Chapter 9
Change
Chapter Nine
Ella
Once again, I glance down at my phone. Two weeks ago, I invited Mitchell to the house for tacos, and he bypassed them. Mitchell loves my taco bar. Since that decline, he’s grown distant.
I couldn’t help but wonder if I’d done something wrong. The last thing I can think of is our encounter on my back patio. For just a split second, I allowed myself to think of how it would feel to kiss Mitch. And for a moment, I could almost imagine I saw the same desire in his eyes for me.
I know. I know. That was a stupid thought. The man is my ex-husband’s best friend. I’m sure he doesn’t think of me in that way. And there I was, practically drooling over him.
Maybe he got weirded out about that look and decided to keep his distance. All I know is that the space between us hurts. I guess that’s proof that I have relied too heavily on him. Hopefully, this date tomorrow will help take my mind off things.
“No, have her try on the black top,” Destiny says as she sips her wine.
Tonight was book club night. All the girls were at my house again instead of Jada’s, as in tradition, to help get me ready for the date.
Kyra had brought over the rack of clothes the ladies had helped me pick out. They stayed true to their word about giving me a wardrobe update.
“I don’t know about that one. It’s a lace corset. Don’t you think that’s too much for a first date?”
Jada walks back to the living room, eating one of my chocolate chip cookies she took off the table.
“Hell no.” She drops onto the couch across from me. “With your breasts, that man will be drooling.”
I look down at my size D cup boobs that are sitting high in the red v-neck dress I’m wearing.
Kyra pulls the black corset from the rack along with a black form-fitting blazer and jeans, and walks them over to me. She smiles as she hands the clothes to me.
“Trust me, okay?”
Shaking my head, I grab the clothes before heading into my bedroom.
I placed the garments down on the bed. My phone vibrates in my hand, letting me know I have a text.
I hurriedly fumble for it to see who’s texting me.
Disappointment settles in my belly when I realize it isn’t Mitch.
It’s Jeremy, the guy I’m going out with tomorrow.
He and I have been talking and texting for the last two and a half weeks.
Jeremy: I have to admit, I’m really excited about tomorrow.
Jeremy is the general manager of a popular cellphone retail store. He’s also a youth basketball coach. He loves coaching kids and spends a lot of his free time helping his grandmother. On paper, the guy checks all the boxes.
Me: I guess that makes two of us.
I replied before placing the phone on my bed. Despite how I’m feeling about Mitch, I am excited about this date. And nervous. I haven’t been out on a first date since I was fifteen years old. Hell, I’m not even sure what the protocols are on a first date anymore.
I quickly changed out of the dress, and into the new outfit Kyra handed me.
Standing before the full-length mirror in my bedroom, I stare at my reflection.
It’s been a long time since I’ve looked at myself and saw a sexy woman.
Not a pretty mother of two or an attractive wife, but an alluring woman.
“Ella, bring yourself out of that bedroom,” Pamela shouts with a chuckle.
“Yeah, Ella. We want to see,” Meagan adds.
Grabbing the expensive black heels with the familiar red bottoms, I admire them.
I’d bought these shoes last year for my anniversary.
I was trying to look beautiful for my husband.
His only words when he saw me were that I was going to bust my ass in those damn shoes.
At the time, I had quickly taken the heels off and changed into some flats.
I hadn’t worn the heels since. But today, I slip my feet into the shoes and walk out of my room.
The moment I turn the corner and into the living room all the women stop talking and stare back at me.
“Damn,” Destiny says, her wine glass halfway to her mouth.
Pamela, who has Ari sleeping on her shoulder, cups a hand over her mouth, her eyes growing watery.
“Oh, Ella,” Meagan sings with a hand to her chest. “You look incredible.”
My face heats up with my blush.
I walk further into the room. “I feel sexy,” I admit.
“And you should,” Jada stands and walks over to me.
She walks around my body, admiring every angle. She stops in front of me, taking her necklace from around her neck. It’s one of those long pendant necklaces that rest between the cleavage. And knowing Jada, it was expensive.
She places the necklace over my head and adjusts it so that it lies exactly where it should.
“Yes,” Kyra claps. “The necklace is perfect. A few gold bangles and this clutch.” She walks over to the rack and pulls a simple black clutch with a gold buckle down and hands it to me. When she steps back, she smiles brightly.
