Chapter Nineteen
Your Turn
Mitchell
The buzz of my phone woke me from my sleep. Groggily, I roll over onto my back. Even that little movement has me flinching. My head is killing me, my body aches, and I feel like I’ve been sapped of all my energy. I was sick.
Reaching for my ringing phone on the nightstand, I snatch it up, answer it, and place it to my ear.
“Hello?”
“Are you okay? Your truck was still in the yard this morning?”
A smile spread across my face upon hearing Ella’s concern for me. Usually, my truck is long gone by the time she leaves for work in the mornings.
“Yeah, baby, I’m alright. Just not feeling so great today. Think I caught that bug that’s been going around. I just need a day or two to rest, and I’ll be fine.”
“You don’t sound so good. I can call in today and—”
“Absolutely not.” I cut her off. “It’s just a little cold or something. I’ll be fine. I just need a little rest.”
Even without being able to see her, I can mentally make out her worrying that bottom lip between her teeth as she contemplates my words. It’s refreshing being in this thing with Ella.
In the past, it’s always felt as if I gave more than I got in my relationships. Especially in my marriage. I can’t blame Val though, I got her used to me taking care of her and being everything she needed. She didn’t know how to do the same for me. Maybe she did and just didn’t want to.
A heavy sigh fills the silence over the phone. “Okay,” she finally says. “But if you need me, call.”
Even through the pain in my head, a grin filled my face. “I will. Have a great day at work.”
“I will.”
We sit in silence for a moment. As bad as those three little words burn to come out of my mouth, I don’t say them. Not because I don’t feel them. Despite only being in this thing with Ella for nearly three months, I was sure of my feelings for her.
But I know Ella isn’t ready for the truth. As much progress as we’ve made with her not mentioning the deadline to this thing, I know she’s not yet ready to accept that I want forever. So instead of telling her I love her like I want, I remain silent.
“Okay,” she mumbles filling the silence. “I’ll call and check on you later. Bye.”
“Bye.”
I allow her to disconnect first. After placing my phone on the nightstand, I roll over onto my back and let out a deep exhale.
When I started this thing with Ella, I had no idea how hard and quickly I’d fall for the woman.
But let's be honest, I was already half in love with her before it started. I guess I wasn’t expecting to fall even harder.
I won’t lie like it’s not alarming. Because as hard as I’m falling for her, I know she’s still unsure about me.
Part of me understands because she is coming off a heartbreak and a divorce.
If it weren’t Ella, I would’ve never started anything with a woman that was recently divorced and clearly still hurt about her ex. But I’m a damn fool for that woman.
Tossing the cover off me, I stumble to my feet and make it into the bathroom to take a leak. My head is throbbing and my body immediately gets chills. I’m starting to think I may need more than just a day to recover.
Heading back to my bed, I grab my phone off the nightstand and quickly send a text to Val.
Ex From Hell: I’m home sick today. Can you grab Jacob from school and I’ll get him tomorrow?
Ella usually picks Jake up and brings him home from school on my weeks, but I didn’t want Jake stuck in the house with me while I’m sick.
This was my two weeks to have my son. For as long as the arrangement has been set, I have never missed a day or cut my time short with him. Val shouldn’t have any issues picking him up today.
I placed the phone back on my nightstand without waiting for her to reply. My eyes close, and before I know it, I’m back to sleep.
When I come awake again, my head is even worse than it was earlier.
I feel a little discombobulated. Turning to the side, I grab my phone.
My vision is blurry. I wait for it to clear before looking at my phone.
I have a ton of missed calls from Val. Before I can hit the redial button, a knock at my door has me lifting my head.
It sounds like the police are at my door ramming to get in.
“What the hell?”
Slowly standing to my feet, I sway a little and the room spins. My body feels heavy, and there are goosebumps covering my skin. I ignore my body’s plea for me to climb back into bed and make my way to the pounding at my front door.
I swing the door open and scowl down at the angry face standing on my porch.
“What are you doing here, Val?”
Her gaze narrows as she looks around me.
“You send me some bogus ass text about not getting your son today and then don’t answer your phone. Why do you think I’m here?” she shoves past me into my house.
She scans the room as if she’s expecting to find someone here.
Closing the door, I take a moment and count in my head before turning to face my ex. I didn’t have the energy to deal with Val today.
“How was my text bogus? I told you I wasn’t feeling well and that I’d get Jacob tomorrow.”
She crosses her arms over her chest and cocks her head to the side. “That won’t work for me. I’m going out-of-town today.”
“What the fuck do you mean, it doesn’t work for you?”
“Exactly what I said, Mitchell. I make plans on my breaks from Jacob, and you can’t just change those plans because you’re not feeling well.” She uses air quotes for the last two words.
Once again, I take a deep breath and count in my head. By the end of this encounter with Val, I might count to a million.
“One time,” I growl out once I’m done. “One fucking time, Valerie. I asked you to keep him an extra day and you can’t.”
“I have plans,” she shouts. “And I’m not changing those plans for you.”
“Not like all the times I’ve changed mine for you.”
She shrugs. “It was your choice. You could’ve said no.”
Just being on my feet now has my head swimming. I should be in bed getting rest. Instead, I’m up dealing with this bullshit. I glance at the clock on the wall. It’s almost 2 already, which means I had less time to prepare since I now need to get myself together so I can be ready when he gets here.
“You are fucking—” I shake my head as I let the words die down. Despite being pissed, I will never disrespect the mother of my child.
“I’m what?” she shouts, her hands dropping to her sides. “Please finish your statement.”
“You’re selfish.”
“Oh, fuck you, Mitchell. You swear you’re such a gotdamn saint. If you were so great, you wouldn't be trying to weasel out of your time with your son.”
