Chapter Thirty-Six
Walker
Walker couldn’t settle on his own. Alex was out at band practice, and he was rattling round the house.
He couldn’t even find Fatboy Jim for a cuddle.
He presumed Etienne would be with Isabella in a love bubble somewhere, so he messaged Fox and headed round in the early evening light before he went stir crazy.
Ever since he’d watched Gabi walk away on the riverbank at the weekend, his emotions had been up and down like a yoyo.
One minute he hurt afresh, remembering the fact he’d spilled his guts to her and she’d walked away.
The next minute kicking himself he had turned down no-strings-attached, undoubtedly incredibly hot sex with Gabi.
He tried throwing himself into work, but nothing was making him feel any better.
Now he was hoping a tikka masala and onion bhaji with one of his best mates might do the trick.
He could hear that Reggie and George were still awake as Fox opened the front door, his silver quiff stuck up at all angles.
‘Got the curry?’ Fox asked and Walker held up two bags of takeaway, hot and fragrant, that he’d picked up from the local Indian restaurant.
Fox took one of the bags from him, and offered him a fist bump before Walker followed him in the front door.
As they passed the front room, Walker waved through to the boys who were making a den on the floor with cushions.
Fox might have won the battle of getting them into rocket-covered pyjamas, but he’d lost the war of wrestling them into bed.
‘Ten-minute reprieve!’ Fox shouted in defeat and both boys cheered. Fox swung open the kitchen door and Walker saw Etienne also there, looking like his love bubble had most definitely burst.
‘That smells good,’ Etienne said. ‘Is there enough for me?’
‘Yep,’ Walker said, unloading silver trays to the wooden table. Fox handed out plates, Etienne cracked open some more beers and Dingbat the dog took up position under the table, hoping for spills.
‘Bros and beers is exactly what I need tonight,’ Etienne commented as everyone served themselves in silence and started to eat.
‘Me too,’ agreed Walker. ‘Tell us good news, Fox. Cheer us up. What’s happening with the game launch?’
Fox piled chicken jalfrezi on his rice. ‘Launches Saturday,’ he said with an incredulous shake of his head.
‘Can you believe it? Your game going global,’ Walker said, proud of his friend. He offered his beer across the table and the boys all clinked their bottles against it. It was an important moment and they all knew it. Fox had worked hard for it.
‘I’m throwing the launch party at The Bolthole,’ he said.
‘Banking on you guys being there. There’ll be play stations, virtual reality arenas – so many different zones, from the Wild West with a bucking bronco to a space zone with laser quest. Should be a laugh.
All the big content reviewers are coming. Some gamers from America.’
‘Sounds like fun. Count me in. I need all the fun I can get,’ Etienne moaned.
‘So, things are really going well for you!’ Walker said.
‘Brilliantly,’ said Fox with a sigh. ‘But I need to find a nanny. I think it’s the only answer.
The games company is already talking about a sequel.
I feel guilty about the boys, I’m always half concentrating on something else.
I think if I got a full day’s work done, then after work I could give them my complete attention. ’
Walker nodded. ‘And you can afford it now, Big Daddy Warbucks.’ They clinked beers again.
‘I’ve asked Rosie and Wren if they know anyone. They’re going to ask around for me.’
As if they knew they were being discussed, the boys strolled barefoot into the kitchen and Fox stopped talking.
George nudged Reggie and Reggie nudged him back.
George pushed his brother in the back and Reggie adopted an offhand expression and slung his arm over his dad’s shoulder.
George muffled a giggle and hung back by the door, watching his big brother expectantly.
All three men looked at Reggie who smiled coolly.
‘Can I have a beer, Dad?’ Reggie asked casually.
‘Sure,’ said Fox, equally casually. Reggie started to smile and then stopped as Fox finished, ‘In about eleven years’ time.’
Reggie pulled a face and George sighed. They left together with heavier feet.
‘Those boys are going to be trouble,’ Etienne said.
‘They already are!’ Fox replied.
‘Alex had good news too this week,’ Walker said. ‘The local radio station has been in touch. Someone was at the Honeybridge Awards last week and heard them play. They want them to go in and perform his song for them and they’re going to record it and give them some airtime.’
‘Woah, that’s seriously cool,’ Fox said.
‘He could do with some good luck,’ Walker said. ‘Amber’s called it off with him again.’
‘Women,’ said Etienne with feeling, snapping a poppadom. ‘Can’t live with them, can’t live without them.’
