Chapter 23 #4
I looked up to make sure she could see my face when I answered.
“I could never regret being with you. Not only did you give me the greatest gift in the world, but you’re also my person.
We’re all flawed as fuck, so I don’t want you to take what I said as me tearing you down.
I want you to grow into the woman I know you can be, and that means acknowledging your flaws.
“I love you more than I could ever love another woman, Lola. I could get married tomorrow, and you’ll still be the first and only woman to have my heart. Nobody comes before you and my princess, and there isn’t a bitch alive who can tell you they ever had me the way you do.”
She wiped tears from her face, and I allowed her a moment to get her feelings together. “Thank you, Essie. I know I can be a lot to handle, but I’m grateful you’ve never given up on me.”
“Never. We might not always see eye to eye, but that shit is normal. As long as you and Noodle are happy and healthy, I don’t care about anything else.
” I grabbed one of the spare chargers from the dresser, then made my way to the other side of the bed.
I removed my shirt and shorts, leaving my boxers on.
“Umm, who told you that you could sleep in my bed?” Lyric fussed.
“If we want to be technical, this is my bed. I’m the one who paid for this shit and got the custom mattress top for my back.”
“Yeah, but when you moved out, all of this stuff became mine. You’re supposed to be sleeping on the couch.” Lyric playfully pushed my shoulder, but I paid her ass no mind.
“Yeah, right. I’m not sleeping on that damn couch when there is a perfectly good bed right here. I don’t know why you want to put on a front like you don’t want me in here. You can stop the cappin’.”
“Oh, please. I’m not thinking about your hoe ass. I’m just not sure how my man would feel about my baby daddy sleeping at my house and especially in my bed. It’s inappropriate. Besides, I’m sure your little friend wouldn’t be too happy to know you were in my space like this.”
“I’m grown as hell, and nobody can tell me what to do.
I want to be close to my family to make sure y’all are straight.
Fuck whoever might feel some type of way about it.
Besides, I don’t give a fuck about that lil’ nigga you’re with.
I’m being gracious and allowing him his time.
He should be grateful.” I fluffed my pillow, getting comfortable in my spot.
It was pretty early, but my body was exhausted. I had a long week ahead of me, so I planned to take advantage of my sleep when I could.
“Why do you keep saying that as if we’re getting back together?”
“You think we aren’t?”
“I-I can’t predict the future, but you just got done telling me that I was selfish, and now you’re saying my man is on borrowed time. It’s confusing.”
“It’s very simple. I’ve already let you know what my issues are. If you want something bad enough, then you’ll put in the effort to make sure the person you love knows you’re all in. I’ve been fighting for you for years. I don’t want to be the only one stepping into the ring.”
“If you want me back, just say that,” Lyric jested.
“I never said I didn’t. The ball is in your court, lil’ mama.” My eyes grew heavy, letting me know it would only be a matter of time before I fell asleep. I missed my old bed, and it obviously missed me too from the way it was curving to my back.
Eventually, the two of us fell asleep, but it didn’t last very long.
Lyric tossed and turned in her sleep most of the night.
I tried to tune out her mumbling, but it got so bad, I couldn’t go back to sleep.
Gently, I shook her shoulder to wake her up.
She damn near knocked me out when she jumped out of her sleep.
“Leave me alone! Don’t touch me!” she screamed. I sat up with my back against the headboard and attempted to wrap my arms around her. “No, no, no. Please, don’t.”
I could tell she wasn’t completely awake, but her outbursts concerned me. Lyric had been having nightmares for years, but they were never as bad as what I witnessed tonight.
“Hey, it’s me, baby. I promise you’re at home, and you’re safe.
Come here.” I lifted her body and straddled her across my lap.
My arms were wrapped around her as I rubbed her back.
After a few moments of me rocking her in my arms, I heard what sounded like light sniffles.
They eventually turned into sobs, and I made sure to hold her tighter to remind her that she was somewhere safe.
“I haven’t felt so helpless in such a long time.
My heart exploded when he grabbed Symphonee and took off running.
All I could think about was all the disgusting things he did to me and how he would take his anger out on her.
He doesn’t care about her, but he wants to get under my skin because he knows she means everything to me.
I know it sounds bad, but I wish he was dead.
All these years have gone by, and I thought I was finally healing, but then one interaction with him, and I already feel myself spiraling,” Lyric vented.
“Today was triggering, and you have every right to feel the way you do, but I promise you don’t have anything to be afraid of.
Even if he had taken her, I would have had her back to you in no time.
I keep telling you that I’ve got you, and you never have to feel unsafe as long as my heart is beating.
He hurt you in the past, but he doesn’t have power over you any longer, Lola.
“Look at everything you’ve built, baby. You beat every stereotype and stigma that comes with being a teen mother and a parentless child. Every hardship you’ve been through, you’ve overcome and made the shit look effortless. Don’t let anything or anyone rob you of that.”
I had held off on killing that piece of shit a long time ago, but his time was up.