CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
JACKIE
Jackie wanted to disa-fucking-pear…
She barely held it together through the rest of the session.
Max, bless his chatty little heart, had no clue the shitstorm he’d kicked up.
He answered Najee’s questions easily, light and completely oblivious to the way heat crawled up Jackie’s neck every time she caught Najee watching her over the rim of his glasses.
That look wasn’t warm anymore. Wasn’t curious either.
It was distant, controlled, and laced with enough restraint for Jackie to know he was pissed, and honestly, she understood why.
She had been moving shifty ever since Syxe had the baby.
But it wasn’t what it looked like. At least not really.
Life had been turning her every which way except loose.
Syxe’s postpartum hit harder than anybody expected.
Not the worst-case Jackie had ever seen, but not light either.
She noticed it almost immediately in the delivery room, though she kept her concerns to herself at first because she didn’t want to label it too soon or scare Syxe while she was still trying to adjust.
The second Jackie finally brought it to Montana, he moved fast. Within days, Monty had a whole team in the house.
A postpartum doula. A baby nurse. A therapist. Whatever Syxe needed, he threw money at it until it appeared at the front door.
Still, Syxe mostly responded to Jackie. Sometimes Kormia too, but mostly Jackie.
It wasn’t that Syxe didn’t love her baby.
That was never the issue. She just seemed disconnected from herself.
From her body. From the world around her.
So what was only supposed to be a few days, turned into damn near a month.
She and Max were living out of suitcases in Syxe’s guest room while Max treated the entire situation like an extended vacation.
Him, Micah, and Imani were having the time of their lives.
Meanwhile, Jackie and Montana were quietly fighting for theirs, trying to get Syxe to accept help without making her feel broken in the process.
Eventually, things started getting better.
Slowly. Syxe let Jackie and the doula help wash her hair.
Started spending more time out of bed and even talking more.
Then she finally agreed to see a psychiatrist. Small steps, but enough for Jackie to finally feel like they were moving in the right direction.
At the same time, Jackie still had her own shit hanging over her head.
Marcus was calling and texting her damn near every night, harassing her, threatening her, calling her everything but a child of God.
MJ had gone to homecoming and even won king of the court with his date.
Nef sent pictures afterward, and seeing her baby smiling, grown, handsome, and looking even older than the last time she saw him did something heavy to Jackie’s chest. She didn’t have the luxury of falling apart, especially with Syxe depending on her and Fat Daddy still being her top priority.
Jackie was stretched thin in every way imaginable.
But like always, she swallowed it down and kept it moving.
Luckily, Syxe had finally gotten to a place where Jackie felt comfortable leaving.
Which meant she could finally return home, back to her life, her routine, and most importantly herself.
As beautiful as Syxe’s house was, spending all that time there only reminded Jackie that there ain’t no place like home.
And through all of it, Najee had stayed consistent.
Calling. Checking in. Sending flowers to Montana’s house even while she barely responded.
He was putting in effort even when she wasn’t.
And if Jackie were being honest, being overwhelmed wasn’t the only reason she went ghost. The real reason was guilt.
She had spent the night at Cash’s house, and although nothing happened, she still hadn’t told him. And at this point she didn’t know how. All of it felt messy as hell. Now she was driving Cash’s Range Rover while half the school looked at her like she was some kind of home wrecker.
Jackie heard the whispers. Saw the side-eyes.
Felt the judgment every time she walked through that building, especially from Cash’s mean-ass mother.
And every time she tried to give the truck back, Cash refused because he knew she needed it.
All of that on top of everything else had become too much.
So, Jackie stopped coming to Max’s sessions.
Partly because she trusted Dr. Ish. But mostly because she didn’t feel like being scrutinized.
She knew exactly what everything looked like, but for once in her life, Jackie was trying to pick her battles carefully.
She liked Najee. A lot. Which was exactly why she pulled back, she didn’t want any of this messy shit staining him too.
When the session finally ended and Max headed back to class, Jackie stayed behind.
The room went quiet almost immediately. Najee moved around the office calmly, gathering papers and closing files while Jackie packed up slower than necessary from her spot on the sofa.
Truthfully, she knew she was dragging it out.
Knew he probably wanted her to get the fuck out his office so they could both pretend none of this happened.
Still, she couldn’t leave without saying something.
For two full minutes, Jackie sat there hoping he’d look up first. Praying he’d say something that made this easier.
But Najee barely acknowledged her presence, moving through emails and paperwork with the kind of composure that somehow irritated her more than if he’d outright snapped.
Finally, Jackie closed her eyes briefly and let out a slow breath. “Nigel.”
His attention lifted toward her once, expression unreadable behind those glasses. “Jacqueline.” Jackie’s jaw tightened instantly. Because not this nigga calling me by my whole government name.
“I was gonna explain... about that night,” she said carefully. One of his brows lifted slightly, but his expression never really changed. “No explanation necessary,” he replied smoothly.
“Y’all grown.” That hit harder than she expected.
“Don’t do that,” Jackie said immediately. “Do what?” Najee asked as he closed his laptop.
“Act like you not mad,” she shot back, crossing her arms. “You feel a way, say it.”
A small smile touched his mouth then, sharp, but thin enough to let her know he was still irritated underneath all that calm. “Why would I feel a way?” he asked lightly. “Like I said…grown. You sleep where you want.” The words landed exactly how he intended them to.
Jackie stepped closer before she could stop herself, lowering her voice.