‘You okay?’ Fox asked.
All eyes turned to Etienne.
‘Depends which way you look at it. I had good news too this week. The planning application for the restaurant extension has been approved. But the bad news is my wedding has been called off.’
‘What?’ Fox paused with his fork halfway to his mouth in shock.
‘What’s happened to the wedding, bro?’ Walker asked.
‘I have absolutely no fucking idea,’ Etienne said. ‘Apparently, I shouldn’t be asking the love of my life when we might set a date to get married. According to Isabella, it shows lack of respect for her decisions. I’m at a loss, mate. I really am.’ He dropped his head into his hands.
‘Good news on the restaurant, though, man,’ Walker said into the silence.
‘Doesn’t mean anything unless Isabella is there to share it,’ Etienne replied.
‘You’ll work it out, Et,’ Walker said, hoping it to be true. He’d never seen Etienne happier than he had been the past six months or so with Isabella. Etienne pulled a face and then nodded back at Walker.
‘So, what’s going on with you? You don’t seem too happy yourself . . .’
Understatement of the year. Walker drank a long mouthful of beer, anxiety bubbling away in his gut as he considered what exactly he should tell them.
There was so much that had happened in his life that he hadn’t told them.
That he’d never told anyone until Gabi. It wasn’t that he hadn’t wanted to.
It was that he never wanted them to look at him differently.
He wanted them to think of him as someone they could rely on. Their friend.
So instead, he swallowed his secret fears again and told them the easier bit.
‘Slept with Gabi but won’t be repeating.’
‘Why?’ Etienne asked. ‘Was it that bad?’
Walker shook his head.
Both friends were staring at him now, curry going cold on their plates. Walker struggled to find the words that were right.
‘But she doesn’t seem to like the rest of me. She said we should just have casual sex rather than conversation – or words to that effect.’
‘Fucking hell, and they say men aren’t in touch with their emotions.’ Fox shook his head.
‘So, I said no thanks. That woman doesn’t want the hassle of anybody in her life. She’s completely independent and always will be. I think I’m looking for a bit more connection in my life.’
‘She’s more footloose and fancy free.’
More F words to describe her, Walker thought, adding them to his list. Feisty. feminine, funny. And the latest one, fuckable.
‘Back to the sex, though,’ Etienne said, leaning in. ‘How was it?’
Another F word, Walker thought. ‘Fierce,’ he said and finally managed a smile.
All the boys clinked beers and were suddenly aware of two small pyjamaed boys standing in the doorway.
‘We’re watching Married at First Sight,’ Reggie announced.
‘Righto, boys.’ Fox rolled his eyes. ‘Definitely time for bed.’ He pushed his chair back.
‘Why aren’t any of you married?’ George said, big round eyes taking in each of the men at the table, who all slugged back a mouthful of beer.
‘Yeah, you’re all old,’ Reggie said.
Walker spluttered a laugh as the youngest of the group. ‘Cheeky monkeys,’ he said. ‘I’m only thirty-six.’
‘That’s ancient.’
‘Maybe we haven’t found the right women yet,’ Fox said.
‘Or we have, and they don’t know if they want to marry us yet,’ Etienne said.
‘What about you two?’ Walker challenged. ‘Why aren’t you married yet?’
Reggie pulled a face and George laughed.
‘Girls are disgusting.’
‘Yeah, girls suck.’
‘Don’t say it,’ Fox muttered to his friends as they all laughed into their beers. He pushed his chair under the table.
‘First one in bed gets first choice of TV tomorrow.’ The boys ran whooping towards the stairs and Fox followed them out of the room. Etienne’s phone rang and he pulled it from his pocket, his face lighting up when he saw the name on the screen.
‘Bella, baby,’ he said. ‘I’m sorry.’
Etienne let himself out the bifold doors and Walker watched his expression soften and smile as he talked to Isabella. A minute later, he was leaning back in his patio chair and laughing softly into the phone. From all appearances, the wedding was back on.
Walker pushed his plate to the side and sighed quietly.
He was happy for his friend, who had found his match and wanted to be with her for the rest of his life.
Happy for Fox, moving on and finding global success.
Happy for Alex with his big music break.
But to be honest, he was drained. He was constantly tired and now his feelings were hurt as well.
The nightmares were getting more frequent.
He felt like he was carrying a heavy weight, and he didn’t know how to put it down.
And there was nobody to help share the load.