34. Lizzy
Lizzy
“Lizzy, why did you want to be a romance writer?” Darcy took a sip of wine and settled into his chair like he truly wanted to hear my answer.
Tabitha, Darcy, and I were having the most relaxing, wonderful dinner in a small study in Darcy’s apartments—duck, and potatoes, corn, tomatoes, and spinach from the estate gardens.
He was a solicitous host, asking if the meal and wine were to our liking and if we were warm enough.
I wondered if he’d asked one of the staff to move a table and chairs in there, so I wouldn’t be overwhelmed by the grandeur of even the apartments.
If so, I appreciated his thoughtfulness.
Maybe I could include that small gesture in my book, if the two characters’ social positions were as lopsided as ours.
Tabitha turned to hear my answer, even though we’d already talked about this, as she was a big reader of my books.
I rested my knife and fork on my plate. I tingled being under Darcy’s penetrating focus, and he made no effort to mask his keen interest in my reply.
“I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t scribbling down stories and making Jane and the neighbor kids act them out on the front lawn.
When we’d have our grand performances—and, of course, charged the mums and dads for coming—the parents always clapped furiously, so I didn’t consider whether the storyline might be a bit rubbish.
I mean, can your pet rabbit spin a gown as silken and glowing as gold? ”
Darcy and Tabitha laughed.
“When did you publish your first book?” Darcy asked, leaning toward me.
“I studied writing at uni, where I met Charlie, who became my agent,” I explained to Darcy, because he hadn’t met her. “We both went on to work for the same publishing house. She sold my first book to our employer.”
“So things happened quickly for you,” he said. “But I’m sure it wasn’t as easy as all that?”
“There were a lot of failed attempts, a stack of manuscripts that ended up in a drawer where they belonged. But the worst thing was dealing with the comments along the way, starting at uni, where I faced a lot of patronizing slagging-off for writing romance rather than something edgier, grittier.”
Darcy shifted uncomfortably. “Oh God. I’m sorry I reminded you of that. I’ve realized what bloody stupid comments I made during our conversation in the kitchen.”
“Thank you, Darcy. I appreciate your saying that.”
Tabitha sighed gently, maybe seeing my forgiveness.
“How did you deal with that sort of judgment?” he asked. “Besides giving them a clip around the ear, like I deserved?”
I laughed a little. “I told them what I tell readers who get shit for reading romance. The world feels unbearably heavy sometimes. Right now, especially. And I don’t have a solution for that.
Writing romance doesn’t mean I’m oblivious.
I see the flames in the world as well as you can.
I feel the pain and torment. But I can only do what I know how to do.
Which is make people smile, fall in love, get lost in my pages.
There is conflict in my books—there has to be—but two people choose to grow and work together to resolve that conflict, and that leads to their happy ending.
And while you’re reading my books, you can rest. You have peace. ”
Silence fell on our little dining room.
Tabitha wiped under her eye. “That’s beautiful, Lizzy.”
Darcy blinked a couple of times. “That is.”
I turned to Darcy. “What about you? How did you end up in your line of work?”
“No boy grows up wanting to be a property developer.” He laughed.
“I’m not exactly bringing anyone moments of peace.
But I am trying to create a community, create local jobs.
The clubhouse is important to me, which is why I had to scramble after the cooking debacle.
You might have heard our biggest donors pulled out after my awful display. ”
“I didn’t know that,” I said. “I’m sorry.”
“My own fault,” he said ruefully. “I was being oblivious.”
“Or obluse?” I teased, echoing my mother’s malapropism.
He gave a sweet, slightly crooked smile, like now we had a secret joke. “That too.”
Tabitha looked back and forth between the two of us and gave a secret little smile of her own.
“Tabitha, I’ve heard Tim talk about how you got into design,” Darcy said. “Sounds like you’ve been doing this a long time too.”
She nodded. “Like Lizzy, since I was little. Building houses in fields using stones and fallen branches and filling the interiors with old bits from Mum and Dad’s barn. Tim helped me. He says I bossed him around mercilessly.”
The tune of “Whatta Man” from Salt-N-Pepa sounded abruptly from her phone.
“Speaking of, this is him,” Tabitha said. “Tim put that ringtone on my cell, by the way. Sorry, I’d like to take this?”
“Of course. Go ahead,” Darcy said, and I waved my agreement.
She pressed Answer and held her phone to her ear.
“Hi, Tim,” Darcy called out. “You really are quite the man.”
Tabitha took a moment to listen to her phone. I heard a distinct “Tell him to fuck off.” Classic Tim.
“Taking that comment in the spirit it was meant,” Darcy said, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “He’s terribly fond of me, really.”
The door clicked shut as Tabitha walked into the hallway.
Darcy moved his plate out of the way and leaned over the table closer to me. “While Tabs is taking that call, I’ve been waiting all night to ask you something.”
“Oh?” I was intrigued.
He went still as if what he had to say mattered. “I would love the chance to get to know you better. I feel like we could have something special, but we need some time together. Just us. Would you like to stay here, at Pemberley, for the week?”
