Chapter Nine
A perfect Montana sunset painted the sky, the creamsicle clouds framing the pastures in pillows of crisp orange and rosy pink and sunflower yellow. It reminded Amy of cotton candy, and she almost felt like she could reach out and pluck a handful from her place on the porch.
She’d been at Split Valley for the better part of the afternoon. When Josh had invited her out riding, it had been an easy yes, but when he’d asked her to stay for dinner… Well, how could she possibly turn down a glorious spring evening like this? Josh had been quick to suggest burgers, prepared with all the fixings, and Amy wondered if he’d been working up the nerve to ask her to stay one of the other evenings they’d spent together. He’d seemed delighted when she agreed, giving her one of those dimpled smiles, and Amy knew in her gut that her feelings for him had spiraled way past friendship. She’d said as much to Faith and to Angela Corey, but this was something else. She didn’t just like Josh.
What she felt… It was something more.
And the thought of him not feeling the same way almost made her want to be sick.
But then Josh looked up from the grill where he was flipping burger patties and grinned at her in a way that made her doubt such a thing was possible. Happiness welled inside her. That, and a fierce hunger. Her belly rumbled.
“Was that your stomach?” Josh laughed.
“Maybe.” Amy touched her belly. “I didn’t eat much for lunch, so this is a treat. I actually didn’t realize how hungry I was.”
“Well, glad you brought your appetite. Burgers are almost done. You want cheese and bacon on yours?”
“Is that even a question?”
“Right. We’ve talked about how Faith is making you suffer the turkey bacon.”
“ And whole grains,” Amy added. “She should have to answer for her crimes.”
“I’ll put a couple extra pieces of bacon on for you then. So you can indulge.”
Amy dipped her head in thanks. He was so effortlessly thoughtful. Bacon. It was such a silly thing to get emotional over, and yet she blinked back a sudden wave of tears. God, what was wrong with her? She tried not to stare at him as her cheeks flamed hotter than the grill. “I’m glad I don’t have to corrupt you to my bacon-loving ways.”
“No worries there. I am a red meat carnivore through and through. Poultry has its place. Just not on my burger.”
“Can I do something to help?” Amy asked.
“Grab the plates? And the condiments,” he said. “They’re on the counter in the kitchen. Unless you’d rather eat inside. I just thought that it’s shaping up to be a nice evening and we might as well keep enjoying it.”
“Definitely,” Amy agreed, heading for the house.
“Oh, there’s potato salad too,” he called.
Amy tossed a look over her shoulder, impressed.
“Don’t get too excited. Angela made it.”
“I’m learning so much tonight.”
“I may not know my way around the kitchen that well, but I do know my way around the grill.”
Amy winked. “And that’s what really matters.”
She slipped through the door. Walking through Josh’s space didn’t feel foreign the way she thought it might. It was comfortable, filled with old wooden furniture and little touches of home she figured had been left over from his mother—the checkered throw blanket tossed over the back of the couch, the cute framed cross-stitches hung along the wall, the family portraits. In the kitchen, she gathered up the essentials for dinner and took them outside, along with a glass of sweet tea for each of them.
“You were blond,” she said, coming back to the porch.
“Huh?”
“As a boy. You had blond hair.”
“Oh.” He ran a hand through his hair, and she appreciated the way the locks parted on either side of his face. “Guess I was. It darkened up by the time I started middle school. You snooping at the family pictures?”
“Can’t be snooping when they’re hanging out right in the open.”
Josh plated up the burgers, and they dressed them up to their liking, then sat side by side in the Adirondack chairs, watching the last of the sunset wash across the sky. It felt like such a simple thing, being there together, eating dinner, but it also felt like everything. Amy didn’t know how else to describe it. How else to express the overwhelming bubble of contentment that rose up inside her. The swell of peace made her feel like she was floating. And if that was the case, she never wanted to come down.
“Good?” Josh asked, catching her eye.
“Really good,” she said. “You were right. You know your way around the grill.”
“I had to figure out some way to survive bachelorhood.”
“Has it… Have you…” Amy wasn’t quite sure how to ask what she wanted to ask. “Feel free to tell me to mind my own business,” she started again.
Josh sat up in his chair. “It’s okay. You can ask.”
“Has it been that long since… there was someone important in your life?”