My mind goes blank, and I take a step toward her. “The hell are you—”
“Is everything all right?”
Only her voice could pull me back from the rage I was feeling. Val had a lot of damn nerve. To insinuate that I didn’t want to spend time with Jacob was absolute bullshit. She knew it. Her tossing that line at me was just her way of being manipulative.
I turn to face my door to find Ella standing in my living room, her hands full of bags, and her pastel purple scrubs hugging her body perfectly. Her gaze bounces from me to Val.
“What is she doing here?” Val angrily asks me.
Ella walks further into the room, placing her bags on the coffee table.
“She can answer for herself,” Ella says facing Val. “I’m here because my friend is sick today. And although he doesn’t think he needs to be taken care of, he does.” Her gaze cut to me. “Why are you out of bed?”
Val scoffs. “Oh whatever. Please spare me. Mitch is a grown-ass man, he doesn’t need you babying him.”
“Taking care of someone when they’re sick is not babying. Especially when that person goes out of his way to take care of others.”
The two women face off. This isn’t the first time the two have bumped heads.
Ella was a lot quieter about her dislike for Val when we were married.
She often kept the peace and would hold her words when it came to disagreements with Val.
But the moment we got a divorce, she stopped letting things slide.
Val folds her arms over her chest and raises a brow. “Tell me, Ella, did you baby Andrew? Is that why he left you?”
Despite her trying to hide it, I caught Ella’s flinch at that comment.
Stepping forward, I hold out a hand. “Enough,” I growl, but it turns into a coughing fit.
Ella reaches out and places her hand on my arm. “Have you taken anything?”
“No. Not yet.”
“Mitch, you know better.” The worry and concern in her gaze make me feel bad for not taking better care of myself.
Val’s scoff has both of us turning back toward her.
“Look, I didn’t come to stay. And I’m damn sure not taking care of you.
” Val flips her hair over her shoulder and walks past us toward the door.
“And while you’re over here playing out your little fantasy that will never come true,” she makes sure to cut her gaze to me.
“You need to figure something out with Jacob. My flight leaves in two hours.”
With those last words, she walked out of my home, slamming the door behind her.
“What is she talking about?”
At this point, I’ve been on my feet too long and the room spins. I step away from Ella and head over to the couch. Plopping down with a low groan, I lean my head back and shut my eyes.
“I asked her to keep Jacob today, but she can’t. She has plans, apparently. It’s okay, I’ll just rest for a bit and get up when he comes home.”
“Um, no, you won’t.”
I don’t open my eyes to see her, but her voice grows closer, letting me know she’s moving toward me. Suddenly, I feel her body next to mine on the couch.
“Mitchell, you’re burning up.” Her cool hand feels so comforting pressed against my clammy head.
“It’s alright. I’ll push through.”
“You are going back to bed.”
I open my eyes and turn my head to look down at her.
“Ella, I can’t. I have to get up. He’s going to want to eat and—”
Her hand on my cheek stops me. “I got you.”
Those words, coming from her lips, have my heart pounding. To be honest, I don’t know if it’s because I’m madly in love with this woman or the sickness. It could be both.
I’m always saying those words to her. I say them because I mean them and expect nothing in return. However, hearing her repeat them back to me lets me know just how much I’ve needed to hear them.
“Jacob can stay with me and the boys for the next few days until you feel better.”
“I can’t ask you to do that.”
“You didn’t ask,” she says. “You’ve always been there for me, even back when we were in high school. You’re my backbone, Mitch. Let me be the support you need.”
Staring down at her rounded face, with those full, kissable lips and the most beautiful brown eyes I’ve ever seen, the words I’ve been keeping from her fly out of my mouth without another thought.
“I love you.”
She smiles. “Of course, I love you too.”
Grabbing her hands in mine, I try again to get her to understand.
“No, Ella. I love you.”
With those words, I want her to understand I don’t love her like a friend, or like someone that has been in her life since she was fifteen.
I don’t love her like the godfather to her kids, or like a man that has been by her side in some of her hardest moments.
I say those three words like a man who is so drawn to every piece of her, I’m consumed by the way she merely exists.
Her mouth closes, and her gaze falls to her lap.
Even though I knew she wasn’t ready to accept what I was feeling for her, I couldn’t hold it in any longer.
I don’t wait for her to say it back. I know this woman loves me, but she isn’t ready to admit it yet.
Not even to herself. It’s okay, I have all the time in the world to wait for her.
I’ve already waited twenty-three years for her, what's a few more?
“What’s in the bags?” I changed the subject, reaching for the bags on the coffee table.
I pull out the container of what I’m assuming is soup.
“It’s chicken soup from the diner and some medicine.” She pulls a jug of orange juice out of another bag and then hands me the box of medicine.
“How about you head back to bed? I’ll warm your soup up so you can eat before I go pick up the boys.” Ella stands and holds out her hand to me.
I placed the container of soup in her outstretched palm before getting to my feet. She turns to walk away, but I pull her back to face me. Glancing down at her face, I took in her features.
“I changed the subject for your comfort. But I want you to know that I said what I meant.”
Her eyes flutter down to her feet. “I know Mitch. I just—”
Using my finger, I tilt her head back up to me, cutting off her words. “I’m not rushing you for a reply. I just wanted you to know how I felt and what this is to me.”
I watch as all the fear and hesitancy cloud her gaze. I can read every doubt that runs through her mind as if it’s an open book. She’s terrified of others finding out and having opinions, but I also know it’s more than that. Her fear is deeper than just being ostracized and judged.
I drop my head down and place a kiss on her forehead, hating that I’m sick because I can’t kiss her lips.
Standing back up straight, I turn and head into the bedroom. My body is exhausted. I doubt I’ll be up long enough to even taste the soup.