Chapter 22
TWENTY-TWO
HAWK
I liked to think I was a patient man.
Having been through what I had in my life, it would’ve been impossible not to have an understanding of precisely how time worked.
But this was proving to be more difficult than I’d anticipated. Perhaps that’s what happened when the one thing that mattered the most to me was at stake.
Chloe.
My Chloe.
I wondered if I’d still be able to call her that.
She had six opinions to contend with, and they weren’t just random strangers. This was her family, her closest friends. What if they believed Chloe had been a fool to get involved with me and convinced her to rethink her decision to be with me?
Ever since I’d gotten home from work, I’d been on edge. Hell, I’d been that way since I walked out of her cake shop this afternoon. And all I could think now was that the worst was going to come to fruition.
Damn it.
Why hadn’t I taken the time to savor that last kiss? What if I never got to kiss her again?
I guess I should’ve expected this, though. It had been easy living in a bubble with her. Sure, I’d worried about outsiders in the beginning. But I’d been thinking about the wrong ones all along.
A woman like Chloe wouldn’t be bothered by negativity from people who didn’t matter. But her family? Her friends? What were the chances she’d write off their opinions as easily as she did others?
I’d been attempting to keep myself distracted with menial tasks since I’d gotten home—taking a shower, cleaning up the kitchen—but for the last hour or so, I hadn’t been able to do much beyond pace.
There was a voice inside my head, screaming at me to go and find her. Even just to pick up the phone and call her. Something stopped me from doing it. Fear, perhaps? The very real possibility that she might say the words that would actually devastate me?
Frustration washed over me, and I raked my hand through my hair as I took what had to be the hundredth lap in the middle of my living room.
That’s when it happened.
My phone vibrated against the coffee table with a call. I snatched it up, saw Chloe’s name on the display, and tried to compose myself. I didn’t think I’d accomplished that feat by the time I answered her call.
“Chloe,” I greeted her, the single word revealing my panic.
“I’m outside your place. Can you let me in?”
Here.
She was here.
That had to be a good sign, didn’t it? Of course, it was a good sign. This was Chloe. She was a good woman.
So good that she likely wouldn’t be the kind of woman who’d break things off over the phone. She’d come over to do it in person.
Oh, God. I was going to be sick.
“Yeah. Yeah, I’ll be right there.”
Seconds later, I came face-to-face with her, and as much relief as I felt seeing her there in front of me, I couldn’t read anything in her expression.
Right.
Perhaps she didn’t want to do this where anyone could see. I took her by the hand and led her inside. Once we were in the living room, she asked, “Aren’t you going to sit?”
I shook my head, gaze pointed at the ground, my hand squeezing the back of my neck in an effort to ease the tension. “No. I can’t.”
“Hawk?”
“Yeah?”
“Are you okay? What’s wrong?”
Tipping my chin up to look at her, I said, “I’m trying to prepare myself for the worst.”
“The worst? What do you think is going to happen?”
My eyes roamed over her beautiful face, those pretty lips and stunning eyes. That mouth I’d kissed.
I shrugged. “Did they tell you to walk away?”
She blinked, her lips parting, but she didn’t respond. For a long while—it felt like ages—Chloe simply stared at me.
A horrible sense of dread washed over me.
Chloe stood from the couch, walked over to me, and placed her palm on my chest. I’d stopped breathing, even as the scent of her consumed me.
“Do you think that my sister and friends learned the truth about you and told me to leave you? I understand you don’t know them, but do you think it’s possible they could convince me to walk away from the guy who’s made me the happiest I’ve been in my whole life?”
Chloe hadn’t hidden how much she liked us together. I knew it had brought her joy. “They’re the people closest to you,” I reasoned. “It’s not a stretch to think you’d value their opinions. That you’d take their advice.”
“You’re right. But I feel as though you’re operating under the assumption that they gave me bad advice.”
I needed to touch her. This close to her, feeling like I was spiraling, I needed something.
So, I reached for her hand. “I’m not suggesting it’s bad advice.
I think I’ve made it clear that I understand most people don’t have a favorable opinion of me.
They’d give you that advice because they care about you.
In their minds, it’s good advice. As much as I don’t want it to be the case, even I can admit that’s probably true. ”
Disappointment leaked onto her features, and I sensed it was coming. “I hate to upset you, Hawk, but they didn’t give me bad advice. And for the record, bad advice would be urging me to leave you.”
