Chapter 28 Giselle
Giselle
Giselle finished frying the last of the chicken Saturday afternoon and set the pieces on paper towel to drain. She checked
the macaroni and cheese and, finding it brown and bubbly, removed it from the oven. With the late July temperatures climbing
into the nineties, she didn’t know why she’d chosen to prepare something that would make it even hotter. Thank goodness for air conditioning.
Shawn came into the kitchen and poured a glass of iced tea. “I forgot to ask you yesterday about the job. You mentioned them
opening up another position.”
“They opened it, but they made it clear that the educational requirements are nonnegotiable.” It always came back to her educational
background, or lack thereof. Lately she’d been feeling a level of unfulfillment that seemed to increase daily. Should she
try to go back to school? What if she went back and flunked out again? It had been so long since she’d been in a classroom,
Giselle feared she wouldn’t be able to keep up, especially with a full-time job. Taylor and Kamryn had done it, her husband
kept reminding her. But she wasn’t them.
“I’m sorry, babe.”
“It’s frustrating because they never have any problem with me filling in whenever someone’s out,” she added bitterly.
“Then maybe this is a sign for you to go back to school. And it doesn’t have to be anything related to this job or company.
You could choose something entirely different, and you know I’ll be here to support whatever you want to do.”
“We’ll see.” Somehow, all the things her mother had drilled into her head about what a good wife was supposed to do weren’t bringing her the supposed contentment promised. She made sure to have dinner ready every
day, put his needs above hers, tried not to complain and to keep a happy face, and made sure she didn’t prioritize her job
over family. Yet something was missing. “Anyway, I need to get this stuff packed up.”
“Is Taylor going to be there today?”
“She said she’d be there, but she canceled the last few times, so we’ll see. Mama Yvonne is supposed to be coming too.” Chanel
had invited the women over for a potluck in an effort to bring Taylor back into the group. Since Austin’s death, she had started
distancing herself from the family and had missed a number of gatherings.
“Tariq mentioned her saying she felt as if she didn’t belong anymore, and I get it. She probably thinks that she no longer
has a connection to us now that Austin is gone. But that’s far from the truth. She’ll always be family.” He paused. “I still
can’t believe it’s been over a year and that I’ll never see him again.”
She walked over and wrapped her arms around him.
“Getting through this year has been tough for everybody.” Shawn hadn’t said much in the way of his feelings, but she knew he’d taken his brother’s death hard.
There were times when she found him just sitting and staring outside with a look of misery on his face.
Whenever she asked if he wanted to talk about it, he’d say no, so she had stopped asking.
Giselle stepped out of his arms and packed up the food.
“Do you want me to leave you some for dinner?”
“Nah. I’m good. Since you ladies are doing your thing, the guys decided we’d have our own night at my parents’ house. Dad
and Tariq are firing up the grill, so it’ll be good eating. What are you having with the chicken and mac and cheese?” Shawn
asked as he sipped his tea.
“Chanel is doing candied yams, corn bread, and some kind of vegetable, and Kamryn is doing desserts and some of those little
lamb chops your mother loved. Chanel told your mom that she gets to have the evening off.”
“That’s cool. Bring me back a little of whatever desserts Kam made.”
“I knew you were going to say that.” It still irked her that he always made such a big deal about Kamryn’s food.
“I’ve been saying it for the past five years, so I’m still not sure why it bothers you. Vincent and Pops say the same thing,
but Chanel and Mom don’t get all upset. And I thought you and Kam were kind of cool now.”
“I don’t really say much to her. Makes my life easier.” The only time the two of them had done anything together was during
those first few weeks after Austin died. But Kamryn’s know-it-all attitude hadn’t changed in Giselle’s book. She still tried
taking over the kitchen whenever they were at her in-laws’ house. And now that she and Tariq had the baby, her in-laws had
placed the woman on an even higher pedestal. They’d be at Chanel’s tonight, and she’d bet Kamryn would try to do the same
thing.
He just shook his head, finished his drink, and walked out.
Shawn had very little to say when she said goodbye. The distance between them seemed to be growing. She’d tried to do a couple
of the suggestions her friend Daphne had made to spice things up, but she didn’t feel like they’d helped. Maybe just in the
moment, but soon after, the gap returned.
Mama Yvonne and Kamryn were already there when she arrived. After rounds of greetings, Giselle placed the still-hot food on
the trivets Chanel indicated sitting on a long cabinet behind the dining table.
“That looks good, Giselle,” Mama Yvonne said.
“Thanks. Where’s Taylor?”
