36. Langdon
Thirty Six
Langdon
S chool.
The absolute last place I want to be.
My mind is tied up in Delia and last night and this morning.
After each of my classes, I pop by hers.
Mrs. Delvey in the office was nice enough to give me Delia’s schedule so I can collect her assignments for her. All I want to do is bring them over to her and see her face.
I fidget with the friendship bracelet on my wrist. My last gift from Olivia. It’s stained and dull and threadbare but I will wear it until it breaks and even then I will keep it.
“Lang!” I turn and see Hailie stomping down the hall toward me. “Wait up,” she says.
Her face looks like it’s been hit by a Mack truck. Both her eyes are bruised and her nose is swollen. A plastic-surgery-gone-wrong kind of look. I shudder a little.
“What’s up?”
She pouts. “You didn’t text, or check in on me. That’s what’s up,” she says.
Dumbfounded, I stare at her. Check in on her? What was there to check in on? She picked a fight with Delia and lost. Anger bubbles in my gut. I am so sick of Hailie and her bullshit that I could punch her .
“It hadn’t occurred to me to care,” I say.
Her mouth hangs open, gaping, which makes her look even more ridiculous. “What did you say?” Her tone is venom.
I straighten to my full height. “I know what you did, Hailie. You started a fight you couldn’t win this time. Why would I check in on you? What you did was bullshit. It was mean and for what? We’re not together. We never will be. Stop being so crazy obsessive.”
Hailie glares at me. “Apologize, Lang.”
I glare right back. “For what?”
Niko is heading our way. He lifts a hand to wave but drops it when he sees Hailie’s expression.
“Everything okay here?” He asks and hesitantly slings an arm around Hailie’s shoulders. She shrugs him off with a huff.
“Yup,” I say to him. I take one last look at Hailie and head to the cafeteria.
“I will ruin you!” she screeches .
“Woah, easy there, killer,” Niko says.
I don’t look back.
I sit at Delia’s usual table in the cafeteria and eat my lunch alone. I’ve never eaten alone. Not even Niko comes to sit with me. It’s a shit feeling honestly and it makes me wonder how Delia’s done it every day.
Watching everyone else sit together and eat, chat, laugh. It’s disheartening and depressing. It makes my insides roil with guilt. I should have sat with her or at the very least invited her to sit with me. But I didn’t. I wouldn’t have because the popular kids don’t do that. Olivia would have been so mad at me about that. She would have been so disappointed. She would have said, “I thought you were a better big brother than that.” And she would have been right.
I’ve been such a dick. I laughed at Delia with my friends when she freaked out during her presentation. I laughed. It wasn’t that it was funny. Lucas had been cracking up and elbowed me and I’d just… joined in. Just because.
I scrape a hand over my face and groan. All my actions and inactions float through my mind. As all my offenses add up I wonder why Delia has continually given me the time of day.
At the next table over, Hailie reaches over, pulls Niko’s face to hers, and kisses him obscenely—her eyes trained on me the entire time. I almost laugh. Good for him. Finally .
I text Mom after last period and she agrees to pick up Anderson from school so that I can head to Delia’s to drop off her work. She also lets me know what a sweet gesture it is. I nearly blush at her words.
Heath’s truck isn’t in the driveway when I arrive and I wonder if they’re out. I scoop up the pile of papers on the passenger seat and walk up to the door. It’s a chilly afternoon. The wind is whipping and the papers fluttered in my hands. I raise my hand to knock and end up nearly knocking on Delia’s face.
She stands in the doorway, one hand on the door and the other on the frame, wide-eyed.
I lower my hand. “Hey.”
“I’m grounded. Sort of.”
I smile. “Ok. I brought your homework from today.”
She cocks her head and squints at me. “Really?”
I nod and thrust the packets of papers at her.
Taking them she hugs them to her chest. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” Everything feels awkward now that I’ve been marinating in all the wrong choices I’ve committed since I met her. “Well, cool. I’ll ah. Go?”