Josh opened his mouth, closed it. He sucked in a deep breath, letting it out again. “Yeah. A good long while. My previous relationship, the one with Erica, she was the last woman I was serious with. And I’m not very good at being non-serious , so I haven’t really been dating around or seeing anyone. I’m just not so good at the going out thing and being around heaps of people all the time. I’m my best self here. On the ranch. Where I can be outside. And I appreciate that’s not everyone’s cup of tea.”
“Well, I like this Josh,” Amy assured him. The corner of his mouth quirked, and a coil of desire swept through her. It was getting harder to shoo these feelings away when she was with him. She wanted to run her fingers along his stubbled jawline and taste the heat of the day on his lips.
“What are you thinking?” Josh said, peering deeply into her eyes.
Amy huffed. “About how strange fate can be.”
“You mean how you can stumble into the right person when you least expect it?”
“Something like that,” she said.
“You feel like the right person.”
Amy opened her mouth, closed it, swallowing down her gasp.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
She nodded. “Sometimes you say awfully sweet things, cowboy. And it catches me off guard.”
“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
“No, you didn’t,” Amy said. “I just—”
“What?”
“I don’t know,” she said honestly. There were a lot of things she wanted to say right now. But what if they ruined everything? What if Josh didn’t really mean those words? Tru had used pretty words too. You feel like the right person . If she was wrong, this would devastate her. She caught Josh’s eye, trying to untangle her thoughts. Do you like me the way I like you, Josh Aventura? “I guess I’m worried I’m going to say something that’ll ruin this. And I’ve come to the realization that I don’t want to lose you.”
“Why would you lose me?” he asked.
“You’ve been really sweet to me these past weeks, Josh.” His brow pinched as she said it. “But I’m not sure I like you as a friend. As only a friend, I should say. I’m not sure I ever did.” The words left her in a rush, and suddenly her insides felt hollow and achy. She wanted to fill the space, fill the silence, with something. Anything. But there was nothing to do but watch the emotions shift across Josh’s face. His brow furrowed, and his mouth opened, but no words came out as he struggled through confusion and then another emotion Amy couldn’t confidently identify. Surprise, maybe? Was there a hint of a smile on his lips?
“So what you’re saying is…”
“That I like you an awful lot,” she whispered. “More than should be possible this soon.” God, she wanted to bury her face in her hands, but she resisted the urge. Resisted the urge to get up and run right off the porch. Had she ever felt this way about Tru? Filled with this heart-pounding, edge-of-her-seat desire and fear and hope? She couldn’t remember. Tru felt like lifetimes ago. Lifetimes that didn’t matter in a world where Josh existed.
“Amy.” Josh reached between them and caught her hand. “I want you to know that being here, with you, feels right in a way that I’m not sure I’ve ever felt.”
Her breath caught. “I feel the same way.”
Josh rose from his chair, crossed the short distance and leaned down, giving her plenty of time to stop him. To push him away. To tell him he’d gotten his wires crossed, but she didn’t, and Josh cupped her jaw with his hand and kissed her softly.
It was only a brush of lips.
Barely even a kiss.
But it was everything.
“Was that okay?” he asked.
“Yes,” she breathed.
“Good. I didn’t want you to leave here tonight not knowing how I felt.”
He kissed her again.
Sensation shot through her. It was electric, just that touch, and she gasped. If it all went downhill from here, then so be it. But at least she’d told him—shown him—how she felt too.
As Josh pulled away, Amy rose out of her chair. He gathered her into his arms, pulling her in for another kiss. She was reasonably tall, but he was taller, and she had to press up on her toes to deepen the kiss, tilting her head and sinking into the feel of him.
Josh’s hands smoothed up and down her back. Then he turned his head slightly, breaking the kiss. Amy heaved in a breath of air as Josh pulled away enough to lean against the railing. He kept his hands on her hips, but the distance between them left room for conversation again.
“I’ve been dying to do that for weeks,” he said, a little smile flickering across his face.
She giggled. She couldn’t help it. “Why didn’t you?”
“I was afraid I’d spook you.”
She snorted. “Like a skittish little horse?”
“Yes. Or that I’d chase you away.” He leaned down and pecked her on the corner of the mouth. “I’m still not convinced I won’t.”
“You won’t,” she assured him. She couldn’t believe she was saying those words after Tru, but Josh made her want to be bold. Or reckless. Maybe both. “And, unlike Bitsy, I don’t bite. You could have told me sooner.”
