Chapter 20 #3
“It’s East to you. You can save those fake-ass tears because I don’t care.
The only reason I brought you here is because I wanted you to hear the truth from the horse’s mouth.
You can leave now.” He was cold, but how could I blame him?
What I did was downright unforgivable, and I had no one to blame except myself.
Valor might have pulled a few strings, but she wasn’t responsible for my actions. I made those decisions on my own.
“I know things are still fresh right now, but eventually, we need to sit down and talk. I fucked up, and I have to take accountability, but this can’t be the end.” Emotions were high, but I knew deep down East loved me. Not to mention, we were still raising a little girl together.
“Hawk, can you escort my baby mama out of here?” The downgrade of my title stung, but I knew he was only speaking from a place of hurt.
“What are you gonna do about Valor?”
“It’s none of your concern. Go get my daughter. You’ve been lying around sulking about some bullshit decision you made and must’ve forgotten you have a child to raise.” His comment stung, but I couldn’t even argue with him. I hadn’t been as present as I should have been.
East must have noticed the sad expression on my face and felt guilty because he gave Logic a look before he turned in my direction. His closeness made me nervous, and I hated myself for the way things were between us.
“I planned to let her go afterward, but I done lost my bitch and my baby. Somebody gotta pay for that,” he grumbled.
I gulped but decided not to ask any more questions. East never discussed his street business with me, and if I was being honest, I didn’t want to know.
“Things are fucked up right now, but eventually, we need to sit down and talk,” I repeated.
“We don’t have shit to talk about. After I handle this shit, I’m gonna give you a few days to spend with our daughter, and then I’m coming to get her.
I’ll have my shit moved out by the end of the week, and we can communicate through my granny as far as Noodle’s schedule is concerned.
I’ll deposit money into your account every week for her and the bills.
Everything else, you’ll be responsible for.
” The coldness in his tone shattered me to my core, but I tried to hold myself together.
“I understand you’re upset, and you have every right to be. I’m gonna respect your decision for now, but at the end of the day, we need to talk about our relationship.”
“We don’t have a relationship, shorty. You ended that the moment you walked out of our house and had my baby sucked out of you.
I don’t know what you thought was gonna happen, but I never gave you the impression that you could play with my feelings.
I tried to tell you it was a misunderstanding, but your ass didn’t want to listen.
I’ve never cheated on you, and as many times as you’ve gone through my phone, you know this better than anyone.
“I gave you a pass when you left because it looked bad, but for you to make such an impulsive and hurtful decision because you were in your feelings showed me who you really are. I’ve tried my hardest to love you the way I thought you needed, but it’s clear it wasn’t good enough.
I’m done trying. It’s clear we want two different things, and I don’t want to hold you back. ”
My tears could no longer be held at bay because it felt like someone was restricting my air supply. East was breaking up with me. The one thing I had been afraid of for all these years was coming to fruition, and it felt like I was being stabbed right in the heart.
“Essex, I—”
“It’s time for you to go. I’ll have Granny or Aunt Pam hit you up when it’s time to coordinate a drop-off.”
East walked away from me without giving me a chance to plead my case.
My heart was crushed, and all I kept thinking about was how I would survive without him.
It might have sounded dramatic, but East was a part of me.
He was the person who saved me when I had no one.
His love was one of the driving forces behind me becoming the woman I was now.
I couldn’t even imagine a life where he wasn’t in it, and I didn’t want to.
My heart was completely crushed as I walked out of the warehouse.
The buff-ass bodyguard escorted me down the hall, but I froze in place when I heard loud popping sounds.
I lived in the hood long enough to know what a gunshot sounded like, and it was a distinct sound you would never forget.
Surprisingly, I felt nothing where it concerned Valor.
My mind still couldn’t process the fact that she plotted against me.
All I ever wanted was to be accepted, but it seemed like no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t seem to keep people in my life.
Once I drove a safe distance away, I sent a message to Granny Nessa that I would come pick Noodle up later, but I needed a moment to myself.
Instead of going to Keynauri’s house, I headed to mine.
I needed to be alone to gather my thoughts and figure out what I was going to do next.
As heartbroken as I might have been, I couldn’t dwell in it for long.
At the end of the day, I played a part in my own suffering, and now I would have to figure out where to go from here.