Chapter 18
EIGHTEEN
OLIVIA
“Do you ever regret it?”
With my body settled in his lap, his legs stretched out on the lounger, Taj’s arms hugged me a little tighter.
We were sitting out on the balcony beside the firepit at the rental house in Colorado.
We’d arrived yesterday for the snowboarding contest at Copper Mountain, and Taj brought us to the house he’d rented for the team.
After spending the day out in the cold today, watching my first snowboarding competition, we came back, had dinner, and warmed up in the shower.
I wasn’t quite ready for bed, but I also wasn’t interested in being around a crowd of people.
So, I encouraged Taj to join me on the balcony and start the fire.
But since we’d been sitting here—and I’d been replaying the day in my head—I couldn’t stop thinking about the conversation I’d had with the girls last weekend.
Taj was just as good as Archer and Kingston and all the others on the team. He could’ve been competing, too. If what his closest friends had done today was something he could do, I wondered how it made him feel to watch them instead of being there doing it beside them.
“Do I ever regret what?”
“Your decision to run Blackman Boards instead of being a professional rider for the company.”
Even as his brows knit together, he smiled. “What would make you ask me that?”
Cuddled in his lap beneath the blanket, with the fire crackling beside us, I lifted my hand to his cheek and stroked my thumb along his skin.
“Since the day you taught me to snowboard, I knew you could do it. But with me learning to ride, you never had the opportunity to show me what you could really do. It wasn’t until I was out with the girls last weekend that I learned you’re just as good as Archer and Kingston. ”
“Well, they probably have a slight edge over me now, considering they’re always training. But if I put in the time, I could be right there with them.”
I dragged my thumb along his bottom lip, my eyes watching its movement. When I made it from one side to the other, I lifted my gaze to meet his. “And you don’t want that?”
He inhaled deeply and sighed. “A long time ago, I thought that’s what I wanted.
As a kid, I trained at every opportunity I had to be the best. And I’m glad for the skills and ability I gained from that training, but as I got older, things changed for me.
I looked at my dad and his friends, and I saw what he built.
I wanted the same thing. So, I decided that the act of snowboarding would be about the fun of it for me while I’d pour most of my focus into expanding the brand my dad built. ”
“So, no regrets, then?”
Taj shook his head. “No. Well, technically, I guess it’s that for so long I became entirely too focused on the work that I allowed the fun to stop. I’ve been trying to rectify that lately.”
“I heard.”
His brows shot up as he poked me playfully in the side. “Oh yeah? Did you get all this information during girls’ night?”
I shrugged, feigning innocence. “Maybe.”
Taj slipped his fingers beneath both my sweatshirt and t-shirt to run his fingers along the skin just above the waistband of my pants. “Mmm. Keep the secrets all you want, baby. Don’t forget I have the proof of the best part of that night.”
“Don’t remind me.”
He chuckled. “It’s my favorite thing. I watch those videos of you singing karaoke every night that you aren’t falling asleep in my arms.”
“So, what you’re saying is that if I ever spent every single night with you, the videos could be deleted?”
“Not a chance.”
“Why not?”
His eyes roamed over every inch of my face. “Because I love seeing you so happy and carefree. The way you lit up the stage that night, even through the phone, was magical. It’d be criminal to delete something so precious.”
I smiled, warmth spreading through my body. How this man hadn’t already been snatched up by someone before I’d arrived in town was a mystery.
“Knock, knock?”
His lips twitched. “Who’s there?”
“When where?”
“When where who?”
My lips parted, and I sent him the most seductive look I could muster up. “Right now, by this fire, you and me.”
Taj blinked, realization dawning after a few beats. “Okay, I liked that one.”
I bit my lip. “It’s hot out here, don’t you think? Are you hot?”
He laughed again. “Baby, these are freezing temps out here.”
I squirmed in his lap and leaned in close, my lips barely brushing his. “I think it’s hot. Maybe it’s the fire and the blanket and all the clothes.”
Taj’s hand slid up my side. “You do have some layers on.” His lips kissed mine, drifted to my jaw, and ultimately moved to my neck. “And your skin is certainly warm.”
