Chapter 20
TWENTY
HAWK
In all the fantasizing I’d done ever since I met Chloe, I hadn’t considered this.
Sure, I realized last night that she’d be spending the night with me, and I felt beyond fortunate for that to be my reality. I couldn’t have hoped for anything more than being able to wake up with her in my arms.
I didn’t imagine there was anything better.
I was wrong. And it was Chloe who proved it to me.
Because there was at least one thing better than waking with her in my arms. It was waking with her mouth wrapped around my cock.
For a moment, I considered if this was real. I didn’t question Chloe being here. There was no doubt I’d fallen asleep with my body wrapped around the back of hers. But perhaps I was dreaming now.
It seemed impossible that I could get this lucky. That I’d wake up not of my own volition, but because I felt her soft, delicate hands roaming over my body as her tongue and lips licked, teased, and sucked me.
Blinking my eyes open, I looked down my body and confirmed it wasn’t a dream. That gorgeous woman had decided to rouse me this morning in the most unbelievable way. More and more, I was learning just how lucky I was to have her.
Chloe had been focused on what she was doing, but when her eyes flicked up and saw me staring at her, she released me from her mouth, smiled, and said, “Good morning, baby.”
Fuck me.
Fuck me!
That gorgeous smile and sweet voice first thing in the morning.
How was I supposed to act like this was normal? That I deserved this? Deserved her?
“Sweetness,” I said softly, reaching down to cover her hand with mine.
Still smiling, she bit her lip and arched a brow. “I hope you don’t mind, but I thought this might be a fun surprise to wake up to.”
“You are extraordinary, and I’m unsure what I did to deserve you.”
Chloe let out a soft laugh and returned to what she’d been doing. My head dropped back on a groan.
At the very least, I was no longer concerned about my ability to perform satisfactorily.
Having gone twelve years without any physical intimacy, I didn’t anticipate last night going as well as it had the first time.
But I had Chloe, and she stepped up in a big way to ease my fears.
And between that first round and the two additional ones following, I’d worked up a bit of stamina.
Now, I could enjoy this. I could savor the feel of her warm, wet mouth on me. I could relish the sounds of her moans as she did something to bring me pleasure.
Chloe was phenomenal with her mouth. Licking, sucking, teasing. She took it slow for a while before shifting to a quicker pace, and I loved it all.
When I felt myself getting closer and closer to that point of no return, I tapped her hand. “Chloe?”
After releasing me, she answered breathlessly. “Yeah?”
Damn, she was beautiful.
“I’m really close, so if you don’t want me to come in your mouth, you should stop.”
Determination washed over her. Without saying a word, she gave me a response when she parted her gorgeous lips and took me back into her mouth.
And before I knew it, I was fighting the urge to thrust my hips up as my orgasm tore through me, Chloe sucking harder and harder as I came.
If she’d stopped earlier when I’d warned her that I was close, I’d have flipped her to her back, spread her legs, and buried my face between them.
But now…
“You destroyed me, sweetness.”
Seemingly proud of herself, she sat up on her shins and asked, “Was it good?”
“Amazing. Now, get your ass up here and sit on my face.”
Chloe didn’t waste any time. She crawled up, swung a leg over, and sat on my face. Then I found something else I enjoyed as much as being woken up with her mouth around me.
Of course, I already knew what she tasted like. Getting my mouth on her pussy last night for the first time, I was in heaven. I didn’t care if I got dirty looks and sneers from everyone else for the rest of my life so long as I could always have a taste of her.
“Hawk,” she whimpered. “Baby.”
The woman had just drained me dry, but listening to her like this had my dick stirring to life again.
I worked her between her legs with my mouth—licking, tasting, devouring—as my hands roamed over her body from her ass to her hips, over her abdomen, and up to her breasts. Skin so soft, curves so beautiful. She was everything I could’ve ever wanted.
Before too long, Chloe’s breathing changed. It grew shallow as her hips began to move against me, her hand driving into my hair. “Hawk,” she called out in warning.
I groaned at the sound, ready to flip her onto her back so I could drive my hips into her. But I delayed. I held back. Because I wanted to taste every last drop of her pleasure first.
It was on that thought that it happened.
Chloe came apart over me, and I took everything she had to give.
