Twenty-Five
“Landen… pick up. Pick up,” I hissed into the mobile, my feet moving back and forth, indenting the same ten meters as I paced over the wet grass, my brain rolling over and over what just happened. I needed to hear his voice. His advice.
His cell continued to ring, going to voicemail.
Since I knew he never listened to messages, I hung up, texting him to call me.
My uncle might want to keep this a secret, but Landen and I shared everything.
We always had each other’s backs. He and I had a promise since we were kids.
Above our parents, our loyalty to each other came first.
At least it used to.
Guilt coated my throat, sliding down into my stomach.
Since moving here, my relationship with both him and Mina had ebbed.
Life here had taken over everything. I had yet to get my feet steady on the ground.
The flat I wanted to get, the clothes more in my style?
Somewhere I stopped asking and just wore what they told me, staying where they told me.
Dialing another number, I waited.
“Hello?” my friend clipped out over the line, sounding slightly out of breath.
“Mina…” My hand went to my chest, emotion flooding the back of my eyes at hearing her voice.
“Spencer?” Her voice went soft for a beat before she cleared her throat. “Wow. Wasn’t expecting to get a call from you. It must be my lucky day.” Every syllable dripped with resentment. “What do I owe the honor of our future princess?”
“Excuse me?” My brows furrowed. I had witnessed her attitude turned on others, but never me. She and I were always on the same page. Snarky to the rest of the world.
“Sorry, but kind of in a hurry right now.” The sound of a deep clock bell tolled from somewhere behind her.
“Well, sorry I bothered you.” My defense slammed back. “I’ll call back when things aren’t so busy for you.”
“Oh, that’s ironic.” She laughed dryly. “Spencer.” She exhaled, tiny edges smoothing out. “I’m sorry. But honestly, I had kind of given up hearing from you. Your life is not even remotely in the same realm mine is.”
“What does that mean? We can’t be friends because I’m with Theo?”
“You’re not just with Theo, the casual guy in school.
You are with the Prince of Great Victoria.
The future king. I get it. Your world has changed.
But… I used to be your best friend, your first call.
Now I know more about you from social media than I actually know from you.
” The sounds of people bustling around her muted her slightly.
“Or you know about me. You know the world doesn’t revolve around the royals. ”
“I know that,” I snapped.
“Do you? I know everything there must seem far more important than us commoners.”
“You are hardly common. You’re father’s an earl.”
Mina went silent for a moment. “When was the last time you rang me? We saw each other?” Crap.
I couldn’t recall the last time I actually spoke with her on the phone.
I thought about it all the time, but something always pushed it down on the list. Event.
PR. Interview. Something always came up.
“Did you even know that I got into the University of Victoria?”
“What?” I gasped. That was the school she always dreamed about going to but didn’t think she had the grades to get in. “Mina, that’s amazing.”
“I tried to call you a dozen times. Even texted to tell you the news.”
“I never got them.” A burning of guilt zinged up between my eyes. “I was given a new phone by RH PR.” Months ago. “And my assistant takes it from me whenever she can.”
“Assistants. Royal House PR.” She clicked her tongue. “I remember when you hated all that stuff. When you and I used to make fun of them. Now you are one of them.”
“I’m not.”
“Yes, you are, Spencer. No matter what you think. The moment you stepped into the palace and became Theo’s official girlfriend, you accepted it.
Now the news feed is filled with your new best friends, Princess Eloise and Hazel.
Events where you and Theo look like you’re cut out of catalogues with perfect smiles and outfits.
The girl I knew who wore chucks and rode horses through the mud is no longer.
This is who you are now. And I understand.
That’s your world. Theo. Royal events and charities, what you wear, what you say, how you wave, smile.
But I can’t deny I miss my friend who used to wrinkle her nose to all that stuff.
Who used to be so passionate about animals and guilted the rest of us to become vegans.
Protested, volunteered, or fundraised every weekend.
Who dreamed of saving animals, traveling to Africa, going to vet school. ”
“I’m still her,” I refuted, defensive anger boiling under my skin.
“Are you?
“Are you?” I slapped back. “We all change and grow up, Mina. Life doesn’t always turn out how we plan. I love Theo and being with him comes with sacrifices. I still love animals and will do all I can, but I don’t think that makes me less of a person.”
“No.” She blew out. “But it makes you less of the Spencer I thought I knew.”
My mouth dropped, tears sizzling the back of my lids.
