Chapter 43 #2
“I told you he might show up here,” she murmurs, twisting her wedding band. In the back of my mind, I can hear Hannah’s voice reminding me that I should try to mend my relationship with my mother.
“I know, and I should have taken that warning seriously.” I nod, taking a drink of my hot coffee.
“He looks terrible, Logan. His face is black and blue. Why did you have to get into a fight with him?” She purses her lips and shakes her head scolding me like I’m a ten-year-old beating up my baby brother.
“Oh, I know he does,” I roll my eyes, holding up my bandaged hand, “but don’t worry, he got some good shots in himself. And as a matter of fact, I didn’t start anything.”
“Why couldn’t you just listen to him and help him out? You had to fight with him.” Is she for real right now?
“I didn’t start the fight, Mom. In fact, I asked him what he wanted, and he purposely provoked me.”
Just remembering how disrespectful he was to Hannah makes my blood pressure rise.
“He needs a place to stay. You have this big house, you could have offered to put him up until he gets back on his feet. Now he’s in trouble again,” she complains with tears in her eyes.
“I don’t owe him anything including a place to stay. He’s not in trouble because of me, he fucked up before he even arrived in Emerley. He’s the one who punched Mason in the face. You can’t put any of this on me.”
“But if you just...” she pleads with a quivering chin.
I interrupt her before she can continue. “Just what, Mom? What more do you want from me? I gave up everything important to me so you could get him help when he was a teenager. How did that go for him? You made excuses and covered up for him instead of getting him any real help.”
“He was just so angry. He acted out because he was angry at me. If only I had done more.”
“Done more what? Given him more discipline, paid more attention, got him more help – yes, you should have done more.”
“You know he’s going to have to go back to prison now?” she says softly, tears welling up in her eyes.
“Yes, Mom. He fucked around and now he’s going to find out.”
“You don’t even care?” she accuses me with disbelief in her voice.
“Right now? No. I’m sorry if that’s not what you want to hear, but no.”
“I loved him,” she says, her shoulders rounding in on herself. She looks to her hands briefly before meeting my eyes again.
“Him who? Jackson?”
“Obviously, Jackson. I mean Richard.” She sighs out a long breath.
“I don’t want to talk about that,” I say firmly, pushing my chair back across the hardwood floor to stand and walk to the island.
Placing both palms on the counter, I lower my head trying to regulate my breathing.
Why does she not understand that her deceit and selfishness started all this bullshit.
If she hadn’t been having an affair with Richard, everything would have been different.
“I just want you to understand,” she begs, rising to come and stand beside me.
Turning my head to look down at her, I ask, “What do you need me to understand?”
“We loved each other very much, Logan,” she says softly with a sad smile.
“That doesn’t change the fact that he was a married man.” I point out the obvious, fighting to keep my voice even and calm.
“Yes, he was, but we had an agreement. We planned to keep our relationship a secret just until Jackson was out of high school.”
“Oh, good, your plan included Jackson.” I throw my hands in the air. Unbelievable, she is fucking unbelievable. Fuck the rest of us, we never entered her plan at all.
“This is hard, but please let me explain,” she pleads, touching my arm.
“By all means please continue,” I say, narrowing my eyes, my voice dripping with venom.
“Jackson wasn’t coping well with your father and I divorcing. He had delusions that we would get back together and that was never going to happen. When Richard and I became a couple...”
“No, Mom, don’t make it pretty – you had an affair,” I state, stepping away from her reach.
“Stop interrupting and let me finish,” she demands.
When I nod, she continues, “When we became a couple, we decided we wouldn’t broadcast our relationship until Jackson was a little older.
You were already away at university so any potential chatter in the community wouldn’t affect you.
I wanted to show him the same courtesy.”
I can’t believe she is trying to justify this after all these years. Fucking wild.
“I’m so glad you took Jackson’s fragile feelings into consideration. Did either you or Richard consider Grace and Hannah?”
“Of course we did.” She looks offended that I could ask such a thing. “Since Grace already knew and was happy for us, we agreed that Hannah would find out the same time you did. We were being very discrete.”
My mouth hangs open in stunned silence. “Come again? Grace knew?”
She furrows her eyebrows and scrunches her nose. “Of course she did, I thought you knew that.”
“No, how about you tell me,” I mumble in confusion, spinning the bracelet on my wrist.
“Grace knew and approved from the start. When Richard died, we grieved together. Grace was in such a fragile state, I knew Richard would have wanted me to help as much as possible and I really tried to.”
“You have got to be kidding me.” Leaning my elbows on the counter, I cup my mouth and huff out a breath. I can’t believe this. I have had years to ruminate about our parents’ deception and everything that followed, but this is a shock.
Fuck, I wonder if this is why Hannah needed more time to think. She said she talked to her mom this morning, maybe she found out what I just did. She must be feeling so betrayed right now.
Forget waiting, I need to go see her. She doesn’t need to deal with this alone ever again. Quickly, I stand to my full height and start to walk out of the room, abandoning my untouched coffee.
Calling over my shoulder, I say, “Mom, I need you to leave. I’m going to Hannah’s.”
“Now? What about your brother?” she presses, chasing after me.
Coming to a halt, I turn to look at her. “What about him?”
“I just thought you could come down to the station and talk to Mason. Maybe see if there is anything you could do to help him,” she asks earnestly as she twists her hands in front of herself.
“What? No.” I shake my head. “Jackson needs to fix his shit, and you need to let him.” Taking the stairs two at a time, I holler back, “Shut the door behind you on the way out.”