“Mmm,” I hummed as I shifted and repositioned myself, so I was straddling his hips.
Facing him, my chest was level with his face, and Taj didn’t waste the opportunity.
His hands slipped beneath the hem of my sweatshirt and journeyed up my sides, over my ribs, until they traveled forward to cup my breasts.
Since I wasn’t wearing a bra, he had unhindered access, and Taj squeezed the rounded flesh before swiping his thumbs over my nipples.
I moaned in response and rolled my hips over his hard length.
He groaned. “Olivia.”
His voice.
It still baffled me how I could make him sound like that.
But I guess when I considered what he did to me, how needy I became around him, it made sense.
Taj rarely had to coax me with physical touches or teasing.
It was all the things he’d say or do to prove to me over and over just how much my happiness was a priority to him.
“Taj, please,” I begged, dragging my fingers through his hair. “I need more.”
He squeezed my breasts once more before lifting my shirt high enough to expose them to him. Then, his face was buried against my chest.
Kissing.
Licking.
Nibbling.
I dropped my hands down between our bodies and curled my fingers around the waistband of his sweats. Reaching inside, I grabbed hold of him and stroked. He groaned as he sucked my nipple.
The sound sent another shot of desire between my legs, and my hips moved of their own volition, seeking that friction.
“Taj,” I pleaded.
“You want me, baby?”
I gripped him tighter and moaned. “I can’t wait.”
Taj brought his hands to my hips and tugged on my sweats. He pushed them and my underwear down my legs, and I lifted slightly to shimmy them off. Once they were gone, I tugged at his pants. I got them and his underwear down to his knees and settled myself over him again.
“I’m covered with pregnancy,” I panted. “And I’ve always been safe. Do we need a condom?”
His fingertips gripped my hips harder, his eyes darkening. “No. Put me inside and take what you need. Let me feel you.”
I didn’t hesitate. I positioned us and sank down over him. My head dropped back on a moan, and Taj groaned again. “You feel so good, Taj.”
“You feel incredible, too. Can you move, Olivia? I need you to move.”
Taj sounded like he had an invisible thread that was keeping him barely tethered. Like just being inside me was unraveling him. And as powerful as it made me feel, I needed to move as much as he wanted it.
So, that’s what I did.
I rode him—slow at first—and developed a rhythm to build us both up. But there was something else happening beyond just the physical pleasure I was seeking to give the both of us.
It was like something else had taken over for me.
My body moved as it needed to, but I didn’t need to concentrate to find that release.
My mind and heart were lost in Taj. In the sounds he made.
In the way he had me filled so full of him.
In his possessive grip that often gave way to tender caresses.
Despite the frigid mountain air, I wasn’t cold. Between the fire, the blanket, and the heat building between us, Taj had me burning up inside.
Feeling him so deep inside, with nothing separating us, and having his mouth on my breasts, I accelerated to the point of no return much faster than I wanted to.
And when that craving and desperate need took hold, I was powerless to stop what happened next. My hips moved faster as my breathing became ragged.
“Oh, God. Taj,” I called out my warning.
“That’s it, baby. Take what you need, and come apart with me.”
I didn’t need the orders because I was already there, but Taj’s encouragement, when his voice sounded like it did, certainly didn’t hurt things.
With one hand curled around the back of his neck and the other resting on his shoulder, my eyes locked on Taj.
Neither of us looked away as it hit, our orgasms sending sparks of pleasure through us.
I just barely worked us both through to the end before collapsing on top of Taj. His arms wrapped around me after he tugged the blanket higher over my back and shoulders.
For a long time, we stayed like that, cuddling as we worked to regain control of our breathing. But after a while I called, “Taj?”
“Yeah?”
“I don’t have any regrets, either.”
“Pardon?”
Lifting my cheek from his chest, I looked at him and explained, “When I arrived in Rising Sun a couple of months ago, I wondered if I’d made a mistake and would live to regret it.
I’m so relieved to admit that it was the best choice I ever made.
I asked you to give me a reason to stay, and you did. I don’t regret a thing.”
A proud smile spread across his face. “I’m going to give you more of them. You’re going to have so many reasons to stay, you’ll wish you would’ve arrived sooner.”
