Chapter 42
Chapter Forty-Two
True to his word, Riot took care of everything so my girls could be here with me, right down to arranging for Erin to sleep over with Ben, all while he was waiting for me on Logan’s back steps. And of course they showed up for me, no questions asked.
In between eating donuts and crying, I shared everything Logan had just told me with my best friends. As expected, they each had their own very big opinions on the subject. Beck suggested writing another list, but I declined. I was just grateful to not be left alone with my thoughts.
When I woke up this morning, my headache had eased up, and I had a little more clarity. After my friends left, I decided to take Riot’s advice and talk to my mom.
It’s not a long drive from the lake to my mom’s house in the village, but it doesn’t mean I’m rushing to get there. This conversation is long overdue and I’m trying to put into words all the things I want to say and the questions I need to ask.
Businesses are closed and the streets are quiet, on this holiday Monday. Everyone is likely recovering from eating too much turkey and restoring social batteries that have run low from spending too much time with their extended family.
Porch steps are lined with corn husks and pumpkins. I have a feeling that by the end of the day, Halloween decorations will be up. There is an unspoken contest between neighbours and displays become more elaborate every year, especially when teenagers get involved.
I have decided to avoid Logan’s street. Though I am feeling a bit better this morning, I only have the emotional bandwidth for one heavy conversation. I’ll reach out to him later.
For the second time in less than a month, I pull up to my mom’s house and find Mason’s truck in my mother’s driveway. My heart stutters for a moment, immediately thrown back to the day my dad died, but I recover quickly.
I knock a couple times to announce my entrance. The last thing I want is to catch him in his boxers or something else this early in the morning. My body gives an involuntary shiver at the thought. He’s a good-looking man but just no.
I find him fully dressed in the kitchen making coffee – again. The rich aroma of fresh ground beans waft through the warm kitchen.
“Good morning,” I mumble, walking in and sitting down at the island. Leaning my elbows on the surface, I rest my chin in my hands. “How’s your jaw?” I ask before covering my mouth to suppress a yawn. It doesn’t look terrible, but it’s still red and slightly swollen.
“It’s fine, a long way from my heart.” He snorts, rubbing his hand along the side of his face. “How about Logan? His knuckles were split up pretty good.”
“Umm good, I guess, I didn’t stay very late.” I have so many questions, but I have no idea what he does and doesn’t know. “So, what will happen to Jackson now? Can I ask that?”
Leaning back against the counter he crosses his arms. “That will be up to the judge.”
Sitting up straight, my brows furrow. “I don’t understand, why does he need to go before a judge, I thought he just needed to see his probation officer and check in?”
Pouring the hot coffee into my mug, he slides it along the counter to me; I smile my thanks before going to the fridge and grabbing the hazelnut creamer. He waits until I am finished before he answers my question.
“Unfortunately, it’s not quite that simple,” he says, walking towards the kitchen table and sitting down with his own coffee.
Taking a sip, he continues, “Yes, Jackson skipped a regular check in, but he also never told his PO where he was for a few weeks. He’s missed mandatory therapy appointments and there is a high probability of alcohol and drug use.
Needless to say, punching a police officer in the face didn’t help his situation.
” Holding his hand in the air so I don’t interrupt, he continues, “Before you say anything, no, I can’t swipe it under the rug and pretend it didn’t happen.
That won’t help him anyway, he needs to be held accountable for his actions.
But if either Jackson or Logan decide to press charges against one another that’s an entirely different issue with bigger consequences. ”
Joining him at the table, I sink into the chair across from him. Pinching the bridge of my nose, I close my eyes briefly before looking at Mason. “Fuck.”
“Exactly. Because it’s a holiday today he won’t go to court until tomorrow at the earliest. All the appropriate people were notified last night.
He got his nose reset at the hospital. Ryan advocated for him and made sure he was fed, and all his immediate needs would be met.
He even called Beth to let her know what was going on.
I don’t think he left until after midnight. ”
“I don’t understand, why Ryan would involve himself like that.” Furrowing my brows and shaking my head with confusion.
“Because he is a good man – one of the best I know. He saw a vulnerable person in need and stepped in because he knew they needed support.”