“A week here with you?” I pressed my hand to my chest, floored by his offer.
And flattered. His immediate talk with Wills had cleared the air and set him and Jane on the right path.
During dinner, Darcy had shown genuine interest in me and my writing.
Those actions and behaviors had made my feelings for him even stronger, and I was eager to accept.
There were, however, the logistics. Namely, bedrooms.
“You would have your own bedroom, of course, and nothing expected,” he answered quickly, as though he could see the question on my face. “In fact, I think that’s a good idea. We could work and hang out in a low-stress, everyday kind of setting.”
I suppressed a smile. Pemberley wasn’t an everyday setting.
“Maybe I could show I’m not an absolute wanker.
” He grimaced and laughed. “I will show you I’m not an absolute wanker.
You can do your writing anywhere in the house.
Upstairs in my apartments or maybe downstairs in the small library?
I need to work in my downstairs office, so everyone feels they can interrupt me.
Then maybe late afternoon, we can do a long walk?
I can show you a different part of the grounds every day?
Then dinner on the terrace in the evenings, if it’s fine. ”
Working downstairs in his library, walking in the afternoon, dinner on the terrace. That all sounded wonderful. I could feel this connection between us might be something too, and he was right. In order to give ourselves a chance, we did need to spend more time together.
“That would be lovely, but I feel guilty Tabitha will be staying by herself,” I said.
“She’s more than welcome to stay here too.”
“I’ll ask her. But yes”—my heart picked up in pace—“including the work part. I’ll have deadlines in the day.”
He nodded and searched my face, maybe waiting for me to say something more emotional. He’d been vulnerable with me, and I wanted to let him know this was about more than hitting deadlines. I was already addicted to the way he looked at me.
“I want to spend time with you,” I said, touching his hand gently. “I want to get to know you better. This doesn’t mean we’re a done deal, but I can’t deny my attraction to you, and I’m realizing how much I’ve misjudged you.”
He smiled gently. “I understand. I’ll prove to you I am who I say I am.”
“I best check with Tabitha and make sure she’s okay with that,” I said.
Still buzzing with nerves, I searched the rooms and found Tabs checking her phone in the library.
I perched on the arm of her chair. “Darcy has asked if I can stay the week with him here. Do you want to stay? He invited you too.”
She gave me a slow smile. “You know, I think it’s going to be better if I stay at Rosey Crown’s.
Tim wants to come up tomorrow night—I know, a ridiculous distance.
And I should spend the other evenings making calls to the crew on my show and editing my scripts.
” She poked at my shoulder teasingly. “Do you like Darcy now? Are you okay with this?” She grasped my elbows excitedly.
“Lizzy, I think you two are a good match. He’s very interested in you.
That much was clear at dinner, the way he looks at you like you’re the only thing in the room, the way he asks all those questions about your work. ”
“We had a rocky start. I misjudged him at the inn. He’s not the person I thought he was. Coming here, it’s changed everything for me.”
“Because he has an enormous house?” She gave a cheeky smile.
I laughed. “No. You know I’m not one for stuff and position.”
“I’m teasing.”
“He’s shown a different side of himself.” I could hear my voice go soft and wistful. “We still need to spend more time together to get to know each other, but he’s apologized. He wants to make amends. He has been so open with me, and I-I really like him.”
“Good.” She raised her eyebrows. “How are you feeling about spending the week with him in his home?”
“I’m kind of nervous now. Very nervous.”
“Really? Too nervous?”
I pictured how caring and attentive Darcy had been since we’d reconnected. How things might work out with him or they might not, but not trying seemed scarier to me. “A good kind of nervous. Excited. And we have separate bedrooms, so no pressure.”
She gave a knowing smile.
After dropping Tabitha at the B&B, packing and returning with my bags, Darcy led me up to his apartments on the third floor. “Let me show you your room. You must be tired. It’s been quite the day.”
“It has.”
He guided me inside up the carpeted stairs. At the end of the hallway, he opened the door to a large, airy room in neutral silk and linens with views over the fountain. “You should have everything you need, but ask if you don’t. If you want laundry done, leave it in the hamper in the bathroom.”
I took a step into the room as he parked my overnight bag inside the doorway. This beautiful bedroom and laundry too? “Gosh, you should have led with the laundry thing. Forget pecs and abs—complimentary wash and fold make a man irresistible.”
He laughed. “Good. I need every advantage I can get.”
He stayed in the doorway as I took another step into the room. I turned around, and he dipped his head quite shyly and shoved his hands into his pockets.
We stood there staring at each other. He didn’t try to kiss me, but a deep longing radiated from him. Yearning for his touch burned slow and hot in my chest.
“Goodnight, Lizzy. See you in the morning.” He shoved his hands farther into his pockets as though trying to keep his distance. “I’m so happy you’re here.”
I tipped my head to one side, feeling like I was in a dream. “I’m so happy I’m here too. Goodnight.”