Chapter Sixty-One
Gabi
It was Saturday afternoon, and Gabi had dressed carefully in a fitted asymmetric top that almost met her jeans.
Not just because she wanted to look her absolute best, but because she had to plan what to keep out of her suitcase, which was otherwise packed and standing at the end of her bed like a flashing beacon of doom.
She’d mussed her own hair and checked her eyeliner was just smudged enough to give her a smoky eye and not look like she’d been crying most of the morning. Which she had. Which was ridiculous.
She could hear people arriving and heading out to the garden.
She’d been banished to her room for an hour while Amber got everything ready but now, she heard the shout that she could attend her own party.
The one which was meant to be fun and to say goodbye, although how those two things went together were a bit beyond her.
All the gang were there. Toby and Jesse had even popped in.
All her favourite people in one place, the people that had turned from strangers to friends over the past few months.
Tunes were playing on the speaker; the sun was out, and the sky was blue.
And although it might be ten degrees colder than where she’d be the next day, she reckoned it was twice as beautiful.
The first person she looked for was Walker.
He stood at the end of the garden talking to Fox, his T-shirt fitted across the span of his chest and shoulders, his jeans hugging his thighs.
Damn, he looked good. Better than good. She headed for him, just wanting to be near him for these last, precious few hours.
‘There she is!’ Wren shouted, before she reached him. He turned at the words and their eyes locked, and everyone and everything else fell away.
Amber popped a bottle of champagne, and everyone cheered.
Reggie and George ran onto the patio as a double act and shot party poppers around her, trailing streamers as they went.
Glasses were handed out and by the time hers was filled, he was beside her, his arm around her shoulders, his breath in her ear.
‘You look hot as hell,’ he whispered, pulling her closer into his side.
She went to reply but found her throat constricted.
She coughed to clear it and squeezed him back.
He smelled of peppery spice and she wanted to bury her face in his neck and breathe him in.
No chance of that until later, though. Everyone encircled her, glasses poised.
‘To Gabi,’ Amber said, raising her glass in the air. ‘My favourite flatmate ever. Sorry you ate my face mask once thinking it was yoghurt.’ The guys gagged and the girls laughed.
‘Easily done!’ Gabi said. ‘Quite tasty too.’
‘To Gabi,’ Isabella continued. ‘My favourite cousin in the world.’
‘Your only cousin in the world,’ Gabi corrected.
‘Not the point!’ Isabella just shrugged and blew her a kiss, before pulling a handkerchief out of Etienne’s pocket and blowing her nose loudly.
‘To Gabi!’ Wren and Rosie lifted their glasses, although they both seemed to be drinking milk for some reason. ‘For teaching Riley that women can be strong and fearless.’ To demonstrate the fact, Riley cartwheeled across the garden three times before bowing.
Gabi’s eyes pricked with the start of fresh tears, and she blinked them away.
Jayden stepped forward and Gabi suddenly thought she might have to borrow Etienne’s wet hanky too.
He made direct eye contact with her and held his two hands connected in front of his chest and shook them once.
She knew that one. Friends. She nodded and signed back.
Always. He grinned and dashed forward to hug her.
Gabi held his narrow shoulders against her and glanced at Amber over Jayden’s head, and her eyes were now full of tears too.
‘No more!’ she half laughed, half cried. ‘I can’t take any more! This is meant to be fun!’
Everyone shouted cheers or good luck and clinked glasses and drank to her health, apart from the kids who threw shots of lemonade down their throats like tequila.
‘I should have done a toast too,’ Walker said into her ear. ‘To Gabi, for sliding down my pole?’ She laughed.
‘Truthfully,’ he said, ‘I’m so happy I met you, Gabi. Of all the poles in all the places, I’m glad you chose to stupidly slide down mine.’ She laughed as he pulled her closer, tilting her face up to him.
‘Honestly, I’d do it all again,’ she said. ‘It’s been so good spending time with you.’
He hesitated a moment and his expression became serious, before saying urgently, ‘I don’t want to just be a holiday romance. I want us to be more than that, Gabi.’ His eyes burned into hers; his arms tightened around her waist. ‘I wish you could stay.’
She jolted, conflicting emotions rushing through her. Hope, anticipation, regret, sadness. She dropped her eyes, unable to sustain the intensity of his gaze.