Turning, I see my mom entering the room dressed casually in jeans and a long rust coloured sweater.
Her hair is pulled back into a claw clip, making her look years younger.
Then there’s me wearing the same sweats I slept in last night, my hair up haphazardly in a messy bun to keep it out of my face.
I barely remembered to brush my teeth or put on deodorant before walking out the door.
“Good morning, sweetie. You’re out and about early again this morning. Are you okay? It sounds like you had quite the night.” Reaching across the table, she covers my hand with her own.
“It wasn’t great, but I’m okay.” Sighing, I give her a half smile.
Mason pushes his chair back and stands from the table gesturing to Mom to take his seat. After placing his cup in the dishwasher, he makes Mom her coffee and brings it to the table. Bending down he kisses her on the top of her head; she closes her eyes and smiles. I love this for her.
“I’m going to head into the station to check in and give you both a chance to talk. I’ll call you later.”
“Okay, be careful. Try not to get punched in the face again today.” She shakes her head and rolls her eyes.
“I’ll do my best.” He winks at her then gives me a quick wave before leaving the room.
“How about we put on our shoes and go for a walk through the garden. We can walk and talk. Sound good?” I appreciate the suggestion, she knows I do better processing my feelings if I’m moving.
Grabbing my shoes from the front entrance, I find my mom already waiting for me at the back door that leads to her patio and gardens beyond.
She holds up a woven basket in her hand and says, “We may as well pick some apples while we are out. You will have to tell Claire to bring Ben over to get some pumpkins to carve.”
“I’ll tell her, Ben would love that.”
Stepping outside onto the patio, I immediately notice a stone fire pit. “Oh, this is new. I love it.”
“Thank you, I designed it, and Mason built it last weekend,” she says with a smile as she steps onto the path that leads into the garden.
Wow. Mason just built it all willy nilly, no big deal. It’s going to take me more than a minute to get used to this. Has she been name dropping all along and I just never noticed before?
As we walk, I admire the beauty of the gardens as she points out the changes. Over the summer, she has planted a couple more fruit trees and expanded her vegetable garden. I suppose Mason helped with that too.
The maple trees have changed from green to fiery reds and brilliant gold over the past few weeks.
Tall ornamental grass sways in the early morning breeze.
Annuals have been cut back to make room for late blooming chrysanthemums, echinacea, and yarrow.
It’s gorgeous out here. She has done an amazing job.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I begin the conversation I have been avoiding for years.
“I want to talk to you about Dad.” Pausing to take a large breath, I sneak a look at her before continuing.
“About everything that happened around the time he died. I have some questions, if that’s okay?
If it’s too much just let me know and we can stop. ”
“Absolutely, what would you like to know?” We stop at a mature dwarf apple tree, and she hands me the basket to hold as she chooses a medium sized red apple.
“Mom, did you know Dad was having an affair before the photos were posted online?”
Silence hangs in the air as she picks a few more and places them in the basket. It seems like forever, but it’s only a moment as she collects her thoughts.
“Come, let’s sit for a moment.” She leads me to a nearby wooden bench, and we sit down, side by side.
Placing the basket on the ground, I angle my body to look at her.
Her face stays relaxed, but she has begun to fiddle with the cuff of her sweater.
“This is going to be difficult for you to hear, but I want you to listen without judgement and try to understand.” She looks me in the eyes, waiting for me to agree.
When I nod my head, she continues. “Your dad was my best friend, Hannah. He supported me through so much. More than you even know. We loved each other very much.”
“I know, Mom. You seemed incredibly happy together. That’s why I don’t understand how he could do this to you.” My eyes instantly well up with tears and my nose stings with emotion.
Mom reaches into her pocket and hands me a fresh tissue before saying, “It’s a habit, I still carry them around.
” Sighing she continues, “We loved each other very much but we were no longer in love. Does that make sense? We hadn’t been in a long time.
He was my best friend, he took care of me, and I wanted him to be happy.
I encouraged him to start seeing Beth romantically. ”
“Pardon?” Gasping, my body freezes. “Do you mind repeating that? I think I heard you say that you encouraged him to screw around!”