29. Langdon
Twenty Nine
Langdon
I ’m hiding. I have to pee so badly. I really want to move but I will not. I’m too competitive to lose and if I get up—I’ll be found and being found is how you lose.
I shift a little in the small space. The jackets above me rustle and I silently curse myself. Anderson and his bullshit need for attention. The whole damn house is hiding, Mom, Dad, me. All to appease him. He’d really sealed the deal when he’d all but cried stating it was for Olivia.
Any of the past three years, this wouldn’t have happened. It would have sent everyone into a tailspin of tears and grief. Into a think about today. About what you can control right now. Go hour by hour if you have to kind of mentality.
But then Jennifer came back and all of a sudden Mom has been… better. When Mom’s better we’re all better. When she’s not, we all tiptoe around trying not to make our lives seem too great or big or livable.
I don’t understand the parent-child relationship. Bridges and the waters below, just clues left behind. So many secrets and things unspoken. Don’t they understand that the unspoken things do the most damage to the kids?
The fear of letting go though, that’s the real doozie, I think. Fear can only hold you captive for so long though and I think maybe Jennifer coming back and Mom seeing her has helped her let some of it go.
I don’t understand why until Delia and her mom showed up, Mom never once mentioned her before. Regardless, it’s Monday, and playing hide and seek with my family is not how I’d like to be spending the night.
My mind wanders to Delia as I sit tightly balled up in the closet. Mom’s been found—she sucks at hiding. I can hear Anderson laughing.
What the hell was she doing in Danny’s car today? The day after we messed around. How could she be with him? It pisses me off to think that perhaps she wasn’t as riled up and stuck on our make-out session last night. That she didn’t feel what I felt. It was the only damn thing on my mind all night and all day.
I hadn’t exactly meant I’d distract her with my lips but the look on her face when I suggested a distraction was pure desire and I’d just run with it. How could I not? When a girl has that look in her eyes, you do not back down. I’d really only meant to avoid the Olivia playlist conversation.
It’s nice finally knowing someone who doesn’t know all your business. Ugh . Not that I regret the outcome. Delia feels like playing with fire. Like purposefully lighting a fire and constantly adding to it. Fanning it until it gets so big that it’s out of control. Delia’s skin on mine, pure fireworks.
My cock twitches at the thought of her. God, her lips, her hands on me felt like the earth being scorched. I didn’t think I’d be able to walk downstairs and get in the car without everyone seeing my boner. She’s the most gorgeous creature I’ve laid eyes on.
It’s not lost on me that at lunch, when she smiles I swear every other guy in the cafeteria notices. Not just the guys, but Hailie too. She’s got the eyes of a hawk, trained on me. I’m the prey. If I notice Delia, she does too, and not in a good way, but it’s impossible to look away from her.
I wonder if all the guys feel that way—like when she looks at them they have some claim on her. I smile at myself, happy that I’m the only one who gets to touch her and then I’m reminded of her in Danny’s car today and I’m not so certain I should feel so smug.
Dad’s been found. Anderson’s squeal of prepubescent delight rings through the hallway. I really have to pee. I look around, for anything, an empty bottle, an empty storage tote I can relieve myself in. There’s nothing. I refuse to be found. It’s petty I know, but Anderson can’t always win and I’m sick of Mom and Dad catering to his every whim strictly on the basis of his mental health.
Maybe I can sneak over to Heath’s and toss a rock at her window—ask what the deal is with Danny. That’s so gross, Langdon. No. If she had a phone I’d text her. Say hi, what’s up ? But no. She’s straight out of the nineties apparently. I can’t talk to her at school, Hailie will lose it if she finds out. Would it really be so bad if I showed up at Heath’s? I just need to see her and tomorrow at work feels like an eternity from now.
I roll my neck and shoulders and wait. The knob on the closet door turns. I make myself as small as possible. All six feet of me tucked away in the back corner—soundless. A triangle of light illuminates the floor to my left. I can hear Anderson breathing. He’s such a mouth breather. Gross. I really have to pee. Just give up already buddy. I hold my breath. The door closes.
“Fine! I give up,” Anderson announces loudly.
I stand and let out a sigh of relief.
My bladder goes with it.
“Shit. I’m gonna kill you,” I shout busting through the closet door into the hallway as I sprint for the bathroom.
I hate hide and seek.