Delia bursts into laughter. “You’re so weird sometimes.”
“So I should stay?”
“Gramps said no friends over for a week,” she says and I’m already looking for a loophole.
What about more than friends? Does that count?
“But he didn’t say no walks in the yard? I’ve been lazy all day, want to take a walk out back?” she asks.
My smile widens. “Yeah.”
“Lemme grab a coat.” She turns, leaving me on the porch at the door. “Oh! I got a phone. It’s not a cool one like yours but I have an actual phone now. Want my number?”
She reappears, grinning, at the door. My eyes wander over her face, the happiness in her eyes, her chest, swimming in Heath’s coat.
“What?” she asks.
“Nothing, you look perfect.”
She smiles big and I can’t tear my eyes from her as we march down the front steps.
“Seriously, what?” she says tucking a wind-struck chunk of hair behind her ear.
“I just want to be alone with that smile,” I say.
Her eyes widen and she looks straight ahead, walking faster as her cheeks tinge red. We walk silently through the yard and into the back field. I want to reach out and take her hand in mine but I shove it in my pocket instead.
“So what did you do today? And how much trouble are you in?” I break the silence once we’re in the field.
Delia picks stray flowers and clumps them together in her hand. “Well, no friends over for a week. And… that’s it really. Oh, and Gramps bought me a phone. Which isn’t punishment but really threw me for a loop. I wasn’t expecting that. Especially after reading Mom’s journal.”
“Wait, what? Your mom left a journal?”
Delia lays down in the tall grass, the tiny bouquet of flowers clutched at her chest. I follow suit and sit next to her.
“Yeah. Well. Not intentionally,” she laughs. “It was sort of hidden in her room. From high school. No one ever cleaned out her room. There are lots of pages missing but the stuff still there, I read. Talks about how she met my dad and getting pregnant and how Gramps and Maeve reacted.”
“Seriously?”
She nods. “Seriously. It’s been… eye-opening.”
“In a good way or a bad way?” I ask, staring down at her.
She picks at the flowers in the assortment. “Both I guess. Mom wrote about a cabin my dad was building for them. I kinda wonder if it’s still there.”
I lie back in the tall grass and wildflowers. “It is.”
“Wait what? How do you know?” she asks.
Her body shifts, rolling like a wave, her hips swaying with a rhythm that makes my cock twitch in anticipation. Her face is only inches from mine. Every inch of my skin is on fire, screaming for contact. I want to grab her, pull her into me, and crush my mouth against hers until we’re both gasping for air. The energy between us is electric, crackling like a live wire.
I clear my throat. “After they died I—”
“Oh I’m sorry,’’ she interrupts. “You don’t have to talk about it.” She flops back to the ground and stares at the clear evening sky, breaking the moment.
“It’s fine. I used to go sit on his porch and miss Olivia. But I was also thanking him for saving Anderson and my parents. I’d just sit there and wonder what kind of guy he was. Sometimes I’d clean up the leaves on the porch or yard. Keep the place looking decent. I don’t know. It was stupid— I mean it’s not like he was coming home or could see. It just made me feel better. And it was private. It was hard to be alone anywhere. Mom freaked and basically kept Anderson and me prisoner. But the house was sad and somber and it was so lonely even with everyone there. If I needed to get out, I’d sneak out and go to his place to be alone.”
Delia’s fingers intertwine with mine. It’s comforting now that my head has descended back into that dark place where the death of Olivia lives. My brain has trouble reconciling the fact that Delia’s the daughter of the man who saved most of my family. Like we were always meant to connect.
To meet. To be together, in each other’s lives.
“I’m so sorry. I can’t even imagine what that was like for you or your family.”
“Yeah,” I snort. “But I can’t imagine not knowing who my dad was or that I had a family I didn’t know about. Guess we’re both effed up.”
Delia laughs quietly before releasing my hand from hers.