22. Darcy #2
“Darcy, we got photos from the afternoon back already. Here’s us posing on the bridge at Bibury.” He handed me the stack of photos. On the top one, Jane was gazing up at him, and Wills wore an enormous grin. “Honestly, the way she smiles at me. It’s like I’m the only man in the world.”
A lead weight dropped into my gut.
It was time.
I turned fully to him, bracing myself to use everything I had to get him to see reality. Usually if I suggested something to Wills, he did the opposite.
To earn his trust, I went through the photos slowly, in a considered way. In every one, Jane looked, of course, incredible—she’d been a successful model—but the positioning of her body and face and her smile was practiced and professional. I had to make him see that and ease the pace.
“But have you noticed she smiles the same for everyone?” I asked. “Did you not see when she was paired last night with Knightley for a dance, she smiled at him the same. When those supposed candid photos were taken over after-dinner drinks, she smiled at the photographer the same.”
He snatched the photos off me, and a disgusted exhale sounded from his throat. “She’s a model. That’s years of training.”
“Wills, this is moving a little too fast. You have all the time in the world to explore this after the show.”
“It’s not moving fast enough for me. I can’t wait to see her again. In fact, I’m thinking I should head back here Monday night.”
I groaned. “Monday night? No, no, that’s way too soon, too eager. Please. Slow down and make sure she’s into you. Take your time to get to know her in the coming months.”
“Darcy, you didn’t hear our conversations yesterday and today. We laughed and talked, and we gazed into each other’s eyes. It was a whole thing.”
“Wills, I’m sorry, but remember what happened the last time you fell this fast? You think every woman is the one.”
I could see him tense. I hated that I was about to destroy this temporary euphoria, make him confused, force him to rethink what he’d considered was a wonderful day, a special weekend. But ultimately, he needed to take this step back on his own.
“Remember with Imogen, the wedding stuff was ordered—our tuxes, the chairs and tables, food, venue paid for. We even had a room for the gifts.” I put a hand on his shoulder. “Wills, I don’t want to have to cancel wedding cakes because you’re too heartbroken to make the phone call yourself.”
Wills moved farther into the wardrobe, away from my hand, and I could feel he was humiliated. I hated that he might see me as cruel, but he did need to be reminded of that heartbreak. It had taken him a long time to get over that whole awful business.
Eventually, he turned back to me with a more considered look.
“She did smile like that at the owner of that manor house yesterday and the director. She smiles sweetly at Knightley.” He shook his head.
“Not that I think she’s attracted to those men or to Knightley.
She stood next to him in the photos, and when directed by the photographer, she gave the photographer that smile.
” He paused and looked up, as if remembering.
“And when we talk… She is holding back, even I can see that. I thought it was because she was reserved, but…”
He thudded onto his bed and covered his face with his hands.
“Oh God, I’m a fool. I’ve done my usual bloody falling in love at first sight. When am I ever going to learn? Maybe I should tell her now.”
Shit. Now he was spiraling.
I put my hand on his shoulder. “You’re not a fool.
You are a sweet man, and you’ll find your person.
I want to be honest about my misgivings.
All I’m saying is to slow down. I’m not convinced that Jane has ulterior motives.
I’m only suggesting she might be using the show as an opportunity, and you should take more time. ”
“No, it’s over. I can’t keep repeating history. As usual, I’ve completely misread her, and I somehow need to push her away. Maybe I won’t even have to. I mean, if she’s not into me, then surely she won’t even ask when we can meet again.”
I could tell from the rapid expression that torqued his face, this final thought comforted him. Then disturbed him. He was totally freaking out.
“Wills, sleep on it, okay?”
He sighed and stared up at the ceiling for a while, then picked up his e-reader.
I was anxious about his overreaction. But I was reminded that things had moved quickly with my feelings for Lizzy too. I shouldn’t get carried away either. I was excited to see her again and see where things went.
I opened my e-reader to stop worrying about him.
I tapped into my newest download, Lizzy’s latest romance, and took off where I’d started before the dancing.
I was intrigued to get back into it. This afternoon, I’d slipped straight into the story, turning pages at speed, and it had been hard to put my e-reader down before we’d had to head downstairs.
I rarely read fiction, mostly only nonfiction, biographies, and books on economics and politics, and this was the first time I’d been swept into another world so thoroughly.
After a short while, Wills turned off his e-reader, as though he couldn’t concentrate, and placed it on his bedside table.
“Good night, Darcy.” He switched off his reading light and turned to the wall.
“Good night, Wills.” My heart broke a little, and I hoped he would look at this more clearly in the morning.
Eventually, he fell asleep, and though I was worried for him, I found myself drawn back into the novel. The aristocratic Ashford was a hard-drinking, gambling rake, used to bedeviling the womenfolk. Clara was bookish and sheltered, but she was the one woman immune to his cynical charm.
How did Lizzy do it? I knew this couple was going to end up together, so why was I on edge, worried about whether this happy ending was going to happen?
Although, reading this novel next to my sleeping brother was a bit uncomfortable. Some of the scenes were quite hot, and I could tell the experienced Ashford was leading the curious Clara into a full awakening.
Ashford was annoyingly confident and always wore his ruffle shirt’s two top buttons unconventionally undone—what was that all about? And he was being a right wally about committing to Clara.
Do up the buttons, dude, and get a grip.
I hoped the “intelligent, witty” Clara gave him his comeuppance.
I shifted in my bed. But while Ashford came to his senses, the scenes of their encounters were sexy.
Very sexy. Lizzy knew how to build tension.
I couldn’t wait for Ashford and Clara to kiss.
Couldn’t wait for them to start moving their hands over each other’s bodies.
To hit the feather bed. Although, jeez, now it looked like they were going to do it in the open air.
Up against a tree. How was that going to work with all those closings and pantaloons and shit?
Oh, okay. That dude had strong thigh muscles.
Clearly, you can make anything work if you have the desire.
Wonder if I could do that? For sure. Hmm. Might have to boost leg day.
After what seemed like a few minutes, I checked my phone. Two a.m. I had better get to sleep, but I turned back to the screen.
One more page…