Chapter 36
Thirty-Six
“What are you doing?” I grumble. Peeking one eye open in the early-morning light, I watch Ryan pull a hoodie over his head. “You never wake up first.”
Leaning over, he brushes the hair from my face and kisses my temple. “Go back to sleep. It’s still early. I’m going to go for a quick run before we have breakfast and drive back to Emerley.”
Inhaling his citrusy scent, I close my eyes and snuggle deeper under the heavy duvet. “Be careful. Don’t get eaten by a bear.”
“I’ll do my best,” he snickers. “See you soon.”
I doze in and out of sleep for I don’t know how long before my bladder decides I need to get up. I slip out of bed naked and pad across the cool hardwood floor to the bathroom.
On the way back, I grab Ryan’s T-shirt from the floor and quickly throw it over my head.
I hesitate for a moment before retrieving my phone from my purse.
It’s been almost a full day unplugged. This is a personal record for me, so I don’t feel guilty for wanting to do some mindless scrolling to see what I missed on social media while I wait for Ryan to get back.
Jumping back into bed, I pull the blankets around me and turn it on. And instantly regret it. I should have locked it in the truck or given it to Ryan to hold on to.
There are multiple missed calls and messages, all from my father, followed by one text message directing me to check my email.
Do I listen to his messages or save myself some grief and read what’s on his mind?
I worked with Jenna for months in setting boundaries with my parents.
I don’t want to cut them out of my life completely, but all our interactions are now on my terms. Steeling myself, I open the lengthy email.
Beck,
Since you will not answer my phone calls, I have resorted to corresponding with you by email.
Imagine my shock and embarrassment when I received a phone call from Braden telling me you had called the police on him. He is absolutely devastated that you made up such vicious lies.
I pinch the bridge of my nose and close my eyes. I should have seen this coming. Of course he would call my father. He needs an ally. Why not choose someone who is already critical of my life choices?
Your mother and I never understood why you would break up with such a good man. You were together for years, and we assumed marriage and children were the next logical step. We thought that once you came to your senses, you would reconcile and move forward.
Good man, my ass. I wish I had gotten to experience the good man. Not the version of him I got. He certainly has them fooled.
Prior to your latest stunt, he expressed that he would be willing to try again despite being so hurt. I no longer believe this to be true. You have broken his heart.
What heart?
He believes your friends are influencing your poor decisions. They are poisoning you against him. Did you know they continue to harass him daily?
My nose flares, and I grind my teeth. Nobody knows how many times I lied. Minimized the truth and buried my feelings, so Braden wouldn’t look like an asshole. I protected his nice-guy image for far too long.
It has gotten so bad that it is affecting his mental health, and he’s considering moving to a new town.
If you truly don’t want to be in a relationship with him, quit giving him mixed signals.
Yes, he told me you were flirting with him over text.
Let him move on and find happiness with someone new who recognizes his value.
You’ve got to be kidding me. I swallow my anger as I continue to read.
Even though it shouldn’t surprise me, he said you’re sleeping with your therapist.
I toss my phone on the nightstand without finishing reading. What the fuck. Why would he tell my parents that? Why drag Ryan into this? For one, it’s not true, but rumours like that could destroy his reputation.
By the time I get out of bed and get dressed, I’m fuming. How dare he talk to my parents and make up lies about me? Threaten my relationship. It may be new, but it’s the healthiest relationship I’ve ever had.
Quickly checking the time, I shove my phone in my back pocket and walk towards the kitchen to see if Ryan’s back from his run. If not, I can at least make coffee so it will be ready for him. I can’t wait for him to read this email—there’s no way I’m keeping it from him.
As I approach, I can hear hushed voices. I don’t want to interrupt a private conversation, so maybe I should wait in the bedroom until Ryan comes to get me. I’m about to leave when I hear my name. Pausing, I stand out of sight just beyond the door and listen.
“When you told me she looked like Lily, I thought you were exaggerating,” William says.
“I know.”
“Her long black hair. Her bright blue eyes. Even some of her mannerisms.”
“When I first met her, it was like seeing a ghost. But other than appearance, they don’t have much in common.”
“How are you feeling about all this?” his granddad asks, concern in his voice. “You always said a relationship wasn’t something you wanted.”
I shouldn’t be listening to this. Not waiting for Ryan’s response, I quickly turn to leave and bump into a table.
An ornamental vase topples, and thankfully I catch it before it shatters into a million pieces on the floor.
It would probably take an entire year’s worth of wages to replace it.
I’m still holding it when Ryan rounds the corner to investigate.
“Hey.” He grins, glancing down at the vase. “Are you okay?”
“Oh, yeah. Sorry. Just clumsy,” I say, carefully placing it back on the table and stepping away.
“I was going to come and get you. Are you hungry? Granddad was saying he was thinking about making French toast.”
“Actually, I’m not feeling great. I have a headache, and I feel nauseous,” I say, dropping my hands over my stomach. “Do you think we can skip breakfast and go home? I need my own bed.”
My father’s email feels irrelevant now. The last thing I want is to be here with someone who’s making comparisons between me and the love of Ryan’s life, knowing I’ll fall short.
I flinch when Ryan reaches for me and places his cold hand over my forehead and looks me up and down. “Are you okay? Are you getting sick?” he asks quickly.
“I’m fine,” I reassure him. I should have considered Ryan’s feelings when I invented my excuse to leave. “I’m sure it’s nothing. Maybe I’m just overtired.”
“Is everything all right?” William peers around the doorframe.
“Lily’s sick.”
My stomach clenches, and my breath stutters. If I wasn’t feeling unwell before, I am now.
His eyes widen, and he inhales sharply through his nose at his misstep. “Fuck.” He reaches for my hand and whispers, “I’m so sorry.”
Turning to his granddad, he clears his throat and says, “Beck isn’t feeling good.”
“Oh.” William looks at me with concern. “What’s wrong? Can I get you anything?”
“No, I’m fine. Really, I am,” I say in a rush. “I was asking Ryan if we could go home early. I’m sure I’ll feel better once I get a good night’s sleep in my bed.”
I watch his face fall, and my heart sinks.
I don’t want to interrupt their visit when I know it’s so important to them both.
Fuck my life. Why am I like this? I can keep it together for a few more hours.
I’m about to say so when Ryan slips his arm around me and pulls me closer, placing a kiss on the top of my head and inhaling deeply.
“Let’s go home. I can pick you up some soup at Maggie’s. That will make you feel better.”
“Can I make you some tea and toast for the road trip home? Something to help settle your stomach?” William asks.
My eyes water at his kindness. It’s not his fault I was eavesdropping. I may be overreacting, but I need to be alone in my space so I can process my feelings.
“I would appreciate that, William. Thank you.”