Twenty-One
My mobile buzzed in my hand for the third time that morning, Landen’s name scrolling at the top.
“You can call him back.” Chloe plucked the cell out of my hand, handing it to my newly acquired assistant behind me.
“Bu-but…” I tried to reach back for my phone, my legs moving quickly down the hallway, trying to keep up with her. “It’s Landen.”
“You can talk to him later. Right now, you are late for a fitting. The king’s birthday is next week, as you know, probably watching it on telly since you were little.” Stab. “It’s the event of the year, and we are late getting your dress tailored.”
I pinched my mouth, picking up my pace. Landen would understand. It wasn’t even like I had time for my own mother’s calls lately.
Two months had passed since my shelter debacle, and I still felt like I was being punished by the PR team. Chloe said they moved on, but she still treated me like a child. Against the rules, usually waiting until Theo and I would be engaged, she had me take on a personal assistant early.
Heidi. Young. Smart. But as uptight and controlling as Chloe, her personality hidden behind ordering me around and being constantly on me for something.
Sometimes that meant getting me up at dawn to work out, part of my new “stay thin” agenda at the prison—I mean palace.
I disliked her. A lot.
She trailed behind Chloe and me like a shadow, taking calls, texting, receiving orders from Chloe like they were law, and constantly staring down at her pad with a frown.
“This evening is the Victoria Steeplechase.”
Our country was one of the only ones that had a huge horse jumping race in the autumn.
It was the occasion that set the stage for the upcoming events in spring.
Some were veterans, but most owners were trying out a brand-new horse, getting them introduced to the racing scene.
It was fun, an event where you saw the royals be more relaxed and casual.
It started out because Theo’s great-grandfather didn’t want to wait for spring.
Guess he was a bit of a gambler and loved all horse races.
Hmmm. Wonder where Eloise got her love of gambling from? Ran in the family.
“Her outfit for tonight is getting pressed right now. Will be in her room in two hours,” Heidi inserted, slightly out of breath. Her phone rang, icing my neck with the shrill tone.
“Oh, that’s the editor at Vogue. She wants to do an exclusive with Spencer. I’m going to take this.” She stopped walking. “Madeline, hello!”
Vogue Magazine? Did I even get a say in this?
Chloe didn’t even pause, curving us down a corridor like she was skating on ice, gliding into her office.
“We have notes for you.” She didn’t even miss a step, grabbing a folder off her desk and tossing it to me.
“What you should say. Things you cannot say. And customs and traditions, which, should you break, would be horrendously embarrassing to you and the royal house. Please read up on them.” She looked at me pointedly.
“We’ve just gotten past the other blunder. Let’s not have a repeat.” Stab.
I nodded, opening it, observing more than twenty pages of small print typing. Dry, old, and boring as hell. I used to love to study and read about history. This place had cured me of that.
There was a lot I used to love but had grown used to being without.
Like freedom.
I had even seen it from up close, saw what it was like, this gilded cage, and still, I stepped in. Though no one can ever prepare you for the reality of it.
It only strengthened my aversion to the entire world’s notion about the happily ever after crap because you fell in love with the prince.
I could guarantee any girl who’d bitch me out, saying she’d give anything to switch spots with me, would be rethinking that once she was here.
It was cruel, demanding, isolating, controlling, and tiring. Not to say it didn’t have its perks, but those were nothing I couldn’t live without.
Theo was why I was here.
It’s just an adjustment period. Soon this will be normal for you. Your life.
A squeeze in my chest had me slamming the folder closed; my feet needed to move.
“Anything else?” I quipped, standing up.
“Yes.” Heidi’s voice spun me around. She had slunk back in soundlessly, standing near the door. “A stylist will be in your room at four. The car will be out front at quarter to five on the dot. You will be arriving at the arena at five thirty for pre-event cocktails and press pictures.”
“Do not speak with The Victoria Daily. I’m still not happy with how Greg covered your incident,” Chloe piped in, frowning. Telling us to ignore certain press was her way of passive-aggressively punishing the press, getting them back in line.
A buzz sounded in Heidi’s hand, her eyes dropping to my phone, shutting it off.
“Who was that?”
“Doesn’t matter. You can call them back later.” Chloe motioned for me to go. “You have an etiquette lesson soon, and I have a lot to do.”
