Eighteen #2
My brows furrowed, taking the box from his grip. “Aren’t you coming?”
“No, I was going to head home.” He cleared his throat, his tone formal. “Unless you need anything else, my lady?”
“No…” I shook my head, a rush of disappointment and apprehension crashing into my chest. The huge palace behind me loomed with emptiness and silence.
I had never had a problem with being alone; I thrived off it actually, but as night crept heavily in, I didn’t want to be by myself with time to think about today or my future.
Longing to hold on to the peace I felt a little longer, the lightness in my chest, the smile on my face, my mouth moved without my guidance. “Will you stay? Eat with me?”
Lennox’s eyes found mine for a moment, no emotion on his face. The extra beat of silence had chagrin overflooding off my tongue.
“I mean, if you have plans, then I totally understand. Duh. You probably have a date…” I scoffed, rubbing my temple. “Plus, why would you want to spend more time here when you don’t need to? Totally ignore me…”
Lennox watched me flop around like a dying fish. What was wrong with me? Today had really spooked me. Got me all rattled and vulnerable.
“Never mind.” I gripped the box, trying to gain some sort of self-composure. “Have a good night.” I turned around, briskly walking for the door, my cheeks burning.
“Spencer.” His gravelly voice scaled up my spine, spasming my lungs. I looked back to see him shutting off the car, climbing out. “I actually did buy it. And I’m starving.”
A smile wobbled my mouth, watching him stroll up to me. “Technically, RH bought it.”
“The least they could do. I had a trying day with my charge.” He grabbed the box from my fingers, strutting past me into the residence.
I stared after him, my chest tightening with a mix of feelings.
It felt like I was doing something wrong, but I couldn’t stop myself from following him into the kitchen.
He tossed the box on the counter, pulling his jacket off his broad shoulders, his T-shirt tight against his ripped torso, swelling my throat. Fuck. He really was dangerously sexy.
Trying to shove the sensation away, I went to the fridge, grabbing two beers and popping them open.
“Thanks.” He nodded, taking one from me. Awkwardness weeded through the room so thick I wished I hadn’t asked him to stay. It would be lonely with just me and the pizza, but at least I’d be comfortable.
I jumped on the counter, flipping open the pizza box and diving in. Gooey cheese strung between the slices, steam rising, swirling the delicious smell of sauce, bread, veggies, and pepperoni. My stomach cried out in desperation, my mouth salivating as I dropped the first bite on my tongue.
“Oh god…” I moaned, tipping my head back. “Bloody hell, that’s good.”
“Hungry?” Lennox snickered, sitting down on a stool, taking a long swig of beer.
“Either I was hungrier than I thought, or this pizza is seriously up there with orgasm material.”
Choking over his beer, a genuine chuckle came from him, filling the room. Just like him, it was husky and deep, sparking a giddiness through me. To get this man to actually laugh felt like a victory.
“Sorry. You weren’t ready for that?” I wiggled proudly on the counter, taking another bite of pizza.
He patted his chest, clearing his throat, shaking his head. “No. Not really.”
As if I had bested him in chess, I smiled smugly to myself, chewing on the disappearing slice.
He grabbed a wedge from the box, his eyebrow curving up. “No chairs, no plates?” He chomped down on his piece, his eyes glinting at me, rolling down my figure perched on the counter, one leg tucked under me. “So improper, Duchess.” I had a feeling that moniker was going to stick.
“Exactly.” I grinned mischievously. “When it’s forced down your throat since birth, you become very good at playing a part, but behind the scenes… completely uncivilized.”
“Really?” An eyebrow curved up, causing my stomach to leap around like a drunk frog, realizing the implications of what I said.
He cleared his throat, staring down at his slice.
“You seem to be the only one.” He inhaled half his pizza in one bite. “Some give in to it. Could you ever imagine the queen, even all alone, putting on sweats and eating ice cream straight from the carton? Burping? Farting?”
I snorted out a laugh at that last one. No. I couldn’t. Even when it was just the two of us, Theo still ate everything with utensils and off a plate. Drove me nuts when he cut his pizza into tiny bites, eating with a knife and fork.
“Well, I was never any good at being a noble anyway. Not that my family is even considered that to most in the upper-class circle.”