Only after she’d made it to the other side, her body sated and limp above me, did I get up, taking her with me, and put her back on the bed. I reached for a condom, and as I rolled it on, I said, “On your belly, Chloe.”
She rolled over.
I positioned myself behind her, Chloe tilting her ass just high enough to give me access, and I slid inside that tight heat.
With one palm resting beside her body, I shoved my other hand between the mattress and her. Then it dipped between her legs, found her clit, and circled as I slowly thrust into her from behind.
And since this morning had started off lazy, I decided to keep that going. The payoff was tremendous.
I moved with such a languid pace, my strokes purposeful, and listened for every sharp intake of her breath. Over and over, I thrust inside her, but I never went faster.
As my fingers continued to play between her legs, Chloe’s breathing had turned to whimpers of warning.
Lowering my torso to her back, I whispered, “Every sound out of you makes my blood rush, makes my heart thunder.”
Chloe responded with a breathy moan. “Hawk.”
I smiled against her cheek, thrust inside powerfully, and relished the sounds that followed as she found her pleasure. Lifting slightly, I watched her gorgeous face, those beautifully parted lips, as it moved through her.
Only after she’d made it to the other side did I finally find my own release and shift all my weight into my forearms. I stayed like that, the soft curve of her ass pressed against my groin, peppering kisses along her bare shoulders for a while.
“Now, I need to feed you.”
After getting ourselves cleaned up, we made our way to the kitchen for breakfast. And as I walked around the space, gathering up the things I’d need to cook for us, I realized just how much I liked it. How great it felt.
This could be my life. Waking up in the morning, having some fun in bed, and following it up with breakfast together.
Gone would be the days of going through the motions just to get to the next one. I’d no longer feel like I was just doing what had to be done to go from one day to the next.
It felt like hope.
Promise.
Unless, of course, Chloe decided she didn’t want the same thing.
No.
No, I couldn’t stand here, cracking eggs into a bowl, and think about that. I didn’t want to consider the possibility of not having her in my life.
Not now.
In an effort to distract myself from such foolish and depressing thoughts, I finished cracking the last egg, reached out for Chloe, and slipped my fingers into her hair to tug her toward me. She came and wrapped her arms around my waist while my mouth captured hers.
This was much better. This was what I’d fight to hold on to, day in and day out, from this point forward.
“Scrambled eggs okay with you?” I asked.
She tightened her arms around me. “Scrambled eggs are perfect.”
“Breakfast potatoes?”
Grinning, she said, “It’s like you know the way to a girl’s heart.”
I arched a brow. “Not just any girl.”
Chloe’s weight melted into me, and she pressed her cheek against my chest. I dropped my hand from her hair to her waist and kept her tucked tight to my side as I made breakfast for us.
There wasn’t a lot of talking. Just comfortable silence filled with lingering holds, soft kisses, warm looks, and tender touches.
That continued through breakfast, too. I didn’t mind. I liked knowing the two of us could be content just to be with one another, enjoying the quiet presence without needing every moment to be filled with words.
After all that, it was no surprise that once we finished eating, Chloe felt compelled to speak. “I don’t want to scare you, baby, but I think I should warn you.”
Her tone was light and playful, despite her words indicating that there was something bad on the horizon. “Warn me?”
“If you keep making me meals with my favorite food, I may never want to leave.”
So, she was meaning to be funny and playful. The problem was that it took me right back to the worry I’d been feeling the moment we wound up in the kitchen. And for that reason, I said something foolish. “Well, that’s good to know. I guess I was right, then.”
Chloe’s brows knit together. “Right about what?”
There was no way I could back out of it now. I’d already put it out there. “I was just going to ask if I could assume based on this morning’s wake-up call that you don’t have any regrets.”
Taken aback, she appeared to be no less confused. If anything, I could’ve sworn I saw the hurt flicker in her gaze. “What on earth would I have regrets about?”
Part of me wanted to backtrack, pretend it was nothing.
But there was the other part of me that understood I said what I did for a reason.
Not wanting it to appear to be as big of a deal as it felt on the inside to me, I shrugged.
“I’m just saying that I’d understand if you had second thoughts, you know? ”
“No, Hawk, I don’t. Please, fill me in.”
Shit.
