Chapter 29 #4
“Move! Move now!” Shane shouted as he rammed his body into the door. It took a couple of tries before he was finally able to get it open. The piercing cry he let out shattered the rest of my already broken heart.
“What the fuck, Shay! Fuck!”
I probably should have stayed where I was, but I needed to see her.
My mind wouldn’t allow me to believe it was real until I laid eyes on her myself.
Standing up, I took a deep breath then walked inside.
The floor was completely covered in water, but none of that mattered as I raced over to the bathtub.
She looked so peaceful it almost seemed as if she was sleeping, but her purple lips confirmed my worst nightmare.
“Shay, please,” I pleaded, holding up her limp hand. You would have thought I would have been afraid to touch a dead body, but I wasn’t. The only thing I felt was heartbreak and angst as I stared at her lifeless body.
“Why the fuck would she do some shit like this?” Shane cried to himself as he paced the room.
I tried to lift her up, but she was too heavy for me. In my moment of delusion, I thought maybe it wasn’t too late for CPR or something.
“Shane, call 911. Can you help me get her out? I want to put some clothes on her or something. I don’t want anyone seeing her like this.” I cried, beating myself up internally for missing the signs.
“I called them as soon as I got off the phone with you. They should be here any minute. Fuck, man!” Shane reared back and punched the wall above the toilet. My emotions shifted from devastation to numbness and back to devastation.
When the police came, everything became one big blur.
They questioned us, took a bunch of pictures, and eventually, the coroner came and removed her body from the house.
I asked them if I could dress her, but they told me no.
I was so irritated at the thought of her being out there with no clothes on.
It may sound trivial, but it mattered to me.
“We found a note folded on the bathroom counter, along with an empty pill bottle. Based on our findings, we are certain her cause of death was suicide. We don’t intend to investigate any further.
We normally wait until the case is fully closed, but I think you may want to see the contents of the note before we take it with us.
It’s addressed to Shane and Lyric.” The officer read our names off the paper and then looked back at us.
I nodded, even though I had no desire to see what her note said. My heart was broken, and I wasn’t sure how I would get through this loss.
The officer handed me the note and walked away to give me some time to read it.
Shane stood there with a stoic expression.
I knew he was crushed because he and Shaylyn had been as thick as thieves their entire life.
She had never lived in a world without him in it, but now he was forced to live without her.
My hands shook as I prepared to read the note.
It was short, and a part of me was sad knowing these were her last words.
To my angels, Shane and Lyric,
I know I fucked y’all up with what I’ve done, but I couldn’t take it anymore.
I felt like I was drowning and I didn’t have any more fight left in me.
The reason I called the two of you over was because I wanted one last happy memory to take with me into the afterlife.
I don’t know whether there is heaven or hell, but there has to be something better than this life.
I love you both with everything inside of me.
I’m sure you’re probably hurt or even upset, but I promise my decision has nothing to do with either of you.
To be honest, I don’t think I would have survived for as long as I did without you.
Please don’t let my death stop you from living life.
The two of you deserve happiness and I need you to promise me that you won’t allow life to swallow you whole.
I’m no longer suffering and now that I’ve seen my niece, I’m at peace.
Shane, please tell her how much her auntie loved her.
Teach her all of our favorite games and love her the way you loved me.
Lyric, continue to show the world that you’re that girl.
I’m sorry proud of you baby girl. I’ve always admired your strength and now that I’m gone, you have to promise to live it up for the both of us.
Until we meet again.
Love you forever, Shay
I sobbed into Shane’s arms, trying to wrap my head around what happened.
Nothing made sense to us, but it was clear she had set it up that way.
She wanted us to have one more night with her, just so she could shatter our worlds in the morning.
It hurt. My chest felt as if it was going to explode as I shed tears for the childhood that had been stripped from us and the life Shaylyn would never get to live.
It wasn’t fair. Life wasn’t supposed to be so cruel.
We stood there, holding each other, knowing our lives would never be the same.