My body tensed. “They didn’t?”
She shook her head.
“But… But then you didn’t tell them the truth about me?”
“I don’t know that I like the way you phrased that, but if you’re asking if I told them what you asked me to tell them, the answer is yes.
” Her fingertips pressed firmly against my chest. “Yes, I told them about how I met a man who felt such deep love, care, and devotion to his baby sister after practically raising her himself that he suffered a moment of poor judgment when he saw his sister being violated. I told them about how you had ten years of your life taken from you for that mistake. And I explained how you’ve only had about two years of freedom.
Freedom that doesn’t really seem like freedom when you’re living in this constant state of distress about how someone you like will view you.
I told them everything you wanted me to tell them. ”
“And?”
She let out a long breath with a shake of her head. “And they felt terrible for what you endured. They thought you did what any sane, rational person who loved someone would do in a situation like that. Nobody believes it was your intention to end another man’s life.”
This all sounded like it was heading in the right direction, but I couldn’t give myself permission to relax when I sensed there was still more to come. “Are you… Are you saying that they didn’t try to convince you to leave me?”
“You break my heart, baby.” Sadness washed over her, and I hated myself for making her feel even an ounce of misery.
“You’re a good man, Hawk. And today, some of the closest people in the world to me saw that.
They loved the way you were with me, and they see just how happy I am with you.
When it comes to what you wanted me to share with them, they’re saddened by it for how it impacted your life, but they think what you did is admirable.
You defended your sister. Again, you’re a good man. I wish you could see that.”
The agony in her voice could’ve brought me to my knees. “I’m trying, sweetness. I swear, I’m trying.”
Chloe slid her arms around my waist and pressed her cheek to my chest. “I understand why your first thought is to assume the worst, but you can trust me.”
“I do trust you.”
Tipping her chin up, she looked at me. “If that’s true, trust that I’d never intentionally put you in a situation that would be uncomfortable for you.
I realize we’re going to encounter things along the way that are unpleasant, but sharing you with my family and friends isn’t something you need to be worried about. ”
She was right.
I needed to give her the benefit of the doubt in situations like this.
Chloe hadn’t once done anything to indicate she was anything but supportive.
She always had my best interests at heart.
When I took the time to think rationally about all of it, just this afternoon she’d proven she hadn’t been lying to me a week ago.
Chloe would go to bat for me. She was willing to fight tooth and nail to protect what was hers. And if there was one thing that I didn’t have any questions about, it was that.
I was hers.
But if I wanted to make sure that I stayed hers, that she’d remain mine, I was going to have to stop assuming the worst in every situation.
Trailing my fingertips along the side of her face, I said, “I’m sorry for leaving like I did today.”
“It’s okay. It was a lot.”
“Maybe. But I don’t like that I ruined the meeting with your friends.”
She smiled and tightened her arms around me. “We’ll find another time to get together. Maybe we’ll get the whole gang together.”
My brows shot up. “The whole gang? You make it sound like that wasn’t everyone.”
“It wasn’t. There’s Taj, Kingston, Archer, Phoenix, and Ace.”
“Are they the brothers?”
“They are.”
“And you think they’ll want to meet me?”
“Absolutely. Though I can’t say that Kingston’s brotherly instincts won’t kick in.”
I chuckled, feeling reassured that Chloe wanted me to meet the rest of her family and friends. “I’ll prepare myself for that.”
She grinned. “A wise move.”
“Will you do me a favor?” I asked.
“Sure.”
“I know you’re making Gus’s cake for his birthday, but I’d like you to join me at his party. I want you to meet my sister.”
Tears filled her eyes. “I’d love that.”
After stroking my thumb along her cheek, I touched my lips softly to hers. “Good. Now, can I do something to make up for missing out on lunch with you today?”
Chloe perked up. “Are you planning to make me dinner?”
“I was planning on that. But I thought I’d start with an appetizer first.”
“Oh?”
I nodded slowly, my hand drifting down over her ass. “You won’t mind if I have a little taste of you before we have dinner, will you?”
My girl licked her lips. “Only if I get to have a taste of you, too.”
And there was just more proof of how lucky I was. “I think that can be arranged.”