This was a bad idea. I should’ve continued to bask in the happiness I felt. Why did I think it was wise to say a word about this to her?
I knew why.
Because I’d always wonder. I’d always have the thoughts lingering in the back of my mind. And I figured it was better to put it out there. To be sure.
“I don’t want you to think that I’m not happy, because I am.
I’m happier than I’ve ever been. But I want you to understand that I don’t have any expectations of you.
” Her expression grew concerned. “I know who I am, Chloe. I know what I am. And if you had any regrets about what we did, I can’t say that I wouldn’t understand. ”
Tears filled her eyes as she swallowed roughly. “Do you regret what we did?”
“Absolutely not. It was… You were everything.”
“So, it was that for you, but you don’t think it should be the same for me?”
Shaking my head, I insisted, “It’s not that. I just… We’re so very different. There’s a part of my life that’s not good, and I can’t ever change it. I know who I am.”
“Really, Hawk?” she fired back, anger in her tone. “I know exactly who you are, too.”
“Chloe, I—”
“No! No, I’m not going to allow you to do this. I’m not going to sit here and allow you to act like I didn’t know what I was doing last night or all these weeks I’ve been trying to get to know you.”
“I’m not saying you didn’t know what you were doing, or that you did anything wrong—”
“Good,” she shouted as she shot out of her chair. “Because I knew exactly who I was spreading my legs for last night, Hawk. All I wish is that you could see it. That you could see yourself the way that I do. Don’t you get it? Don’t you see?”
My chest tightened at the emotion I saw on her face and heard in her voice. “See what, sweetness?”
“Who you are. Because I see a man who remembered every detail about me, from our very first encounter. I see a man who got wet in the rain, so I wouldn’t have to.
I see a man who stepped up to stop a man who was harassing and threatening me.
I see a man who owns his mistakes, apologizes, and makes the effort to prepare my favorite food as a show of that remorse. ”
My throat had closed, a boulder lodged in it, as my stomach twisted. All she saw was the good in me.
Chloe stepped close to me, lifted her hand to my cheek, and stroked her thumb along it. “I see a man who loves so hard, he’s willing to sacrifice himself to protect others.”
I swallowed roughly, my eyes locked on hers.
“I don’t care what you say, Hawk. I’m not going anywhere. In fact, I’m furious with you right now.”
“I’m sorry, Chloe. I didn’t intend—”
“You did this,” she declared, cutting me off.
“This monster you’re seeing right now, you created it.
Because you showed me everything good and wonderful and special about you.
There isn’t anything I don’t like. And if I didn’t make myself clear when we went to Yellowstone, let me make myself clear now. ”
I braced myself, knowing that whatever she was going to say was going to rock me.
“I’m going to go to bat for you, baby. I don’t care who it is, I’m not going to tolerate anyone looking at you like you aren’t worth it.
That you should be feared or are somehow beneath them.
I’m not going to sit around and listen while anyone says a single negative word about you when they haven’t taken the time to get to know you.
I refuse to stay quiet any longer, Hawk.
You gave me all of you last night, and you’re mine now.
So, you’re just going to have to deal with the fact that you invited me into your life, and this is what you get.
There’s one way that you and I are alike.
Because, like you, I’ll fight tooth and nail to protect what’s mine. ”
Right then, I fell in love. Deep, all-consuming love.
I’d already felt something strong for Chloe, but that was the moment I knew. She was the woman of my dreams, the one my life had been leading me to all this time.
I loved her.
There were no words to say that would ever communicate what she meant to me.
So, I reached out, tugged Chloe into my lap, and at the same time I drove my hand into her hair, my mouth captured hers in a bruising and possessive kiss.
I was hers.
She wanted me.
And she was prepared to go to bat for me.
When I pulled back, I stared into her beautiful eyes and said, “You’re mine now, too.”
Her lips curved into a smile. “And I’m right where I want to be. Whatever demons you’ve got inside, Hawk, I’m going to fight them every step of the way, so that I can stay right where I am.”
I wrapped my arms around her and squeezed as I buried my face in her neck.
And as I inhaled the scent of her, a sense of peace I hadn’t felt in years washed over me.
Maybe it was time I woke up and realized that I was finally, finally right where I was always meant to be.