Chapter 26 #2
I quirk an eyebrow. “Oh really? How do you like your coffee now, then?”
“With you.” His voice is soft, vulnerable, but his gaze never wavers.
The smirk falls from my face as my lips pop open on a small exhale, caught off guard at his honest omission.
I have to look away, because his expression is too serious.
Too deep, too fast. I feel the air change between us as if I’m falling through different levels of the atmosphere.
No matchmaking or experimental dating between us anymore, we’ve landed abruptly in unknown territory.
I bite the inside of my cheek as I feel them flush a degree warmer.
I can practically predict Dominic tensing with an apology ready on his tongue.
I take a sip of my coffee to help settle my own nerves.
“So, this is awkward. And hard. But I wanted to apologize to you face to face for how I acted…the last time we were here, together, I guess.” He looks around as if the walls themselves betrayed him. I nod along, not wanting to interrupt.
“Here it goes,” he continues, clenching and unclenching his fist, then clearing his throat.
“I was content before you, content in my mundane and frankly mediocre life. Then you…you showed me brilliance. A joy for life that I haven’t seen before.
A living, breathing silver lining of the monotonous day to day.
You make me want to be better—the best version of myself.
That day…” He sighs looking down into his hands, his voice laced with guilt.
“I wasn’t the best version of myself. Hell, I wasn’t even a likeable version of myself.
I’m truly sorry for snapping at you. It wasn’t your fault in the least. I just,” he pauses again, closing his eyes as he exhales deeply. “I was jealous.”
Wait, what?
“It wasn’t fair to direct that jealousy toward you, especially considering we weren’t together.” He looks up to me quickly as if to assess my reaction. I try to keep my face as neutral as possible.
I honestly wouldn’t have guessed his reaction that day to stem from a place of jealousy. “You’re right, it wasn’t fair. But I had been on dates before, why Jude?” I ask, my tone more clipped than I expected.
“It was more so hearing that you had accepted a second date with him. It made the possibility of you two getting together more real and I just lost it.” He rubs a hand on the back of his neck, brows drawn together.
Still, I try not to say anything. giving him the space to finish what he needs to say.
Whether he deserves it or not. Even if I’ve already forgiven him.
“Hoot, I saw a future of you and Jude together, and it didn’t involve me.
And I don’t want that, in any capacity. If you only want to be friends, I will respect that.
Any boundaries, I will respect them. But I think the jealousy, the feeling I had when I imagined you and Jude together, is because I have feelings for you Celeste.
I was mad because I want to be the one to take you on dates, hold your hand, and call you mine. ”
My breath is stuck in my throat and I sit absolutely motionless, frozen by his words.
I open my mouth to respond when an alarm goes off on my phone, jolting me out of the moment.
I pull it from my coat pocket and realize I have to leave within the next five minutes in order to make it to the library for my tutoring session.
“I’m sorry,” I say looking up at Dominic’s face, who looks as if I just ran over his puppy. I move to stand, turning to grab my coat when his hand rests gently on my arm, pausing me.
“Wait, Hoot. Just, if there’s more, if you feel for me what I think you feel for me, please meet me again. I know this is a lot to unpack on you but if you’re willing, come back here Saturday night at nine. I will show you just how invested I am.”
I give a quick nod, more so in confirmation that I heard him than in agreement to see him again.
The nickname he’d given me all those weeks ago and the pleading tone in his voice tug at my heartstrings.
Before I say something stupid, I rush out of Biblio & Brew, indecision roiling in my gut and my heart fluttering in my chest like a lost hummingbird.
I expected him to apologize for his outburst, sure, but to confess his feelings for me?
As I drive across campus towards the library my stomach churns with a mix of emotions.
I feel blindsided by his confession, a sense of ease at being able to sit down and be near him, and…
elation at what he confessed? I don’t have the bandwidth to think further on what I feel or try to sort them all out right now.
I park my car outside the library, watching as tiny droplets begin to hit the windshield.
I place bets on which droplet will reach the bottom of the glass first, trying to clear my head for tutoring.
No matter how many droplets speed their way down my window, my thoughts hover over the same indecision.
What am I going to do? I have two minutes before I need to go inside and I can’t get Dominic out of my head.
I let my forehead fall onto my steering wheel, blaring the horn on my car.
How the hell am I going to get through this tutoring session?