‘You know that’s impossible,’ she said and it came out harsher than she meant it to. She glanced upwards and he blinked.
‘I’m just trying to find a way for this not to be the end. We could make a real go of things if you were staying in Honeybridge.’
Gabi shook her head in disbelief.
‘Or if you were in America maybe!’ she exclaimed.
‘You know my job is here,’ he said, holding his palms to the sky.
‘And mine is there,’ Gabi shot back. She sighed in exasperation and they eyed each other in an uneasy stand-off. ‘Why did you have to say that and spoil things? I don’t want to leave on a bad note.’
‘I had to say it,’ he said with a shrug, letting his hands fall to his sides. ‘I wanted to be honest. I’m falling for you so hard, Gabi. I can’t bear to lose you.’
Gabi knew her mouth was open and snapped it shut.
‘I’m sorry,’ she stammered. ‘I never meant to hurt you.’
Walker closed his eyes and a small nerve in his jaw ticked. She reached for his hands but they hung in hers. Guilt and tears blocked her throat. He opened his eyes and she hated herself for the hurt she saw in them.
‘I know,’ he said finally. ‘You can’t help it if your feelings aren’t the same.’ He forced a smile but she could feel him already backing away, protecting himself.
Someone chimed a fork against a glass for attention and Walker stepped away from her, focusing instead on Rosie on the patio, waiting for silence. Gabi felt bereft, even though Walker was only a foot away.
‘Ahem,’ Rosie said theatrically and everyone stilled.
Toby edged towards her, and she put a hand out to him, pulling him beside her and Wren.
Riley ran to them all and Toby hoisted her onto his shoulders.
When everyone was settled, Rosie said, ‘While we are all together, it’s the perfect time to share our news.
Toby, Wren, Riley and I went to the hospital yesterday and we’re pleased to announce that Wren is officially pregnant! ’
Wren automatically patted her stomach, which still looked pretty flat, although Gabi thought maybe she could see the hint of a curve.
‘I wondered why you were drinking milk!’ Isabella said.
‘I have terrible heartburn and it helps.’ Wren rolled her eyes.
‘And I’m her sister in solidarity,’ Rosie said, holding Wren’s hand. ‘I remember only too well what it’s like being the only sober person at a party.’
‘And we have our due date confirmed,’ Wren said, biting her lip in excitement. ‘And it’s early January!
‘Oh my God!’ Amber shouted.
‘It’s so exciting!’ Isabella said.
Rosie, Wren and Toby shared a look, laughing between themselves. Gabi marvelled at the love and happiness between them and felt the stab of it. It only accentuated what she didn’t have.
‘No, actually,’ said Rosie, slipping her arm around Wren’s waist. ‘What’s really exciting is . . .’
‘We’re having twins!’ Wren said, which was followed by a roar of amazement from everyone as they surged in to congratulate them.
Rosie and Wren laughed in delight; Riley shouted about how she was going to be a big sister.
It hit Gabi like a brick. Not only were people falling in love and getting married, they were growing babies and families all around. Just not her.
Gabi stumbled forward to congratulate Toby and he grinned proudly and immediately put his hand back to steady Riley on his shoulders. Gabi stared. The tiny movement reminded Gabi of something. Something she’d long forgotten.
Papà. His hands were always there to catch her when he was teaching her to ride her bike in the park near their house.
Her mamma wasn’t there; Gabi remembered her being away, although Papà had been vague about where exactly.
But her papà had taken her to the park and run behind her for hours, his hands on her back to guide her, his encouraging words speeding her on: ‘I’m always here, Gabriella.
I’m always here. For whenever you need me. ’
The sun had been going down by the time she pedalled from one end of the path to the other and realised that she was cycling on her own.
That night her papà was just as proud as she had been.
He had told her how brave she was as he tucked her into bed.
And she’d loved cycling her bike ever since that day that he supported her as she learned.
But it was his words that stuck in her mind now.
Tears pricked her eyes as she watched Toby slide Riley down to hold her in his arms and kiss her before setting her on the ground to play with the children now that the announcement was over.
She had an urge to see if her papà had messaged, but shook herself, knowing full well the date. His monthly text wasn’t due for another week and she’d be in America by then. On her own. Again.