“I didn’t want to pressure you into anything.” He pulled back again. “We can take this as slow as you want. I realize that you only got out of that relationship a few months ago.”
Amy curled her fingers in the fabric of his shirt, tugging him closer. “That doesn’t matter anymore. And I think we’ve been taking things slow,” she said. “Considering how we both feel.” Now that she knew, now that she had him like this, she didn’t want there to be any more distance. She wanted to be with Josh. Here. Now. She reached up and nipped at his jaw playfully. “We don’t have to stop.”
Josh groaned, pressing his face against her neck. She could feel his warm breath against her skin and it was wonderful. “Are you sure?”
“ You don’t have to stop.”
“Amy, I mean it. This doesn’t have to happen now. It won’t change how I feel.”
“I think you should stop talking and kiss me already.”
He did, both hands on her cheeks, and Amy felt like she was floating.
Josh deepened the kiss again, his tongue looking for entrance, and Amy let her lips fall open, let herself sink into the bliss that crept through her veins. Her heart was beating so hard, and she was breathless, and for a few moments, they let themselves be breathless. Neither of them speaking.
“God, I want you.” Josh looked at her, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “Do you want to go inside?”
“Well, otherwise I’m gonna start stripping out here,” she teased. “And I’m not sure that’s a show you want your cattle to see.”
Josh laughed. “They’d be scandalized for sure.” He took her by the hand and led her into the house and straight upstairs to his bedroom. Amy tried to look around, tried to catalog the rustic wooden furniture and the cowboy hat hanging off the bedpost and the smell of cedar, but she was distracted as Josh’s fingers trailed up beneath her shirt.
“You made your bed,” she said, impressed.
“I always make my bed. Don’t you?”
“Only because Faith would be grumpy if I didn’t.” She kissed him. “I don’t see a point if I’m just gonna mess up the sheets again.”
“Because that’s half the fun. Give us a second to get horizontal and I’ll show you just how much fun.” His hands snaked up her shirt, skimming the underside of her breast. “I think this is in the way.”
Amy’s shirt was on the ground before she could work up words for a reply. Josh pressed against her, his hands suddenly everywhere, and she could feel the length of him. Amy tugged on his belt buckle and Josh got the message, shrugging out of his clothes while she shimmied out of hers.
They touched and caressed as they did, sending electric shivers through her body. Lord, she wanted him.
Josh reached for her again, his hands running over bare skin. “Are you on—”
“Yes,” she said. “But I think we should still use a condom.”
“Got it,” Josh said, reaching for a drawer by the bedside. There was the crinkle of a wrapper as Amy sat down on the bed, reclining back on her elbows just so she could look at him. Every tanned, muscled inch.
He grinned at her, taking a step closer to the bed before leaning down to press a kiss to her knee. Amy fell back, eyes closed, enjoying the sensation of his lips moving from one leg to the other, slowly inching toward the place she wanted him most.
“This okay?” he said, and Amy practically arched off the bed.
“Josh, I swear if you don’t touch me—”
And then he did, with his lips and his tongue, and Amy moaned. It was good, he was so good, that she practically forgot her own name as she trembled against him. He continued his way up her body, the weight of him enveloping her, and Amy kissed his lips as he settled between her hips.
“You’re sure?”
“Yes,” she said, and then Josh slid against her, making love to her as only a cowboy could. She arched and panted against his ear, and when she came undone, it was to the sound of her name on his lips.
Amy floated there for a long while, in the soft aftermath, content to be held.
“Did I tucker you out?” Josh asked eventually, his words a grumble as he pressed a soft kiss to her shoulder.
“I was almost asleep,” she hummed. “Unless you want me to leave?”
“Don’t you dare. You should message your sister though. Let her know you’re staying the night so she doesn’t think I kidnapped you.”
“Good idea.” Amy rallied enough to dig her phone out of her jeans, half hanging off the bed.
Josh’s hand wrapped around her hip, holding her in place. She smiled at that.
Won’t be home tonight. Don’t wait up, she texted.
Faith responded immediately. Amy! Oh my God, tell me everything!
Good night, Faith, she wrote, putting her phone away before her sister could start grilling her with questions. Questions she would be happy to answer tomorrow, when she wasn’t lying in Josh’s bed. She rolled back over into Josh’s waiting arms.
He tucked her against him, and for the first time in months, Amy felt safe and wanted. As far as a partner went, maybe for the first time in her life.