Chapter 4
CHAPTER FOUR
SHAKUR MOORE
When I was a child, my mother told me the story of the Prodigal Son, and I used to wonder how he felt coming back home. Did he feel lower than low, like I was now? Did he feel like he had no right to come back after all he had done? Did he feel ashamed?
I never thought that I would end up like him, when I was a child—yet here I was!
I looked over at the front door, knowing my family was inside and just a few feet away from me, but my fear had me confined to my car.
Three years was a long time to be gone—I knew that, but I couldn’t fight the urge to come back home. Back to where I belonged—hopefully, I still belonged.
Over the years, my father had told me that it was okay to come back home, but I never did.
Why? Why didn’t I come back after the first year, or even the second year, when it felt easier to return?
Why did I wait another year? Until now, I felt like I’d been forgotten.
As though my family had a life of their own, behind those closed doors, that didn’t include me.
At this point, I didn’t know whether the devil was messing with me or if God was telling me to turn back around, and go back to where I came from, but I was conflicted.
Did I stay or did I go back?
I must have been glutton for punishment or something, because thinking fuck it, I climbed out of my car.
The air felt different—if that even made sense. It was an unfamiliar feeling the neighborhood now held, as if I no longer had any stakes to this place as my home.
But I brushed it off and trudged up to the front door, frowning at the fact that it was broken. The splintered wood burned my eyes because had I broken my family in the same way or had someone come to break them because I was absent?
“What the hell happened?”
All types of scenarios played out in my head about what could have happened to the door. I raised my hand to ring the buzzer until I remembered that I still had keys to this house that I hadn’t used in years.
My eyes fell down to them still resting in my hand, and I sighed.
I wonder if my key still works.
I got my answer when I pushed my key into the door and unlocked it. My body froze, and I held my breath before I stepped into the house. It was quiet—too quiet, as I trekked further into the house, and then I heard their voices coming from the living room.
The house still smelled like Dad’s favorite cologne and whatever fruity candles my sister loved to buy. There was even the faintest hint of my mother’s scent, probably from the clothes my father refused to put away. Three years later, and it was still the same.
I took that moment to reintroduce myself to those scents I had almost forgotten.
Taking one more deep breath, I stepped into the room, immediately silencing them both.
My little sister gasped loudly. Her eyes widened with surprise and uncertainty.
Even my dad just sat there looking at me as if he couldn’t believe his own eyes.
The room stilled, silence wrapping around us and nipping at my throat that started to tighten all of a sudden.
It was complete stillness before Kairi shot up out of her seat.
I closed my eyes, recoiling a little as I waited for the first of many slaps, which I undoubtedly deserved, but my eyes opened when I felt her body collide with mine and her arms wrap around me.
“Shakur!” she screamed, hugging me so tight I couldn’t even lift my arms to embrace her back.
“I missed you so much!” She continued to squeeze me. I smiled and looked down at my little heartbeat that I missed every damn day for the past three years.
“I missed you too,” I let her know. I managed to pull my arms free and held them up in the air, unsure. I hesitated for a few seconds before I eventually wrapped them around her, basking in the feeling of familiarity she was giving me.
My father just stood there, looking at me in complete shock before he too hugged me when Kairi let me go.
“Welcome back, son. Welcome back,” Pops said, tapping my back.
I take it back, this was probably how the Prodigal Son felt! Reconciled.
After our embrace, my father took a step back from me, and that was when I noticed he had bruises.
“What happened to your face?”
His eyes widened, as if he’d forgotten, and he looked at my sister.
“Uh—” Kairi stuttered, and that further pissed me off because I knew then it had to be something bad.
“Now, don’t overreact,” Pops said, as if that was supposed to help. If anything, that was exactly what I was going to do, knowing I wasn’t going to like the answer.
“Someone broke in and I had to fight them,” Pops said. I looked to Kairi, and she was looking down at the carpet for some reason.
“Who?” I asked. That was all I needed to fucking know.
“We don’t know. They were covered, but it was some young niggas. You know how they can be sometimes. Probably thought there was something in here to steal,” Pops chuckled. Kairi nodded and continued to look down at the floor.
“But your sister saved me. They ran away after she got her pistol.”
I felt a sense of relief to know that my sister didn’t forget what I’d taught her and still had the pistol I bought her, but I was still pissed, nonetheless.
“At least I know what happened to the door,” I said. Dad chuckled again and nodded.
“You didn’t see their faces?” I questioned. For some reason, I just couldn’t let it go.
“No, but don’t worry about that. How have you been?” Dad asked, smiling at me.
I was happy to see them, without a doubt, but I just couldn’t get over how fucked up his face looked. They damn sure had to be some big little niggas to do his face like that.
I knew I was frowning hard as hell. All types of murderous thoughts flowing through my mind. If my pops only knew who his son really was!
“By the looks of it, he’s been living in a gym,” Kairi kidded, grabbing and squeezing my bicep muscle. “You grew that much in three years?”
When I left, I had the body of a basketball player, but now, I was twice that size.
I felt a wave of sadness rush over me, knowing it truly had been that long since I saw either of their faces.
My head fell.
“I’m sorry y’all. I—I don’t even have an excuse,” I started trying my hardest to find the right words to say, even though I knew it wouldn’t make up for it.
I’d done the cowardly thing by walking away when they probably needed me the most. Had I been here that night, my father wouldn’t have had to face those mothafuckers and my sister wouldn’t have had to get involved.
Yeah, Pops was the head of our household, but I always felt like it was my job to protect us now. He’d spent years doing it when I was too young to defend myself, but I was thirty years old now. My turn to look after him. Instead, I left them.
Pops approached me and put his hand on my shoulder.
