CHAPTER THIRTY- ONE #3
Najee leaned forward again, elbows on his knees, hands clasped tight.
“Jackie,” he said, voice raw now, “you terrify me.” Her spine straightened. “What?”
“You terrify me,” he repeated. “The way you move. The way you feel. The way you soften when you don’t mean to. I’ve spent years controlling my emotions, my impulses, and my narrative.”
His eyes locked onto hers. “You take that control from me.” Her breath stuttered.
“And that night?” he continued. “That wasn’t light to me. It wasn’t casual either . And I realized if I stayed near you, if I kept seeing you every day. Something was going to happen that I couldn’t take back.” Her heart plummeted. “So, you ran,” she whispered. “Yes.”
“And now?” His gaze dropped to the bouquet she still held like armor.
“Now,” he said slowly, “I’m done running.” The words landed soft and bruising.
“What does that even mean?” she asked.
“It means I’m going to figure out how to be in your life without compromising your son’s care.”
“And if you can’t?”
“Then I’ll remove myself from his case completely.” Jackie’s heart skipped.
“I won’t sacrifice Max,” he said firmly. “But I won’t lie to you either.”
The Silence thickened—warm, electric, unbearable.
Jackie wanted to believe him, and low-key part of her already did.
But her head and her heart were at odds.
Per usual. Her mind couldn’t help but register this whole ordeal as a lesson learned.
The last three weeks replayed on a loop.
The silence. The uncertainty. The feeling of being discarded.
“You can’t just say shit like that,” she murmured.
Najee’s brow lifted. “Say what?”
“That you’ll step off Max’s case.” Her throat tightened.
“My baby comes first always.” He leaned in, elbows braced on his knees, voice steady but carrying weight. “I’m not saying it lightly.” he said. “But what’s happening between us is not small. And pretending it is? Would be irresponsible.” Jackie swallowed hard, heat rising in her chest.
“That’s the problem,” she whispered. “I don’t want irresponsible. I don’t want messy. I don’t want to hurt my son because I’m entertaining feelings for somebody I shouldn’t be.”
Najee nodded slowly. Not in agreement, but in understanding.
“Then let’s not make it messy,” he said softly.
“Let’s confront it honestly and intentionally.”
“Oh, so now you want to be intentional?” Jackie said rolling her eyes.
Najee closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Jackie—”
“No,” she cut him off, sitting forward, bouquet shifting in her lap.
“You don’t get to ghost me, switch up at sessions, play doctor all week, then come in here talking about you’re done running. That feels like manipulation.” His eyes snapped to hers.
“It’s not manipulation,” he said, too calm, too controlled.
“It’s me trying to reconcile two things that shouldn’t exist at the same time.”
“Which are?”
“What I feel for you.”
He held her gaze.
“And the professional responsibility I’m obligated to uphold.” Jackie froze. “Nigel…” His voice lowered to something intimate and heavy.
“You asked for honesty. That’s mine.” Her pulse jumped, and her whole body went still.
Jackie hated this, hated how open he was making her feel. Hated that she wanted to believe him. Fear rose in her throat before she could swallow it down. “And what happens if you pick wrong?” she whispered. “If we cross a line and my son loses the person who helped him the most?”
“Then we don’t pick wrong,” he said. “We choose clarity over fear.”
“You think I’m scared of you?”
“I think you’re scared of what you feel.” That hit dead center. She cleared her throat.
“I’m not one of your little fucking patients.”
“You’re not,” he said softly. “Which is why I can’t treat you like one.”
Silence pressed in again. “I cared about that night,” he admitted.
“About you in my arms, and the way you trusted me.” Her chest tightened.
“And I cared about not ruining what we were building—with your son, with you.” She blinked slowly.
“And now?” she asked. Najee swallowed, gaze flicking to her lips before returning to her eyes.
“Now,” he said low, “I’m tired of pretending I don’t want you. ”
Her pulse slammed. “This is complicated,” she whispered.
“Everything real is.”
“So what do we do?”
“We go slow,” he said. “We stay honest. We protect Max first.”
“And us?”
“We figure it out one truth at a time.” Jackie believed him. And that scared the hell out of her.
“I think that’s enough for today,” she said suddenly. “That wasn’t the session though.”
“But it felt like one.” She stood, and he rose with her. They were close now. Too close for it to feel casual. They weren’t touching. Still… she could feel the weight of him, steady and unmoving in front of her. “I gotta go.” He didn’t reach for her or try to stop her. He just walked her out.
“I’m not ready,” she said turning to face him before entering the black car awaiting her.
“I know.” He responded as he stood there on the landing of the brownstone.
“But I’m not done either,” she said as his eyes softened “Neither am I.”