Chapter 26
TWENTY-SIX
CHLOE
Over the four months I’d known Hawk, I’d witnessed a variety of expressions and emotions.
But the second he stepped into my hospital room, I couldn’t read the look on his face. The only thing I was certain of was that it wasn’t good.
Because not only were his eyes narrowed and his lips pressed together, but he was also still as a statue, standing on the opposite side of the room with his clothes covered in blood. There was so much of it… I worried that he’d been hurt, too.
Everything about this felt wrong.
Hesitantly, I called, “Hawk?”
He bowed his head briefly, making me believe he felt some sense of relief. But when he looked at me again, I didn’t see any warmth there.
“I spent a lot of time getting used to being alone,” he said, forcing me to blink in surprise at the odd response. “It was a mundane, miserable existence, but I accepted it as a consequence of the choices I’d made. Then you came into my life and turned everything upside down.”
Hawk crossed his arms over his chest, and I got the sense he was just getting started.
“I went against doing what I know I should’ve done, which was to continue living like I had been.
But you wouldn’t accept that. You pushed until I couldn’t say no.
You showed me things I never thought I’d see or experience again, or at all.
I never thought it could be so good, never knew it was possible until you showed me all that you did. ”
I didn’t know if it was the medication coursing through my body that made it so difficult, but I still couldn’t quite get a read on Hawk’s mood. Where was this heading?
“Then you threw yourself, your beautiful body, in front of those bullets meant for me,” he began again.
His eyes dropped briefly to his blood-stained clothes.
“Do you know what that was like for me? Do you know what it was like to watch the blood soak through those towels? To listen to you tell me you love me before you fell unconscious?”
My heart squeezed. In doing what I’d done, I never considered that part of it. The only thing I knew was that I didn’t want him to get hurt or killed.
Hawk finally crossed the room and took steps toward my bed. Each step felt like it was in slow motion. Maybe this medication really was having an impact on me.
When he came to a stop within touching distance of me, he said, “You pulled me out of the darkest shadows of my life. Then you threatened to send me to a place far worse with what you did, Chloe. For hours, I thought you were as good as dead. And you made it so I lived like that for hours. How? How could you do that to me?”
What I’d begun to believe was scorn had suddenly shifted. The tone of Hawk’s voice told me he was in agony, that he felt nothing but despair.
“Hawk, I… I saw that gun pointed at you, and I couldn’t bear the thought of you being hurt,” I explained, tears clouding my vision.
“And you thought I could do that with you, especially when those bullets were meant for me?” The strain in his voice was unmistakable.
“I’ve been struggling from the moment I saw that name on the order form.
And when my worst fears came to fruition, when my former life finally caught up to me with you in its wake, you thought it was smart to ignore what I was telling you. ”
I shook my head, tears spilling down my cheeks. “It wasn’t about it being smart. It was about loving you, not wanting anything to happen to you.”
“And what about what I wanted?” He shoved his thumb into his own chest and stared at me.
When I said nothing, because I had no idea what else I could say, Hawk shook his head and collapsed into the chair beside the bed. For the first time since he entered the room, he touched me.
Hawk lifted my hand in his, rested his elbow on the mattress, and dropped his head forward, pressing the back of my hand against his forehead. I watched him struggle to take several deep, settling breaths.
Tipping his chin up slightly, he shifted his lips to the spot where his forehead had been resting. As he pressed kisses there, he whispered, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
God, the torment he was experiencing was overwhelming. “Hawk, baby, I’m okay.”
Snapping his head in my direction, he croaked, “Your neck, Chloe. You were shot twice, and one of those bullets grazed your neck. Do you understand how lucky you are? Fractions of an inch in the opposite direction, and there would’ve been a very different outcome.
One that I would’ve had to live with for the rest of my life. ”
Twisting my hand in his hold, I cupped his cheek and stroked my thumb along the skin. “I’m sorry for putting you through so much. That was never my intent.”
Guilt twisted on his handsome face. “I was going to leave.”
“What?”
After taking my hand in his again, he shook his head.
“I came back here to see you before you woke up. I apologized to you for what happened, and I thanked you for allowing me to feel all that you’ve allowed me to feel since you came into my life.