“Kyra, I never doubted your skills, but girl, you are damn good,” Jada says, and I couldn’t agree more.
“Thank you.” Kyra smiles as she gives a little bow.
“Yes, you did amazing. Now let’s hope my conversation can keep his attention the entire date,” I joke, taking a seat on the couch beside Meagan.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Pamela asks.
All the women are staring at me with raised eyebrows. I lean forward and grab a strawberry off the charcuterie board and bite into it with a shrug.
“Just something Andrew said.”
“And why are we listening to anything that asshat says?” Jada asks, placing her hands on her hips.
I know I shouldn’t take to heart anything Andrew said that day at my house, but those words seem to keep popping up in my head.
“No man is going to go chasing after some divorced mother of two who can’t hold a conversation past books and fucking cake recipes.”
I quickly recanted Andrew’s words that day to the ladies.
“You know that’s all bullshit, right?” Destiny asks leaning forward in her seat. “You have way more to talk about than that.”
“And even if you didn’t,” Jada chimes in. “Books are interesting, and with the way your ass can bake, you should talk about that shit. Fuck him.”
I laugh at her comment. The girls are always complimenting my baking skills. It was these women who encouraged me to sell my cakes and baked goods. Jada was my very first customer, even though all the girls have purchased from me multiple times.
“I know he’s lying and was just saying things to hurt me. But even though I know that to be true, those words still bother me.”
Look, I’m not new to Andrew's snide comments. I’m used to his cutting words and over the years have learned to block them out, but there are still moments when something he says seems to chip away at a hidden insecurity.
“And that’s why he says them,” Pamela says.
“He knows that they still have the power to harm you. So he uses them like daggers. Amir told me on the day we had our last court date for the divorce that he’s glad we never had a baby because he didn’t want me to carry his children.
” Her face pinches as she repeats the words.
“Although I knew he was lying, those words still hurt me.”
She drops a kiss on Ari’s little head. It was no secret that Pamela wanted children. She struggled with infertility in her marriage for years, which made Amir’s betrayal that much more awful.
Meagan places her hand on Pam’s knee. “You’re going to be a mother one day. I just know it in my soul.”
Pam smiles at Meagan, but I can see she isn’t so sure about her words.
“This all proves one thing,” Jada says, getting our attention.
“And what’s that?” Destiny asks with a chuckle.
“That men ain’t shit and we can all do without them.”
We all laugh. I can’t say that all men are horrible, but I can agree that the men some of us were married to definitely fit that bill.
“I don’t know about that,” Meagan teases. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, my ex was horrible, but I don’t think I can give up on all men. They do have their uses.” She winks knowingly.
“Ugh,” Pam shakes her head. “Amir was a cheating ass dog, but damn, that man could fuck.”
Destiny lifts her glass in the air as if she’s giving an agreeing toast. “Before the accident, Jace and I fucked like rabbits. We couldn’t get enough of each other. That man’s dick was superb.”
“I don’t know,” Kyra says. “Rafe was just okay. But I don’t have much to compare it to.”
“You and Ella don’t count,” Meagan jokes. “Ya’ll both have only been with your exes.”
“Hey,” I say, speaking up even though she was right. “Andrew was good in bed.”
Jay rolls her eyes. “I refuse to believe that. Andrew strikes me as the type of guy who only does one position and never changes it up.”
I laugh so hard I snort. “No, seriously. He wasn’t that bad. Toward the end, sex had become predictable. But when we were younger, he was so attentive. Always wanting to know if I’d enjoyed it. Back then he actually tried to give me an orgasm. After AJ, I barely ever got one.”
“Hold up.” Destiny leans forward, placing her glass on the coffee table. She then gives me her full attention. “What do you mean you barely ever got one? He wasn’t making you come every time?”
I shrug. “Well, no. I mean, most of the time there wasn’t much foreplay. He’d just come to bed, roll over and start feeling on me, and we would go from there. He attempted sometime, but he struggled so badly to find the right spot that I just ended up faking one so he wouldn’t feel bad.”
The girls looked around at each other before erupting in laughter.
“Jeez, El. Rafe wasn’t great, but he made sure I orgasmed.”
“Wait.” This time I sit up in my seat. “You guys are telling me you had orgasms every time you had sex?”
Meagan chuckles, leaning back in her seat. “My ex was a selfish motherfucker, but he ate pussy like his life depended on it. That man wouldn’t come off me until I was screaming the house down.”