Chapter 28
Cat
“It’s falling apart,” Tor barked just as I reached them, my teeth gritted against the swirl of dizziness. “We can’t hold it like this, we need more magic.”
“Use mine,” I volunteered, breathless as I knelt beside Pain, catching his face in both hands and searching his eyes. They were hazy, dull with pain, and a past knowledge whispered that being the personification of pain didn’t make him immune to physical hurt.
I kissed the space between his brows and rose, feeling a little clearer. “I have all this magic,” I said, meeting Tor’s eyes, then Miz’s and Death’s. “Let me help.”
Tor groaned. “You can give fucking sips of magic, you hear me? No more. Nothing substantial. At the first sign of weakness, you stop. Understood?”
“So bossy,” I sighed, and yelped when he grabbed my chin, his expression unyielding.
“I understand.”
“Good girl.” He kissed my temple and released me. “See where the shield’s turning ragged? Pour your magic—slowly, carefully—into the gaps. Remember what I said, sips only.”
It hit me like a bright star to the chest. Tor’s glaring and growling and orders were all signs of love. Before I could question it, I threw my arms around him and squeezed tight.
“Okay. Sips only.”
“Same applies to you, Mr Self-Sacrificing,” Tor said, an eyebrow raised at Death.
“I’m fine,” Death bit out, a honed edge in his voice that hadn’t been there yesterday. “Worry about yourself.”
I got the sense Tor would have crossed his arms over his chest if his hands weren’t occupied pouring magic into the shield to keep Violence out. Because the last thing we needed was Violence getting even more power, and if he turned these creatures against us, it would be disastrous.
I stepped up between Tor and Miz and cupped an inner hand into my pool of death magic, pulling enough out that darkness filled my palms. I wasted no time urging it into the shield, right where it had worn apart like Tor said.
Repair, I commanded the power. Strengthen the shield, and burn the shit out of Violence if he tries to get in.
Vengeful and hungry, my magic leapt to obey with an eagerness for Violence’s suffering that made me smile.
“If you’re fine,” Tor remarked, “why are you wearing that much darkness?”
“Fashion choice,” Death muttered.
“I like it,” Madde piped up, flourishing his hands as an effortless stream of power stretched from him to the shield, expanding the boundary, dancing over mine to patch the frayed edges.
“It gives you a mysterious gothic edge, like a sexy Dracula. Although… I guess Dracula was sexy to begin with. That’s how he got so many bitches. ”
Pain choked on a laugh. “I don’t think you can call his vampire brides bitches.”
“Ah. Good point. I’d never call my bride a bitch. I’d call her a wonder and a gift and a blessing and the best thing to ever happen to me.”
My heart melted.
“And scary as hell,” Madde added with dark glee. “Can you kill someone today, my lioness? It makes me so hard.”
“Uh, maybe?” I kept my focus on the shield, the magic solidifying into something secure. “The night’s still young, I guess.”
If I saw Violence again, I wouldn’t hesitate to murder him.
“You’re slurring,” Misery noted, his voice a whip crack. “Cat, pull back.”
“Mmfi—” Oh shit, I was slurring. “Fine,” I finished, though that came out sticky and slow.
“Yeah, that’s the word of the fucking day,” Tor muttered. “Madde, close the shield here.”
“On it, Cap’n.” Madde saluted before throwing so much magic into the ward that the hairs rose on my arms.
I wavered on my feet, stumbling into Death. His warmth hit me like drugging comfort and I sighed, daring to ask, “Will you hold me?”
That memory of his arms around me had stuck with me ever since I saw it, a balm to the memories of fear and torture.
I peered up at Death when he hesitated, and even though my vision was a little hazy I didn’t like the miserable apology in his eyes. “Little bride,” he said in a rasp, rough with an emotion I couldn’t place.
I blinked, not sure why a sudden twinge of pain joined the sickly feeling of rejection. The bond—there was a crash of wind through the usually calm forest, and my stomach dropped. Something was wrong.
“Why won’t you hold me?” I whispered, hoping my words didn’t carry to the others. “Death?”
His throat bobbed, the pain in his eyes intensifying.
“You can’t,” I realised, a stone sinking into my gut. “You can’t. Why can’t you?”
Death shook his head, blinking fast. “I’m sorry.”
When I inhaled, the air cut like shards of ice in my lungs. “Show me. Death, please. Show me.”
“Show you what?” Pain got unsteadily to his feet, glancing between us, confusion and dread pinching his brow. He brushed my shoulder with a light touch but the comfort didn’t pierce the daggers of panic carving me apart.
“Death.” Misery came closer, the raw, brittle quality of his voice making the hurt in my chest worse. He didn’t snap or snarl demands; his expression was pleading, desperate. “What’s Cat talking about?”
“Show me,” I said hoarsely, holding Death’s gaze. When he only stared at us helplessly, I bit out, “Show. Me.”
The panic had grown teeth and sank into me like a bear trap, drawing blood. I grabbed Death’s shoulders, dark smoke rising from the cloak of shadow he’d worn for days. The black hole of missing memories no longer mattered when I knew I loved him, and something was very badly wrong.
“I didn’t want you to know,” he said, looking from me to the others. My breath strangled in my throat when he sighed in defeat and ripped away the cloak of shadow, revealing slow moving white mist and—
“Death,” I choked out, my hand shaking on his shoulder.
“Jesus fuck,” Tor blurted, pain clear in his voice as he stared at the empty space where Death’s arms and his left leg should be. A column of shadow propped up his knee in the place of a prosthetic.
“How?” Miz demanded hoarsely. “How did we not know this? How could you keep this from us?”
Death gave him a helpless stare. “I’m sorry.”
“We’ll undo this,” Tor said with such unwavering confidence that for a moment I believed him. “We’ll find a fucking way.”
His words made me jump, and I scrambled for the list in my pocket. “A kiss to save a death,” I breathed, waving the paper at my husbands. “A kiss to save Death.”
“You’ve kissed me, little bride,” Death said sadly, defeat in the slump of his shoulders, the slant of his eyes.
I didn’t care. I slid my hands around his neck and kissed him hard, breathless with hope. The list crumpled in my hand as I waited, prayed, pleaded with the universe, with the balance of life and death, with the scales in my pocket.
But when I dropped my heels back to the floor, nothing had changed.
“No, I can fix this,” I insisted before anyone could speak, clearing my throat to dislodge the knot stuck there. “I can save you, I just need the right kiss—”
“Cat,” Death breathed, resting his forehead against mine, shadows sweeping back around him, hiding the decay. “It’s alright.”
“It’s not.” I reached into the shadows draped over him and kissed him again, and again, growing in desperation each time. “This should be working! Everything else on the list has worked.”
It wasn’t fair. It was cruel how my feelings for these men had just begun to return, and now I might lose Death. None of this was fair. This kiss should have worked.
“What now?” I asked, my voice hollow as I looked up at Death, at the others.
“What’s next on your list, lioness?” Madde asked, settling his arms around me from behind.
“A stone to summon spirits home,” I said without looking. I’d memorised every word of the list. Why hadn’t I realised the kiss was for Death earlier? Could I have saved him if I’d figured it out days ago?
“There’s a summoning circle not too far from here,” Pain informed us. “It’s on Hunger’s estate.”
If I ticked off everything on the list, if we stopped Violence stealing more power for himself, could we save Death? It was the only hope I could think of.
“Let me say goodbye to my brother,” I murmured, deflated. “And then we’ll go.”