Then I kissed you, promised you I’d never forget you, and left.
I walked out of this room intent on letting you go, so I could be sure you’d stay safe.
Because despite how foolish your choice was today, I’m the reason that choice had to be made anyway. ”
He left?
He intended to walk away from me?
“But you’re still here,” I noted.
Hawk squeezed my hand. “You told me that you and Mia were opposites.”
“What?”
“Mia learned what I was going to do, and she said more words to me in a matter of minutes than she’s spoken to me the entire time I’ve known her,” he explained.
“Then your dad stepped in. And between the two of them, they got me to see what a mistake I’d be making.
Finally, the nurse came out and said you were asking for me.
Did you want me, Chloe? Do you want me?”
Without hesitation, I answered, “Yes, Hawk. Of course, I do. I love you.”
“Then you can’t put yourself in any position where you make it a possibility for me to have to live without you,” he ordered.
“You can’t put me through this again, Chloe.
You pushed for me to allow you into my life.
Then you made me fall in love with you. Please, sweetness, I’m begging you to make me a promise now.
That you won’t ever again do what you did today. ”
Tears welled in my eyes. “You fell in love with me?”
His head tipped toward one shoulder. “How could you not know? I’m so in love with you. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“If that’s true, why haven’t you kissed me? Why did you come in here all stone-faced and serious?”
Hawk rose from the chair, leaned forward, and captured my mouth with his. The moment his tongue slipped past my lips and into my mouth, he groaned, deep and guttural.
Our lips lingered for a while, the heaviness of the day’s events weighing on us. When Hawk pulled back, he brushed his thumb lightly across my cheek and said, “You didn’t make me that promise.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“I need you to do that.”
“I can’t.”
His fingers twitched against my skin. “What?”
My throat grew painfully tight. “You told him to shoot you.”
Hawk’s entire frame locked.
“You told him to shoot you,” I repeated myself. “If you want me to promise never to throw myself between you and flying bullets, then I’m going to need you to promise never to tell anyone to shoot you.”
Hawk stared at me for a long time without saying a single word.
“I have to make you another promise before you’re going to give me just one?” he countered, amusement back on his handsome features.
The corners of my mouth tipped up in a smile. “You’re mine, Hawk. I already told you I was going to fight to protect what’s mine. So, if you tell someone to shoot you, I’m going to put myself in front of those bullets.”
Whether he intended to or not, I didn’t know, but it appeared Hawk was making peace with this situation as the tension eased out of his body and his features softened. “I promise I will never tell anyone to shoot me again.”
I closed my eyes and sighed, allowing the relief to settle in. “Then I promise not to jump in front of flying bullets.”
“What did I do to deserve you, sweetness?”
I arched a brow. “Well, it certainly wasn’t the way you knew how to sweet talk a girl after she’s been shot twice.”
He laughed. “I’m sorry. I just… I was so scared.
Terrified. Then I heard you were going to be okay, so I felt relieved but guilty.
I panicked, thought you’d be better off, safer, without me around.
And when I realized I couldn’t do that, couldn’t walk away from you, I got mad.
Because you mean the world to me, Chloe.
And if something ever happens to you, I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself. ”
My fingers curled around his wrist and squeezed. “I’m here, baby. And I’m okay.”
Hawk sat on the edge of the bed, closed his eyes, and sighed with relief. “You have to stay that way, sweetness. Please.”
He was so tormented by this. “I promise I’m going to do my best to stay that way. Speaking of which, the guy who did this…”
“He was arrested. Your dad said your Uncle Levi got the camera footage from your shop, worked with the police, and they arrested him.”
That made me feel better. “So, it’s over?”
Nodding, he said, “I’d like to think so. I can’t promise there aren’t other people who don’t like that I’m a free man now, but I can’t imagine there’re many more who’d want to take things that far. So, yes, beyond us probably needing to speak with the police, I think the worst of it is over.”
“My parents are here?” I asked.
Hawk smiled. “Chloe, everyone is here. Your parents, Kingston, Mia, and all your friends.”
With perfect timing, a knock came at the door. And a moment later, my parents, Mia, and Kingston all walked in. They took one look at Hawk sitting beside me, noted all was well, and smiled.
“Hi,” I said.