Chapter 8
Chapter Eight
Sunday comes way too quickly. Watching Logan getting ready to return to school is excruciating, but I’m trying to put on a brave face and support him.
He has been so wonderful to me and my mom over the past couple of weeks and I need to be strong for him now.
He needs to go back and finish off the semester. At least one of us does.
After speaking with my student advisor and explaining what was going on, we decided I should temporarily withdraw from school.
I can pause getting my degree without quitting.
Unfortunately, because I’m leaving mid-semester, I’ll have to repeat the classes I’m currently taking.
Doing them online isn’t a choice right now.
But that’s going to have to be a future Hannah problem.
Standing in my kitchen, I feel Logan come up behind me and circle his arms around my waist. I lean back against him, and he buries his nose in my neck.
He silently holds me for a moment before saying, “Riot and Carson are going to be here in a minute, then we need to get going before it gets too late.”
Riot offered to drive to the city with Logan and bring back my car and some of my things. Carson is going too, so Riot doesn’t have to drive back alone. It’s going to be a tight fit in the cab of Logan’s truck, but I’m grateful for their help. It’s one less thing for me to worry about.
“Okay. Will you call me when you get home?”
I have been anxious about him driving for the last few days. What if something happens to him too? I quickly push that morbid thought from my mind.
“Of course. I checked the weather forecast and there’s no sign of snow. The roads will be clear,” he reassures me.
Spinning in his arms I hug his waist and look up at him.
“I’m going to miss you so much.” I bite my lips as my vision blurs. I can’t cry, I can’t cry, I repeat silently in my mind. I know he needs to go.
I have very few childhood memories that don’t include Logan. We have been practically inseparable from the time we could play outside independently. This will be the longest we have spent away from each other in years.
“Hey.” He rests his palms on my cheeks and softly strokes along my jaw with his thumbs, holding me so I can’t look away.
“It’s going to be okay. I’ll be home after classes next weekend. The time will fly by.”
“I know. I’ll be okay,” I say, stepping back so I can see him better, and he places his hands on my waist.
“If you need anything this week reach out to my mom, okay?”
“She’s already doing so much. I don’t want to bug her.”
“Trust me, you are not bugging her. Remember Maggie offered to come and stay with your mom if you need a break for a couple of hours. Megan can come and hang out here with you. Riot and Carson are around if you need anything. People have offered to help. You don’t have to do it all on your own.”
“I know, I just hate asking. Everyone’s already been so nice,” I say, reaching out to spin his necklace so the clasp is at the back.
Beyond having Francis, our housekeeper, coming to the house a couple times a week the help, Dad always carried the mental and physical load of our family.
Even more so since I left for university.
It’s not like he didn’t have the money to have her come in more often or hire more help, he just wanted to be the one to take care of mom when she needed extra support.
I wish I could, but I know I can’t do it on my own; I’m grateful Francis has agreed to come more often.
“You deserve nice. Plus, people don’t offer to help if they don’t want to.”
“Okay.” I give him a weak smile.
“Promise me that you will do something just for yourself at least once a day. Have a bubble bath, draw or paint, read a book; anything to take care of just you, okay?”
“I’ll try.”
I’ve been so busy with school, I haven’t spent any time doing anything creative. Maybe that’s what I need to do to distract me from this overwhelming sadness.
“Do me a favour?” he asks, pulling me back into a hug.
“Sure. Anything.” I nod into his chest smelling deeply, committing the spicy scent of his body wash to memory.
“I want you to stay away from Jackson.” He looks down at me pointedly.
“Okay?” I narrow my eyes and scrunch my nose. “That’s not going to be a problem, but why?”
“He’s acting weirder than normal. He was a dick to me earlier in the week before the funeral, and then I heard him yelling at Mom when I was home grabbing my shit earlier.
When I walked into the room, Mom was really upset, and he stormed pass me out of the house.
I asked her about it, but she just made an excuse for him.
Again. I don’t know what’s going on with him, but you don’t need to get caught up in it. ”
“I have enough on my plate, I’m not interested in getting pulled into his circus.”
He’s always been a lot to deal with, but ever since their parents separated, it’s been worse. He has become so obnoxious, and I have no patience for it right now.
Logan gives me one last squeeze before stepping back and taking my hand in his. Slowly, he leads me towards the front door. If I could delay this goodbye forever I would.
“Should I go up and say goodbye to your mom?”
“Nah, I’ll tell her for you. She was going to try and have a nap.” Napping is about all she’s doing right now, but she doesn’t look like she’s slept a minute.
I can tell he’s having a hard time leaving as he slowly puts on his winter boots and coat. I pull the toque out of his pocket and place it on his head. He rolls his eyes.
“What? You look adorable,” I say with a grin, placing my palm on his chest.
“Sure, I do.” He shakes his head at me before pulling me back into one more hug. He places a lingering gentle kiss on my lips, and I try to savour the moment. I will not cry. It’s only a week, just one, I reassure myself.
“Okay, I got to go.” He sighs heavily, holding me a little tighter, resting his chin on the top of my head.
“I love you, Logan James. You are my favourite.”
“And I love you, Hannah Knight, forever my favourite.”
Slowly releasing him, I step away. If I don’t, I may keep him here forever.
“Go. Say hi to Riot and Carson and thank them for me.”
“I will. I’ll talk to you soon.” He leans in and gives me one last quick kiss on the lips before picking his backpack up off the floor and swinging it up on to his shoulder.
Opening the door, he steps through and calls, “I love you,” before turning and jogging down the steps and climbing into his truck.
Standing by the open door, I see Riot give me a small wave before getting in beside Carson. I watch them as they back out of the driveway and on to the snowy street.
Closing the door, I lean against it for a moment before straightening and walking towards the kitchen. I guess I’ll see what the casserole ladies have on the menu tonight.