Holding the folder to my chest, I gritted my teeth, marching out of the room before I let my tongue off its leash. Pissing off Chloe was never going to work in my favor.
Irritation had me hurrying down the hall, not really thinking about where I was going.
Theo was gone for the afternoon, and Eloise was with her tutor.
She talked her parents into letting her leave university up north and be privately tutored at home, saying she wanted to spend more time with her family.
In honesty, she didn’t like school, saying she always felt she couldn’t trust anyone there, everyone befriending her because she was a princess, not because they liked her.
She had to be her image. On. She preferred being here around Theo and their friends, and me.
And I couldn’t deny I had enjoyed her here.
She had saved me many nights I had thought about using the bedsheets to help me shimmy down the drainpipe.
The empty hallways thumped with the sound of my heels striking the carpet. Knowing the maze of hallways like the back of my hand, I followed them to the private gardens. The air was crisp and cold. I wrapped my sweater around me, stepping out onto the path and taking in a deep breath.
The smell of wet mulching leaves and a hint of the car fumes that slipped over the wall mixed in my nose. The garden was my place. None of the royal family ever came out here. It was the only place I felt at peace.
Gazing down at my shoes, my nose wrinkled. I hated high heels. Always had, preferring riding boots or my chucks. But it was another thing I found myself wearing all the time now. Another thing I gave in to because it was easier. Just like the demure dress I was wearing.
Kicking them off, the damp gravel wiggled through my toes, the dirt grounding me, digging into my soles as I walked to the pond.
Staring at the glassy water, I had the urge to fall into it, letting it take me under.
To be nothing for a moment. No voices telling me what to do or say, not even the one in my head telling me I wasn’t good enough to be here. To float away.
Pulling up my dress to my knees, I stepped into the icy water. A shiver darted up my limbs, hitching my breath. But I liked it.
I felt alive. Present.
“Very improper, my lady.” A deep voice yanked a gasp from my lips, twisting me around. “Plus, you’re scaring the fish.”
“Jesus. You scared me.” I patted my chest, the tension running through my body only twisting higher, a flutter walloping through my stomach to my chest. “How do you always sneak up on me like that?”
Lennox leaned against a tree a few meters away, dressed in a tailored suit, looking sexy as hell, a mobile in his hand.
“Since I was here first, you actually snuck up on me.” His eyebrow curved. “Though I can’t say I didn’t stay quiet hoping you’d consider skinny-dipping.”
A laugh barked from me, not ready for his response.
“Too cold.” I grinned, our eyes catching. “But check back with me in summer.”
“I will.” His gaze didn’t desert mine.
It was two words. A meaningless reply. But it felt anything but.
Heat shot up my spine, scratching at my neck where my pulse pounded against my skin. I dropped my head, my lungs filling up, my attention to the swirl of water I created with my foot.
“I should go,” he said after a moment, jolting my heart with a strange panic.
“You haven’t been around much.” The claim burst from me, my arms wrapping around my waist.
Since our day riding, we had kept a wide orbit around each other. He was there for big events outside the palace, but for a few smaller ones, Dalton had put another guard on me. When I asked, Theo said something about him needing to attend to family stuff.
We had barely interacted besides a few words here and there. His stoic, impersonal facade was firmly back in place. I was a duty.
Most of the time, I convinced myself that he had the right approach. We were nothing more than bodyguard and charge, but I couldn’t deny that absurdly I missed him. Getting him to genuinely laugh or smile was like a high.
I also ached to go riding with him. I would assure myself that it was because Theo was busy, and we had horses in common, but the flutter in my stomach would try to suggest something else.
I didn’t think about the fact he might be seeing Katy…
nope. And I didn’t notice Hazel around him all the time at events.
“I had some personal things to deal with.” He pushed off the tree, a barrier falling, closing off any expression. “Your safety was never in jeopardy.”
My brows furrowed as I stepped out of the pond, my numb feet not feeling the gravel as I traveled to him.
“That’s not what I meant.” I licked my lips, twisting my hands together. “I just meant that…” Fuck, what did I mean? What was I trying to say? “I noticed you were gone. And I was worried.”
“Nothing for you to be concerned about, my lady,” he replied formally, but his fingers gripped his cell, his knuckles turning white.