“Look, I need to get to class. I am happy for you, and I will always want the best for you. I just don’t know if I can be okay with being a sometime friend. I think I need to take a step back for a moment.”
“Mina…”
“Between losing you and Landen, I just can’t right now.”
“Landen? What do you mean by losing?”
“You don’t know?”
“Know what?” I growled.
“Your uncle sent him off early to military school. He’s been there four weeks now.”
I stared at a bit of frost melting under my feet, shock stilling me. I had just seen my uncle, and he had said nothing. Neither did my mother or dad.
“Landen tried to call you over and over to tell you.”
I locked down my jaw, trying to hold back the rush of grief. He needed me, and I wasn’t there.
“He’s in training, and I guess can’t talk right now, but he said he’d be back for Christmas.”
I couldn’t speak, my words bunching up in my throat.
“I’ve gotta go.” Mina’s voice went soft, sounding like my friend. “I’m sorry, Spence. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
“Okay,” I croaked.
“Bye.” Mina hung up before I could respond.
Tears of anger, guilt, and stress curved my spine as emotion slid down my face. Everything weighed down on my shoulders. I had lost my best friend, my family, my house, my dreams, my independence.
Loving Theo came with a huge price tag. At one time, I thought no matter what it would be worth the cost, but now I was wondering how much I’d have to lose before I completely lost myself.
Wiping the tears, I gathered myself together, shoving back my emotions.
It terrified me how quickly I regained my composure, a little voice asking how long it would be until I turned into Catherine or the dowager queen, Anne.
When I would become so good at hiding me, I actually never felt anything anymore.
Patting my hair down and straightening my sweater, I started to stroll for the door, my feet stumbling at the sight of a figure leaning on a tree nearby, holding a mug in his hand.
Oh, hell no.
I was in no way ready to deal with him.
“Go away, Lennox.” I gritted my teeth, continuing to walk. Thoughts of him and Hazel together dug my nails into my palms, filling my belly with bile. “You are not needed right now.”
“Even if I provide coffee?” He lifted his eyebrow, stretching out his arm with the cup.
Dressed in his fitted suit, his hair damp from a shower, my chest fluttered, my eyes curving over the area I knew a tattoo was hidden underneath.
Flashes of his taut rear licked at my mind, heating every inch of my skin.
“Thought you might need it after last night.”
“Don’t you need the extra caffeine this morning?” My tongue lashed out. Stepping up to him, his clean and warm scent washed over me. “I would think you’d be exhausted.”
He straightened off the tree, peering down at me, his jaw setting.
“I mean… pursuing us all night. Must have been strenuous.” I couldn’t seem to stop, my tone bitter, implying, and condescending. “Though it seems Hazel got the most benefit.” I tilted my head, my chest almost brushing his torso. “Sleep well?”
His gaze went back and forth between mine. “I did. But I do after vigorous nights… of work.” A hint of ire brushed over him. “Did you, Duchess? I hope you weren’t kept awake by loud noises.”
Fuck him. Shoving past him, fury ignited in my gut, spreading like wildfire.
“You’re welcome, by the way,” he shot after me, spin-ning me around.
“What the hell do I have to thank you for?”
“You girls were so high you missed that the press had found you out as well. Guess your identities, even in that place, couldn’t go unnoticed.
You would have woken up to your photos smeared across the papers and social media.
And you do not hide drunk and high well.
” He ambled up to me, forcing my head to go back.
He leaned in, hitching my lungs, his mouth brushing by my ear.
“What do you remember about last night, Duchess?”
“Everything.” Lie. “I was in complete control.”
“Oh, you recall me putting you to bed? Though you were more determined to give me a striptease than sleep.”
“I did not!” I jerked back, my cheeks heating with a sudden blurry inkling of me using the bedframe like a stripper pole. Oh. Holy. Fuck.
His lips tightened into a thin smile. “Needs work, but if this gig ever falls through, you could probably make a mediocre living at it.”
“Mediocre?” The word stabbed me like a dagger. What? Was I not sexy enough to strip? Jesus, Spence, listen to yourself…
“You need a lot more training.” He set the coffee in my hand and moved by me. I couldn’t stop myself from watching his backside walk toward the house.
“Oh, and Duchess, you are needed in the breakfast room,” he said before he slipped inside.
My skin sticky and heated, my body already exhausted by the ups and downs of the morning, it took me a moment to get my breath. Only an hour in and this day had been a bitch, and for some reason, I had this feeling in my gut it was only going to get worse.