets?
Liam and his short fuse? His misogynist beliefs?
Him bulldozing all of your hopes and dreams in order to achieve his own?
You deserve a man who makes you feel safe.
A man who’ll protect you, not hurt you. A man who thrives off your happiness. ”
Safe. Protected. Happy.
“A man like you?” I challenge, voice lowered to a whisper. On the other side of the wall, Liam is waiting for me.
The muscle in Connor’s jaw twitches and his eyes don’t dare leave mine. “Don’t choose Liam,” he says, and I hold my breath before he finishes, “but don’t choose me, either. Choose yourself, Addy, because you have enough dignity to know you deserve better. You have to want something better.”
“I can’t imagine what my life would look like without Liam. All of my plans . . .” I squeeze my eyes shut as my lower lip trembles. “I’m too scared to start over again. To rebuild. I’d have to leave the company, and my home, and—”
“And you have people around you who love you and will help you get through this,” Connor softly interjects, and his hand dips from its hold on my wrist down to my hand, his fingers caressing mine.
“You’re strong, Addy. The most strong-willed woman I’ve ever known.
You can’t just resign yourself to this life because it’s the easier option. ”
“But my parents have invested so much money in this wedding, and they adore Liam—”
“Are you not listening to me?” Connor groans, and suddenly both his hands are on my shoulders and he’s lowering his head to be eye-level with me, his expression one of complete and utter exasperation.
“Think about yourself, Adelaide, please. I am begging you. I care about you so fucking much and it’s killing me that I can’t get through to you. ”
There’s such a wild storm of emotions brewing in his pained, pleading eyes that all I can do is stand there in his grasp, staring back into the eyes of the first man I ever fell in love with.
Except he was just a boy then, and I was just a girl, and life certainly wasn’t as complicated as it is now.
My heart swells at his desperation and I feel tears prick the corners of my eyes, but I fight against the pressure with all my might.
I can’t break down right now, not when I’m about to walk through the hotel room door and into Liam’s arms.
“You know something, Connor?” I whisper, and a somber, sad sort of smile forms on my lips as I sniff, choking back those tears. “I fell in love with Liam because we both loved you.”
It’s like something inside of Connor cracks.
He closes his eyes, bites his lip hard, focuses on his breathing.
“I’m sorry I left, Adelaide,” he murmurs, opening his eyes to look at me again.
He moves a hand from my shoulder to my jaw, cupping my face against the warm palm of his hand and delicately brushing my cheek with his thumb like I’m something fragile, something too risky to touch.
“If I knew then what I know now . . . if I knew how things would turn out for you after I left . . . I’d have never joined the Marines. ”
“I really wish you hadn’t,” I whisper.
As tears break free, I press my cheek harder into his palm, leaning into his touch and overlapping my hand over his.
Connor rests his forehead against mine as his free hand moves to the small of my back, drawing me even closer to him.
I can feel that energy between us again, the same energy I felt the moment I laid eyes on him when he first arrived yesterday.
A lingering feeling that maybe my chapter with Connor never quite got the ending it deserved, a story still to be told.
Connor’s breaths intensify. He skims the pad of his thumb over my lower lip and it feels like my heart is going to leap straight out of my chest, but something magnetic holds me right where I am, unable to move, not wanting to move.
I glance up at him and he’s right there, his gaze latched on to mine, his mouth a breath away.
My eyes dip to his lips. Wonder how they’d feel after all this time.
Wonder if maybe Connor could save me, after all.
“Addy . . .” he whispers.
And I can’t fight it anymore. Closing my eyes, I edge forward until my mouth skims against his.
My breath is caught in my throat; I’m so terrified of the decision I am making, but I need to know—need to know if Connor Lexington was the right choice all along.
His lips fit so perfectly against mine, delicate and tender, and it feels like I’m seventeen again, kissing him for the very first time.
It fuels a fire inside of me, and that’s all I need to feel to know that I can’t marry a man who doesn’t.
“Wait, Cons, stop,” I croak. It takes all of my strength to say it, to ignore that overwhelming desire to kiss him deeper as I break the touch of our lips. Connor has always just felt right, but I can’t do this to Liam.
Connor remains exactly where he is, thumb still on my lip, forehead still pressed to mine.
“I know,” he says like it hurts. He exhales a shaky breath and slowly untangles himself from me.
He steps back, running a tense hand through his dark hair.
“Go check on Liam. You have my number. If things take a turn, you call me, okay? I’ll be busting down that door before you know it. ”
I can’t even respond. I’m shaking like a goddamn leaf, so I just nod.
Connor turns and heads back down the corridor toward the elevators, while I stand there outside the door of Liam’s room, shell-shocked and spiraling into despair.
What the fuck just happened? And why did it all make so much sense?