“I didn’t plan for that night to happen.
You of all people should know how shit play out sometimes.
” Najee leaned back against his desk, folding his arms slowly.
“Oh, I know,” he said quietly. “I’m just trying to figure out if you also didn’t plan on driving his truck around all month either. ”
Jackie blinked at him once before letting out a short, humorless laugh.
“So that’s what we on?” His eyes moved over her carefully then, measured in a way that somehow made her feel more exposed than if he’d actually raised his voice.
“Just saying,” he replied evenly. “Optics matter, right? Or maybe that only applies when it’s not him.
” That one cut deeper than she wanted it to.
“Not that I owe you an explanation,” Jackie shot back, her tone sharpening, “but let’s be very fucking clear.
You couldn’t pursue me publicly anyway. You’re on Max’s treatment team, remember?
This whole situation is a conflict of interest. Your words not mine.
” Najee’s smile widened slightly, but there was nothing soft in it.
“You sound real defensive for somebody who don’t owe nobody an explanation.
” Jackie opened her mouth, already ready to go off, but Najee cut in before she could.
“Let me start here.” Something about the shift in his tone made Jackie still automatically.
“You lied to me, Jackie.” Silence settled between them instantly.
“I understand why you did it,” he continued calmly.
“But you still lied. And then you kept lying.” Jackie’s chest pulled.
“And you’re absolutely right,” he said. “Us being together publicly right now would absolutely be a conflict of interest. That’s exactly why I handled what needed to be handled.
” His eyes stayed locked on hers. “Contrary to popular belief, I don’t say things I don’t intend to stand on.
” The room went quiet again, but this time the silence felt heavier.
Jackie kept her arms crossed, though her posture shifted slightly like she was bracing herself against something she hadn’t expected him to say out loud. “And I do?” she muttered.
Najee didn’t rise to it. Didn’t react emotionally at all. He just looked at her steadily.
“You’re defensive,” he said finally, his tone more observant than accusatory.
“And honestly, I understand why.” That hit quicker than yelling probably would’ve.
“I’m not—”
“You are,” he interrupted calmly. “And I get it.” Jackie stopped talking after that.
Because for the first time since this conversation started, she realized he wasn’t trying to scold her.
He was trying to understand her. “You had a lot going on,” Najee continued.
“Syxe, Max, life and whatever else you carrying right now. And you ain’t handle everything the cleanest way, but I’m not here to rake you over the coals for that.
” Jackie pressed her lips together tightly because she couldn’t even argue with him.
“I’m also not asking you to explain yourself to me,” he added.
“But don’t confuse my silence with confusion Jackie.” His gaze held hers steadily. “I meant what I said to you. Every part of it.” Something in Jackie’s chest shifted at that.
“And I haven’t moved off that.” There wasn’t hesitation in his voice.
No uncertainty either, just calm, unwavering honesty.
Najee stepped forward slightly then, not enough to crowd her but enough for Jackie to feel the shift in the room anyway.
“I don’t do in-between, Jackie,” he said quietly.
“And I don’t deal with people who do. I’m not halfway about you.
I’m not on the fence. And I’m not about to start now.
” Jackie’s fingers flexed at her sides because his delivery wasn’t harsh or cruel, just real in a way she wasn’t used to.
The room fell quiet again, but this time the silence didn’t feel tense.
It felt clear. Jackie slowly lowered her arms. “I wasn’t unsure about you,” she continued finally, her voice softer now.
Najee didn’t interrupt he just watched her carefully.
“I was unsure about everything and everyone else,” she admitted. Her fingers brushed lightly against her thigh, grounding herself. “But you?” she said shaking her head. “You weren’t complicated. You were easy. Too easy even.” Something subtle shifted behind Najee’s eyes then.
“And I didn’t trust that” Jackie admitted. “Because nothing in my life ever comes easy.”
The space between them felt different now, level instead of strained.
Najee nodded slowly like he understood exactly what she meant.
“I hear you,” he said simply. Jackie exhaled carefully.
“So now what?” Najee held her gaze for a long second before answering.
“Now?” he repeated quietly. “You figure out what you standing on. And who you wanna stand with.”
That was it, and somehow that truth hit harder than confusion ever could. Najee straightened then, slipping back into professionalism so smoothly it almost gave her whiplash. “We’ll reschedule Max’s follow-up,” he said evenly. “My assistant will reach out.”
He was standing on business, that much was clear.
Jackie knew a boundary when she saw one, and rather than just apologize.
She swallowed, nodded once and straightened her shoulders in an attempt to match his energy.
But when she went to speak, all she could muster was a bitch ass, “okay.” Najee gave her one last look before walking past her toward the door.
It wasn’t indifferent, lingering, or searching.
It was steady, and that stilled her. Nobody put Jackie in the corner, yet somehow this nerdy ass nigga with glasses, boundaries, and a cardigan had her sitting there completely on mute.
When Najee finally walked out the room, Jackie was left sitting with herself in a way she hadn’t expected.
And for the first time in a long time, she had to admit that maybe she really was part of the problem.
When it came to men, confusion had always been familiar to her.
In some twisted way, she had adjusted to it.
Learned how to function inside inconsistency, mixed signals, and emotional chaos without questioning it too hard.
But Najee was different. He communicated too clearly, moved with intention, and said exactly what he meant and stood on it every single time.
And somehow, that level of certainty weighed a lot heavier on Jackie than confusion ever did.