I didn’t need any more reasons to know that was the case, but I wasn’t going to stop Taj from giving them to me. So, I simply smiled back and lowered my cheek to his chest again.
We stayed like that a long time before Taj, without a word, lifted me in his arms, carried me back inside, and cleaned me up before giving me more reasons to be glad I found him.
I was a fool.
Life had taught me enough lessons that I shouldn’t have been so stupid to believe that the transition to this new life would be as easy as it had been for nearly two months.
Sure, I was still job hunting, wasn’t on good terms with anyone from my former life, and avoided dealing with the hassle of what to do about all my things in New York. But aside from that, everything else had been mostly pleasant. Wonderful, in fact.
Until now.
Until today.
We’d gotten back from Colorado three days ago, and I was settling back into this new life.
It’d been so nice to have a break from everything and enjoy an actual trip somewhere where I wasn’t expected to work.
When we returned, I finally decided to get myself a car.
I’d put it off long enough, and with no plans to ever leave, I figured it was time.
Perhaps I should’ve waited a little longer.
Because if what just happened was any indication of what was ahead, I might’ve needed to skip town altogether.
Somehow, despite my initial relief that nobody had learned the truth of what I’d done months ago, the news had been leaked. And now, I was scrolling through one sleazy article after another.
My stomach was roiling. I had a lump in my throat.
I stopped on an article and read the headline—Supermodel Olivia Thomas leaves devastated groom at the altar.
No.
No. No. No.
How did this happen? Who would’ve shared this information?
My mind immediately drifted to Conrad, but I didn’t think it was him. It would be too much of a blow to his ego for something like this to be published.
Maybe someone at the venue leaked it to the press.
Tears filled my eyes and spilled down my cheeks. I had to tell Taj. I had to tell him what was going on and hope he’d stick by my side. I didn’t want to leave town, but if he wanted no part of this, I didn’t think I could stay.
If there was one silver lining to be found, it was the purchase of my car. Because this wasn’t the kind of thing that I thought I should tell him over the phone. And I was too upset to wait hours until he finished at work.
So, I grabbed a jacket, my purse, and my keys, and I was out the door in a flash. When I pulled up outside Blackman Boards, I second-guessed myself.
Was I honestly going to do this?
Was I really going to bother Taj while he was at work just because some people wrote horrible articles about me?
If the news in the articles wasn’t enough to push him away, the fact I’d decided to freak out and show up here might do it.
No.
No, this was Taj.
He’d want to know. And if anyone could understand being in the spotlight and feeling the pressure to be perfect, it was him. He’d know what to do.
I sucked in a deep breath. Then I swiped at the tears that hadn’t stopped falling, got out of my car, and made my way to the front door.
I walked in and met a woman at the front reception area. “Hi. How can I help you today?”
“I’m sorry. I was hoping I could speak to Taj.”
“Taj? And you are?”
“Olivia.”
The woman’s eyes rounded. “Oh, you’re his girlfriend.”
I nodded. “Yes. Yes, that’s me.”
She beamed at me. “He’s going to be so excited that you stopped in to surprise him.
Gosh, I remember when his mom started working here with his dad.
And now, her son is the big man in charge.
If that doesn’t make me feel old…” She trailed off and turned her body slightly to the side to point behind her.
“You can walk back to that set of elevators behind the desks there. Take that upstairs, and when you get there, just walk to the end of the hall, turn right, and his office is the first on the left.”
“Thank you so much….”
“Flo.”
Despite the awful churning in my belly, I forced a smile on my face. “Thank you, Flo.”
“You’re welcome. And whatever’s eating you, I hope that man can get you sorted.”
Surprise washed over me. “Wh… What?”
Flo waved her hand dismissively. “I know what’s staring me in the face. I won’t pry for details when we don’t know each other. But I’ll tell you the same thing I told his mom. If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here.”
I licked my lips and gave her a nod of appreciation. Then, I walked past her toward the elevators.
Following the directions Flo had given me, I rode the elevator to the second floor, got off, and strode down the hall. Then I turned the corner, saw the open door, and tapped lightly on it.
The second Taj looked up from his desk and saw me there, I burst into tears.