Chanel entered the dining room with the yams. “She’s on her way.”
“I’m so glad she’s coming,” Kamryn said. “I miss her hanging out with us.”
“She’s still hurting, like we all are, and we just have to give her time and make sure she knows we’re here for her.”
Kamryn hugged Mama Yvonne. “We all are still struggling. I can’t tell you how many times Imani has brought Tariq’s or my phone
wanting us to call Austin, especially after seeing one of his pictures. She points to it and says, ‘AuAu,’ and it’s all I
can do not to break down.”
“How’s Tariq doing?” Chanel asked.
“He’s still struggling through the grief process, but he’s starting to have more good days than not now. Girl, I was not ready
for my husband to completely break down. I couldn’t say one word. I just held him.” She dabbed the corners of her eyes with
her fingers.
“Same with Vincent. He’s only cried a few times, but he gets this faraway look sometimes. The good thing is that we talk about
it, then start reminiscing on the fun memories.”
Giselle felt a pang of envy. Once again, she was the only one whose husband wouldn’t open up to her. She wanted to ask how they got the men to talk but didn’t want them to know what was going on in her house. Fortunately, Mama Yvonne changed the subject, and no one asked.
“And why didn’t you bring my grandbaby with you?”
“I tried,” Kamryn said with a laugh, “but that girl told me she was going with her daddy, and nothing I said would sway her.
At least you’ll get to have her for an entire weekend in a couple of weeks when we celebrate our anniversary. These five years
seemed to fly by.”
The doorbell rang, and Chanel went to answer it. She came back a minute later with Taylor. Giselle noticed that Taylor had
lost a few pounds from her slender frame and that the light in her eyes had dimmed.
“You made it.” Kamryn rushed over and wrapped Taylor up in a long hug.
Taylor gave a tiny wave. “Hey, everybody.” She exchanged quick hugs with Chanel and Giselle.
Mama Yvonne grabbed her up. “I’m so glad to see you, baby. So glad. We missed you at Thanksgiving and Christmas.”
“I know, and I’m sorry. It was just too hard.” Tears filled her eyes. “I feel like I’ve lost everything, and I’m all alone.”
“Shawn wanted me to let you know that you will always be part of this family,” Giselle said.
The other women echoed the sentiment.
“You’ve been my daughter from the first day my son brought you home, and that will never change. No matter what.”
Giselle wondered if Mama Yvonne would feel the same way if Taylor happened to start dating someone else.
In her mind, it would be awkward at best, like she was bringing in some guy to take Austin’s place.
But then again, this family seemed to operate differently, and she could see them embracing the relationship.
“I love y’all,” Taylor said.
“We love you too.” Chanel held up a hand. “I just want to say . . . oh!” She slapped a hand over her mouth and bolted from the room.
They all took off after her and got to the bedroom just as the bathroom door slammed shut.
“Chanel, are you all right?” Mama Yvonne asked, concern lining her face.
The only reply was violent retching.
Taylor pushed open the door, and they found Chanel on her knees in front of the toilet. Taylor dropped down beside her. “It’s
going to be okay,” she repeated over and over until Chanel slumped against the wall.
Kamryn grabbed a washcloth from a cabinet, wet it, and passed it to Chanel.
“Thanks,” she whispered, dabbing over her face and wiping her mouth.
“Are you feeling better?” Giselle asked, flushing the toilet.
Chanel gave her a tired smile. “I will be in a minute.” She closed her eyes briefly. “Well, that was a first. I hadn’t planned
on saying anything yet because . . .” She glanced over at Taylor.
“It’s okay.” Taylor grasped her hand. Both had tears in their eyes. “You don’t have to keep your good news a secret. I’ll
be fine.”
Giselle knew what it meant and braced herself for the announcement.
Kamryn and Mama Yvonne helped Chanel stand. “I think I’m good now. This isn’t exactly how I’d planned to say it, but we’re having a baby.”
While everyone was congratulating Chanel, Giselle felt as if another dagger had been plunged into her heart. Why was everyone
else being blessed with children and not her? She wasn’t a bad person, and she knew she would be a good mother. Definitely
a better one than her own.
“Congratulations.” Taylor hugged Chanel.
“Yes, girl. Congratulations,” Kamryn said. “Imani is going to love having a cousin.”
“Hallelujah! More grandbabies.” Mama Yvonne grasped both Chanel’s hands. “Oh, I am so happy. I know Vincent must be excited.
When is the baby due?”
“Vincent is beyond excited. I guess after this little mishap, I can text him and let him know he can share the news with the