“Compared to mine?” He snorted. “No one is crying a river for you.”
“I never asked them to.” I wiped my hands on a serviette, taking a sip of beer.
“I know how lucky I am. I went to the best school in the country, never had to worry about my next meal or where I’d lay my head down at night.
But don’t mistake having that title for money and freedoms. Titles only lock you in a tighter prison. ”
“So does poverty.” His gaze met mine, forcing my gaze down to the counter.
“But I get it. Believe me. The world only sees the glamor of it. The storybook version. The fairy tale of having a royal title placed before your name. They don’t see that you are no longer a person, but property.
For someone like Theo and Eloise, it’s easier.
They don’t know anything else. But for an outsider?
Just being a bodyguard, the limitations and control they have over my life…
I can’t imagine how much more you have it.
Not only what you can and can’t do, but the brutal and constant criticism.
You are dammed either way, while Theo is praised. ”
Staring at the marble design on the table, my throat closed. It wasn’t like I was asking for sympathy. I had made a choice, but it was still nice to know someone saw the true situation. Noticed.
“I’m scared.” My tongue slid over my lip, tasting a bit of sauce. “That my love for Theo won’t be enough. That this place will break me.”
“You are far too stubborn for anything to break you.” He tipped back his bottle, drinking.
My gaze scoured over him. “I want to believe that. That I will learn to ignore the media, to not care what awful things they say about me.”
“Did you die?”
“Huh?”
He flicked his head at me. “Did you die after reading the comments today? No. You got up and went to volunteer at a shelter.” He shrugged one shoulder. “Granted, you stupidly tried to go around me, turning it into a fucking mess.”
“So not helping.”
“What I meant,” he chuckled, “is that you right away knew how to counter it. You didn’t curl in a ball and die. You got up and dealt with the negativity. Give yourself a break. This is still new to you. To both of us. We will figure it out, and every day it will get easier.”
“Wow.” I played with the label of the beer. “You should get into motivational speaking.”
“Shut up.” He picked up a hunk of broccoli from the box, chucking it at me.
“Hey!” I laughed, catching the piece and tossing it into my mouth. “I’m not kidding. That was beautiful. Touching, but at the same time inspirational.” I pretended to wipe a fake tear.
“Jesus, woman.” He snorted, finishing his beer. “Brutal…”
“Oh, poor Lennox. A woman actually daring to challenge your arse instead of trying to ride it.” The moment the tease left my mouth, I wanted to shove it back in. It was meant to be silly and playful, but when his heavy hazel eyes snapped to me, it felt extremely inappropriate.
Flirty.
A few seconds passed before he looked away, rising from his seat. Even with my humiliation, a deep fear he was going to leave shot my back up straight, my protest on my lips.
“Want another beer?” he muttered, strolling over to the fridge.
“Yeah.” My body sagged with relief.
It’s just because it’s creepy here on your own. You’d want anyone to stay with you.
Lennox grabbed two more beers, opening them and sliding one to me.
“Thanks.”
“After the day you’ve had, maybe I should be offering tequila.”
“Think I’ll wait for a truly tequila worthy day.” I downed some of my beer. “Sadly, I don’t think today even came close.”
“No… I think you’re right.” He nodded, standing on the other side of the counter, his physique taking up so much space. I could feel it loom over me, his heat brushing my skin. “Just promise me you won’t go behind my back again. No matter what. I am supposed to keep you safe. Let me do my job.”
Swallowing, I nodded.
“Now.” He turned back for the fridge, grabbing two more beers. “Let’s take that pizza to the movie room and get drunk.”
“Don’t you want to get home?”
“I’ll just stay tonight in the room they have for me.” He nodded for me to grab the box, curving for the doorway.
“You have a room here?” I hopped down, grabbing the pizza and following him.
“Yeah.” He said nonchalantly. “The room across from yours.”
“What?” I stumbled over the rug, my throat going dry. “Across. From. Mine?” How did I not know that?
“Need to be close in case something happens. So I can get you out.”
I understood the logistics of it, but the awareness that his bedroom was so close to mine ran an uncomfortable sensation over my skin.
I didn’t feel safe around him…
Not because he would do anything or he couldn’t protect me. No, this was something far more petrifying.