Chapter 29 #2
“We are good at what we do and we’re not easy to kill. The truth is that for most of my life, I haven’t actually cared if I lived or died.”
Oh God.
That admission struck her hard. It hurt her deep inside. He hadn’t cared if he lived or died?
She heard Eli suck in a breath and wondered if he’d known this about his own brother. The two of them were so close that surely he must have.
But perhaps Kellan had never told him that?
Perhaps he hadn’t realized how dire his thoughts were.
“Kellan, no,” she said, turning to him.
He moved his hand through her hair, twisting it and tugging lightly. She gasped.
Why was that a turn on?
And how was it so easy to be here like this with them? Naked and yet not scared.
For so long she’d been so scared of her sexuality that she’d convinced herself she didn’t get aroused.
That way she’d never have to make herself vulnerable and sleep with another man.
Now, she was feeling so much that it was almost overwhelming.
“We’re pushing too far and fast,” Eli said. “Even with the punishment, aren’t we? Fuck. Kellan, let’s get out and let Arabella finish showering.” They tried to leave but she grabbed hold of them both, stilling them.
“Don’t leave.”
Eli was torn.
He hated the look of panic on her face before. They wanted to touch her, to taste her, take her. But they couldn’t move so fast that she was scared.
It was completely understandable that she’d need to move slowly. Spreading those photos of her naked body must have been traumatizing.
Yeah, the guy that did that better be living a miserable fucking life.
Because if there was anything they could do to make it worse, they would.
However, was she telling them to stay because she wanted to?
Or because she thought she had to?
“Listen to me, we’re not upset that we need to take things slow. We get it. If anyone is in the wrong here, it’s us for pushing too fast too soon. We’re going to back off but it’s not because we don’t want you. It’s because we want to do what’s best for you.”
“And what about the two of you?” She turned so she was looking up at them both. She glanced over Kellan’s near-naked body to Eli’s fully-clothed one. “What about what’s best for you both?”
“What’s best for us is whatever makes you happy,” Kellan told her gruffly.
Damn.
He hadn’t realized his brother could be so good at this.
But Arabella seemed to relax even further at Kellan’s reassurances.
“Then I want you to . . . to spank me. I don’t want to think about it anymore. I want to know what it’s like. And then I want to wash the conditioner out of my hair.”
Eli nuzzled her cheek. “You’re sure, baby?”
“I’m sure. And I don’t want you to be scared to . . . to touch me or to tell me how you want to touch me. I think I need to hear that. To experience it. I’ve never really felt desired before. And the more you make it clear that you want me, the more secure I think I feel.”
“You’re so brave,” he told her, meaning every word. “You have every right to tell us to back off. To be scared. Fuck, baby. You amaze me every day.”
“I do?”
“You do,” Kellan said.
“Then do I get to ask for something?” she asked, licking her lips.
“Anything,” Eli told her. And he meant it. He’d give her whatever she desired in that moment.
“Can you both get naked?”
Okay. That wasn’t what he’d expected her to say. But he also wasn’t going to turn her down.
If she wanted them naked, then he was all for it.
“Unless you don’t want to,” she said hastily. “I don’t want anyone to do anything they don’t want to do.”
He glanced over at Kellan who nodded and stripped off his boxers quickly as though ripping off a Band-Aid.
Arabella sucked in a breath. “Oh my God. I was right. You are huge.”
Kellan cupped the side of her face. “I’d never hurt you, though. Tell me you know that much at least.”
She swallowed, nodding. “I do trust you guys not to hurt me. Especially not physically. I wouldn’t be able to be with you like this if I didn’t.”
“We’ll try not to hurt you in any way,” Eli said firmly as he stripped down to his boxers.
She turned toward him and to his surprise, she leaned back against Kellan.
Kellan gave her a surprised look and for a moment Eli wondered what he would do.
But he simply wrapped one arm around her waist.
Fuck.
Eli was so damn proud of his brother. And equally grateful for their girl.
She was bringing his brother out of his shell. She was showing him how to be affectionate. How to show his caring side. It didn’t come out that often. He tended to tell people what he believed they should do.
Strangely, not everyone took that well.
“Are you all right, Eli?” she asked. “You don’t have to do this. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked this of you.” She attempted to pull out of Kellan’s hold, but he simply tightened his arm around her.
“Eyes on mine,” Eli told her firmly. “And stop moving.”
She froze and raised her gaze to his. He gave her a warm smile. “Good girl. I’m not worried about you seeing me naked. I’ll get naked whenever you want me to.”
“It’s true,” Kellan said. “He’s always getting naked and walking around our apartment.”
“I did that once!” Eli protested. “And it was because I was waiting for the dryer. I ran out of clean clothes.”
“You should be on top of your washing.”
“We can’t all stick to a schedule like you do,” Eli told him as he drew off his boxers.
“Schedule?” she asked, sounding distracted as she took him in.
Eli held back his smirk. He could tell that she liked what she saw.
“I just have certain days when I get certain things done. There’s nothing wrong with that. It means my bathroom is always immaculate, my clothes are always clean, and I never run out of coffee.”
“It’s weird,” Eli told him before turning to her with a smirk. “So you like what you see, baby?”
“Yes, I do. You’re both absolutely gorgeous.”
Eli ran a finger down her cheek, then placed it under her chin, tilting her face back. “So are you.” He bent down to kiss her but she let out a squeal, making him freeze.
“My breath!”
“What does that mean? Her breath?” Kellan asked.
“She’s worried that she has morning breath,” Eli said. “I told her that I don’t give a shit about that.”
Kellan snorted. “Of course not.”
“But if it makes you feel more comfortable, I won’t kiss you until you brush your teeth.”
She sighed. “Thank you.”
“Now, are you going to take your punishment like a good girl?” Eli asked.
Her eyes widened, but she nodded.
“So brave. So gorgeous. Get into your position so your men can spank your ass.”