There used to be a time that he was taller than me at five foot eleven, but now I towered over him at six foot four.
We still looked alike with the same dark chocolate complexion, pitch black eyes, broad nose, and thick lips.
He’d just aged and lost his dark curls that were now almost all gray.
I had waves and now a thicker, inked up body, but I looked like my father, which I often appreciated. He was a good fucking dad to us.
“You have nothing to be sorry about, Shakur. I understand that Sony and Viper were trying to recruit you. I was the one who suggested you leave to keep you out of it,” Dad said, which only made me sadder because I should have stood my ground, regardless.
“The most important thing now is that you’re back,” Pops said, looking me in the eyes.
“But Pops—” my voice cracked.
“But nothing. I said what I said.”
He gave me a reassuring smile that enabled me to lift my head.
“Plus, you’ve been away long enough. I know they would have forgotten you by now,” Pops said.
I nodded because that was what I was hoping for too.
I felt like three years was a long enough time for them to move on and forget about me.
Otherwise, I would have come back home when my dad asked me to.
As long as I stayed out of the streets, they wouldn’t even know I was back.
“You’re back for good, now? Right?” Kairi asked. Hope shining in her eyes.
I smiled.
“Yeah. I’m not going anywhere.”
And this time, I meant it!
THREE DAYS LATER
I sat back in my car and exhaled the weed smoke. My mind had been on a thousand since the night I came back. I’d been combing the streets, trying to find out what little niggas thought they could touch my father and live to see another day.
I thought my days of violence were behind me, but for my family, I’d murder a whole fucking city. Both Kairi and my pops wanted me to let it go, but how could I?
My dad had replaced the door, but I still saw it. It’d been etched into my mind, and I knew only finding the people responsible would make me feel better.
I hadn’t slept yet, like I was waiting for the mothafuckers to come back. The only clue was a tattoo that Kairi thought she might have seen. A gun and red rose on one of their arms. That was it, and I was stuck.
But since they hadn’t come back, I decided to hit the streets to find them myself.
Sitting behind the seat of my old ass Camaro, I found myself back in the trenches I vowed never to visit again. But I needed answers, and this was the place to get them.
“Once I get what I need, I won’t come back,” I said to myself.
After I left, I made a vow never to be in this part of town again, but for my family, I would happily come out of retirement.
Just as I sat there wondering if I was doing the right thing coming back here or not, I looked up and saw the nigga I’d been waiting on. Sighing, I exited my car, pulled my cap down over my eyes, and pushed my hands in my pockets as I walked up to him.
“Sony,” I called his name, making him turn to look back at me.
“Oh my god, he’s back,” someone yelled, but I ignored them and kept my eyes on Sony, who was staring at me like he’d seen a ghost.
He looked at his crew before rubbing a hand down his face and approaching me alone. One of his friends tried to follow, but he told him to stand back. As Sony stepped closer to me, he led me back away from his peoples a little and looked at me.
“Damn, I didn’t think I’d ever see you again,” he said. I nodded because I had already made up my mind that I was never going to come back, yet here I was.
Sony turned to look around for a second before looking back at me. The nigga looked high or uneasy or something. He was just giving off these weird ass vibes.
“How long you been back?” he questioned.
“A few days.” I hunched and folded my arms across my chest.
“I thought we agreed that you would stay away and I’d look out for your family?” Sony said, and I frowned.
All of this bullshit with The Society was the reason why I had to leave my family. I didn’t want to, but I did it to protect them.
I’d never really messed with these niggas like that and always kept to myself, until one day Viper offered me a chance to join Sony’s crew. I declined.
Yet, despite me not wanting anything to do with them, Viper saw me as a threat and like I was challenging him by declining his offer. He made it very clear, I either joined Sony or left town if I wanted my father to keep his job.
My dad thought I left because he advised me to, but it was Viper’s ultimatum.
I chose to leave, thinking it was the only way to protect them, so I understood why Sony said what he did.
My head nodded to agree.
“You’re right, Sony, but the thing is, I’m hearing that some young niggas ran up in my house and fucked with my pops. That’s a problem for me,” I said. His eyes widened. Either this was the first time he was hearing about it, or he didn’t expect me to know, and that pissed me off.
“That’s news to me, Shak, but I promise I will find out and deal with it,” Sony said as if that was supposed to make me feel better, but it didn’t.
“Nah, I will deal with it myself, Sony. It was good seeing you,” I said before turning and walking away.
I’d only come here to see if he knew who the niggas were. Clearly, he didn’t, so he was no longer needed. Conversation over.
“But you gonna leave once you find out, right?!” he yelled to my back, and I didn’t answer him because I wasn’t trying to break another promise to Kairi.
As I headed back to my car, I thought about how I was going to protect my family from Viper.
I knew Sony would run back to his pops like a bitch.
Viper made it very clear, join him or I was against him, and I had no plans on joining a pussy like Sony.
He walked around with his chest poked out because of who his father was, but I knew deep down inside, he wasn’t about that life.
Not like me. I’d done some shit my own family would disown me for, but I wasn’t about to bow to a man like Viper.
Just as I made it back to my car, I noticed a fire red Hellcat pull up. After the engine was killed, the driver door opened, and Hell stepped out. I chuckled.
I see that nigga was still around.
Feeling like it was definitely time for me to leave, I unlocked my car and pulled open my door to get in, when I heard the Hellcat passenger door open.
I looked up and locked eyes with Havoc. The nigga looked confused on seeing me.
For a good few seconds, we just stood there looking at each other, but then I noticed Sony watching us too for some strange ass reason.
Shaking my head, I climbed into my car and drove away, wondering if it was the right choice to come back after all.