Chapter 15 #2
This is why we couldn’t be together. He can’t be my knight in shining armour because he’s struggling with his own demons, and my baggage would be too much.
It would drown him and he wouldn’t want any part of it.
Just like Dad. The thought makes my body stiffen, almost uncomfortably.
I push my mind away from the thought and towards the superficial, like muscle memory.
I redirect my mind back to my goal: medical school.
For the legitimacy of my experiment, he doesn’t tick off the traits on The List. He doesn’t have goals in the way that I do, he isn’t in school pursuing anything, whereas my entire life has been wrapped around academics and my mom.
Maybe, maybe he would understand what my Mom and I have been through, but as a friend.
A matchmaker. Not as a romantic partner.
I pull back further from him, seeing a flash of loneliness or maybe hurt skate across his features, as if he expected me to recede from him. I mentally shake it off knowing it’s for the best.
Faking a smile, I throw my hands together in a mock clap, “Don’t thank me yet, maybe I could play matchmaker for you!
” I poke him in the ribs, unable to stop myself from touching him.
Denying the physical attraction I have for him is a futile endeavour even when my brain tells me realistically, we wouldn’t work.
I physically move my body away to carry our plates to the sink and wash up. He follows behind me as if tethered to me with string, going where I go. “You don’t have to clean, Hoot. It’s my apartment,” he says with a similar tone of false amusement.
Are we both pretending to be okay when we’re not okay? Why aren’t we okay?
I bury the thoughts deep into a box to crack open later, maybe never.
I turn the faucet on quickly and begin sudsing up the dishes.
“You cooked! I clean. Fair is fair.” He relinquishes, arms up in the air in surrender.
Almost a real smile on his face this time.
Good, I like when he smiles. He’s got a sexy smile.
I blanche slightly as the thought runs through my mind. I chastise my inner slut. She doesn’t think with her brain and as much as I’d like to give into her, one of us has to be realistic.
Just as I’m about to say something to fill the tense silence between us my phone pings from the coffee table.
“Do you mind grabbing that for me?” I jerk my chin towards the cell phone, my arms elbow deep in bubbles.
Dominic holds the phone out to me and then realizes my hands are still wet.
“Just open it.” I say, praying it wasn’t Delaney saying something embarrassing.
“You sure?” he asks, eyebrows raised but holds up my phone towards my face.
“I consent.”My lips twitch in amusement as I glance towards my black screen, the facial recognition unlocking my phone swiftly.
As soon as the words leave my lips Dominic’s eyes snap to mine.
I still at the intensity I find in them.
We hold each other’s stare for a heavy moment before he lowers his eyes to my phone and clears his throat, opening the text that I had already forgotten about.
“It’s Delaney,” he says quickly, then reads over the text. He blinks several times as his cheeks burn an endearing shade of pink.
My brows furrow, “What is it?” I ask, drying off my hands, as he shakes his head and quickly passes my phone to my pruney fingers.
I look down in confusion and read the text thread between Delaney and me:
Hi Delaney, it’s Dominic. Celeste is here at my apartment after getting her tattoo. She’s fallen asleep and I don’t want to wake her.
I see that Dominic had not only dropped a pin to share my location but sent his own contact information to her and a detailed description of where he hid his spare key.
I beam at his sincere attempt to make sure my friend knew I was safe.
I look down and see what Delaney has messaged me back with this morning, my eyes moving faster and faster with each word.
Lane
Morning doll - tell Nikkie thank you for not being a creep.
P.S. Dominic if you’re reading Pinky’s texts, our girl has a praise kink and would totally do butt stuff!! Don’t forget about our double date tomorrow night! LUV YOU!
P.P.S. You know what they say, an orgasm a day…
My mouth hangs open and I’m frozen to the spot as I reread my best friend literally telling Dominic about my kinks.
I wish I could say I’m not as shocked with the ridiculous and outlandish things my best friend says, but here we are.
I shut my eyes and wonder what the hell I did in a past life to deserve this humiliating punishment.
Confidence, Celeste. It’s gotten you out of worse. Own it. No shame in your kinks!
I square my shoulders, take a fortifying breath, and look directly at Dominic who has a slew of emotions written across his face.
I don’t read into any of them, in fact, the only way I can look in his direction at all is to acutely maneuver my eye line to just above his gaze. His tousled hair will do just fine.
I clear my throat and raise my chin a little, “Well, maybe it’s better you know my kinks. It’ll help with finding me a greater match.” I wink for full effect even as my heart threatens to beat out my chest. Dominic turns away from me, both arms raised, fingers interlocked behind his neck.
“I’m gonna go shower. Do you need anything?
I can walk you back to your car once I’m done,” he asks hurriedly over his shoulder as he makes his way to his bedroom door.
I look down and realize I’m still wearing his shorts and sweater.
I’m not a sweaty sleeper, but last night I slept hard and there is a little drool stain on the cuff.
“Sounds good, and I’m all right, if you’re all right that I borrow these?
” I gesture at the clothes. Dominic turns to look me up and down with a pained expression.
Shit. He only offered these out of my desperation last night, they might be something he values and here I am parading around in them and asking to keep them longer.
“That’s fine—” he starts but I cut him off.
“I’ll wash them when I get home!” I blurt out. “Thank you again.” I try to put every bit of sincerity into my voice. He must notice, because his face softens and one side of his mouth ticks up in his signature half smile.
“They’re just clothes, Celeste. I care more about your comfort than a sweater.” He pulls a towel from his linen closet and strides into the bathroom. I hear a faint click of the lock turning into place.
It always throws me a little when he uses my real name instead of his nickname for me.
I don’t know why. It just feels less playful, more intense.
Coupled with his admission for caring about my comfort…
my hands run over my belly as if I can feel the butterfly wings flapping around inside me.
My ovaries would burst at the seams if Dominic made The List. I’m only human and I have eyes.
A hot man telling you he cares for you would send any single straight woman into heat. I sigh. If only he was interested back.
No! If only he met the expectations of The List!
I mentally scold myself while trying to sit on his couch without fidgeting, reminding myself why Dominic doesn’t qualify as a contender.
Loyal …To what? Me? No …maybe?
Tall and handsome…okay, big ass check.
Chivalrous, but manly…Hmm…
Honest, but in a kind way…Honest sure, but I’d say more brutally honest.
Can support himself, has his own place, and is financially stable…Check.
Goal oriented, at least one yearly goal and three lifetime goals…Not that I know.
Isn’t afraid of a smart woman…Based on his snarky remarks, check, rolls eyes.
Roughly my age, but no more than five years older…Check.
Intellectual - GPA higher than 3.0…Not enrolled. No, but reads a lot…of smut
Makes me feel emotionally and physically supported…
Before I let my brain answer that last qualification, I look at my phone for a distraction, but it’s almost dead.
I smother a yawn and tap my fingers on the couch.
I can’t sit still. I poke my phone screen again, the time reads it’s been less than three minutes.
I quickly lock it to conserve the battery for the ride home.
Knowing that Dominic is currently naked having a shower and that he cares for my comfort makes my brain feel fuzzy.
Any rationality I have screams to find the perfect specimen I’ve carefully crafted in my head, but my loins burn to make a move on the tall, dark and broody guy that cares for me.
My vagina is a treacherous little slut that has no will power.
My hands mindlessly run over the velvety cushion beneath me, sending shivers up my spine at the thought of his lips on mine.
I look down and jump from the couch as if it were lava.
I stand, hot and bothered with my arms crossed over my chest. I begin to meander around the apartment some more, the underlying urge to snoop rearing its ugly head.
It’s one thing to look around while he’s here, but another to do it while he’s not aware.